mistletoe smoochin' open log. go wild. let us know if anything gets too adult. or take your dirty diddlin' to a locked post. otherwise, this will remain public.
[Although it's not fully unexpected, somehow, it manages to still hurt. It stirs within her various feelings on the subject, changing and fighting for dominance. After a moment her fingers slip from his grasp, hand falling to hang limp at the side.
Gaze down, she stares up ahead of her at a spot on the floor. The thin line of her brow scrunches together after a long moment and she speaks, quiet.]
It's not...as though I don't understand.
[His whole life, his family - everything was changed because of the actions of vampires. Vampires, in particular, like her.]
You love me... and because of that you look past certain things, because it's me.
[Fact, quiet and softly spoken. It's nothing he can deny, only simple truth.]
But you hate...the sort of creature I am. How does - how can someone completely love a person, if they despise what they are? If we had never met, I'd be... nothing more than a name that, the greater majority of the association, would be happy to be without. [A soft, humorless laugh] That they even now would be happy to be without.
[She draws a deep, unsettled breath, at last finally looking back up to catch his violet gaze.]
I love you, Zero. I love the overwhelming human within you. And I love the vampire, too. I even can love and respect the hunter as well. [Even when she can disagree on so many different reasons and methods. When his quick and rash actions are so fast and without pause, outwardly icy cold. Reaching out once more she lifts his hand to her heart, eyes fluttering shut.]
Can you tell me the same? Can you love the pureblood in me? Even as dark and dangerous as it is...?
You asked once, if she - the human me, was still inside of me, right? Did you ever get your answer?
[She shakes her head, lifting his hand to gently brush soft lips against it in a tender show of affection.]
It's not that I don't understand. But it makes me sad, too.
[After a small pause, with an aching, heavy smile, the corners of her mouth tilt up. A soft, sincere gaze, before she lifts up onto tiptoe and presses a gentle kiss to the smooth warmth of his lips.]
[The entirety of her response is overwhelming. The audacity with the affection with the heavy pull it all seems to execute; his heart squeezed in a vicious iron grip, even as the ever-flourishing love continues to flood his veins.
It's not that easy.
It shouldn't be possible for any single person to simultaneously experience such a wide spectrum of conflicting emotions.
Zero can hardly find his voice in that moment, let alone any words. His chest aches in both desperate love and undeniable truths. An agonizing yet blissful intoxication.
And on top of it all, all at once, even just the way she professes her love for him, alone, is almost too much for him to handle. His hand briefly tenses in the initial seconds after Yuuki places it over her heart, the knot in his gut pressing forth to the back of his throat...
("Did you ever get your answer?")
...and brows crease further, pain etching its way to the surface in an unadulterated display, even as the gentle touch of her lips brush his skin.
After all this time, even amidst the moments they had at home, he has no straight answer for her, in the case of that specific question she repeats back to him. So much has changed, and yet so little has not.
Even as Yuuki smiles the heart-breaking smile unto him, her gaze so heavy yet still so gentle and warm, the kiss hardly registers enough in this moment for Zero to respond. In ways, it is the finely sharpened white-hot blade that cuts deeper.]
...I don't know...
[Barely a whisper, rough at the edges. He has a hand of hers to his cheek, savoring its warmth as if there won't be a next time. The words (the admission) is repeated a second time as his other arm goes about Yuuki's slight frame, tugging against him in a broken embrace, even as he drops to his knees before her, that hand falling to her back.
Forehead meeting her shoulder, his eyes squeeze shut over a fine layer of moisture, unshed and unbidden.]
Yuuki... Forgive me, I don't know.
[Voice tensed, desperate. His other arm circles around her, fingers slipping up through her hair at the back of her head. A secure, however gentle hold.
Even when speaking again, it's a broken tone; hushed, though honest.]
...But... I can promise I love you. I love you more than I know how to tell you.
[For so long, by now. He never did stop, even when the attempts were made to detach his heart from her.
His head comes to rest against Yuuki's forehead, both hands drawing back up to softly cup her cheeks, although his heavy-laden gaze doesn't meet hers just yet. The weighted thud of his heart resounds between his ears and trembles in his chest.]
That's the only answer I know, Yuuki... so, please...
[ Please let it be. (Please just let me love you like this. No more questions.) ]
[It's too difficult to keep a veil over her emotions. Impossible to hide her reactions to his words, even the scent (salty liquid that gathers to cling to long lashes) betrays her.
She can't fake a smile to lie and tell him 'It's fine.' Not when she doesn't feel that way. All the same the painful sense of understanding remains, undeniable as it is. Too much has happened. Deep, festering wounds often leave scars that never fade away completely.
Her stomach clenches, jaw tightening as she swallows thickly. The sharp tip of her fangs brush the inside of her lower lip, aware of them in the moment. Each beat of her heart breaks further, heavy and full of pain.
Slow, careful fingers brush his cheek, another tender caress. Then, warm arms envelope him to wrap him within her embrace, simply holding him against her chest.]
Shhh...
[Cradling, gentle hands stroke his hair, patting his head comfortingly as she shushes him soothingly. So much like all those years ago, except this time she's part of the cause of his turmoil, confusion, and upset.
The broken smile on her lips cracks, full of heartache but unseen as she draws a steadying breath.
[Even if she had tried, he still can smell her silent tears. Her heartbreak tangible and infectious. He can feel the way her smile delicately balances between anguish and tender consolation; how one heart can work to ease itself, even in the midst of aching. He could never expect her to lie, not about anything.
Yet, the pain reverberates within him, amplified in knowing how much of it is his fault. Guilt underlies the aching pull of his heart even as he drinks in Yuuki's gentle touch.
