☯ 001 [video]
[The video opens on a face with a pair of blue eyes the color of the ocean, or the blue of a masterfully-cut sapphire, or the blue of the heavens around her, but with a much hotter, more exotic flame ablaze. She looks neutral for a second, and it almost seems like she's going to start yelling
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[It's useless to look unbearably sad about it. So Touko simply smiles, wryly -- how can she not, when she has that smile opposite her to chase away the doubt?]
...I let him go.
[She feels she needs to explain herself, somehow. Maybe she just takes too much comfort in the sound of her own voice, she thinks. She thinks N would understand even