Similar to the way faint tears unknowingly dot along his lashes, the small sprig of mistletoe above them harbors none of their attention, and plays little at all into their behavior.
A tilt of his head, Zero's heart still squeezed tight, breath coming shallow and hardly thought of. His brow creased, one hand drawing forth from behind Yuuki's head to softly cup a cheek, a thumb quietly sweeping away any tears that might fall.
(How do I deserve you, at all?)
His lips draw in to hers. Almost a tentative kiss, at first, however only in appearance. ]
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Gaze down, she stares up ahead of her at a spot on the floor. The thin line of her brow scrunches together after a long moment and she speaks, quiet.]
It's not...as though I don't understand.
[His whole life, his family - everything was changed because of the actions of vampires. Vampires, in particular, like her.]
You love me... and because of that you look past certain things, because it's me.
[Fact, quiet and softly spoken. It's nothing he can deny, only simple truth.]
But you hate...the sort of creature I am. How does - how can someone completely love a person, if they despise what they are? If we had never met, I'd be... nothing more than a name that, the greater majority of the association, would be happy to be without. [A soft, humorless laugh] That they even now would be happy to be without.
[She draws a deep, unsettled breath, at last finally looking back up to catch his violet gaze.]
I love you, Zero. I love the overwhelming human within you. And I love the vampire, too. I even can love and respect the hunter as well. [Even when she can disagree on so many different reasons and methods. When his quick and rash actions are so fast and without pause, outwardly icy cold. Reaching out once more she lifts his hand to her heart, eyes fluttering shut.]
Can you tell me the same? Can you love the pureblood in me? Even as dark and dangerous as it is...?
You asked once, if she - the human me, was still inside of me, right? Did you ever get your answer?
[She shakes her head, lifting his hand to gently brush soft lips against it in a tender show of affection.]
It's not that I don't understand. But it makes me sad, too.
[After a small pause, with an aching, heavy smile, the corners of her mouth tilt up. A soft, sincere gaze, before she lifts up onto tiptoe and presses a gentle kiss to the smooth warmth of his lips.]
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It's not that easy.
It shouldn't be possible for any single person to simultaneously experience such a wide spectrum of conflicting emotions.
Zero can hardly find his voice in that moment, let alone any words. His chest aches in both desperate love and undeniable truths. An agonizing yet blissful intoxication.
And on top of it all, all at once, even just the way she professes her love for him, alone, is almost too much for him to handle. His hand briefly tenses in the initial seconds after Yuuki places it over her heart, the knot in his gut pressing forth to the back of his throat...
("Did you ever get your answer?")
...and brows crease further, pain etching its way to the surface in an unadulterated display, even as the gentle touch of her lips brush his skin.
After all this time, even amidst the moments they had at home, he has no straight answer for her, in the case of that specific question she repeats back to him. So much has changed, and yet so little has not.
Even as Yuuki smiles the heart-breaking smile unto him, her gaze so heavy yet still so gentle and warm, the kiss hardly registers enough in this moment for Zero to respond. In ways, it is the finely sharpened white-hot blade that cuts deeper.]
...I don't know...
[Barely a whisper, rough at the edges. He has a hand of hers to his cheek, savoring its warmth as if there won't be a next time. The words (the admission) is repeated a second time as his other arm goes about Yuuki's slight frame, tugging against him in a broken embrace, even as he drops to his knees before her, that hand falling to her back.
Forehead meeting her shoulder, his eyes squeeze shut over a fine layer of moisture, unshed and unbidden.]
Yuuki... Forgive me, I don't know.
[Voice tensed, desperate. His other arm circles around her, fingers slipping up through her hair at the back of her head. A secure, however gentle hold.
Even when speaking again, it's a broken tone; hushed, though honest.]
...But... I can promise I love you. I love you more than I know how to tell you.
[For so long, by now. He never did stop, even when the attempts were made to detach his heart from her.
His head comes to rest against Yuuki's forehead, both hands drawing back up to softly cup her cheeks, although his heavy-laden gaze doesn't meet hers just yet. The weighted thud of his heart resounds between his ears and trembles in his chest.]
That's the only answer I know, Yuuki... so, please...
[ Please let it be. (Please just let me love you like this. No more questions.) ]
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She can't fake a smile to lie and tell him 'It's fine.' Not when she doesn't feel that way. All the same the painful sense of understanding remains, undeniable as it is. Too much has happened. Deep, festering wounds often leave scars that never fade away completely.
Her stomach clenches, jaw tightening as she swallows thickly. The sharp tip of her fangs brush the inside of her lower lip, aware of them in the moment. Each beat of her heart breaks further, heavy and full of pain.
Slow, careful fingers brush his cheek, another tender caress. Then, warm arms envelope him to wrap him within her embrace, simply holding him against her chest.]
Shhh...
[Cradling, gentle hands stroke his hair, patting his head comfortingly as she shushes him soothingly. So much like all those years ago, except this time she's part of the cause of his turmoil, confusion, and upset.
The broken smile on her lips cracks, full of heartache but unseen as she draws a steadying breath.
For now...it's okay, Zero...]
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Yet, the pain reverberates within him, amplified in knowing how much of it is his fault. Guilt underlies the aching pull of his heart even as he drinks in Yuuki's gentle touch.
Similar to the way faint tears unknowingly dot along his lashes, the small sprig of mistletoe above them harbors none of their attention, and plays little at all into their behavior.
A tilt of his head, Zero's heart still squeezed tight, breath coming shallow and hardly thought of. His brow creased, one hand drawing forth from behind Yuuki's head to softly cup a cheek, a thumb quietly sweeping away any tears that might fall.
(How do I deserve you, at all?)
His lips draw in to hers. Almost a tentative kiss, at first, however only in appearance. ]
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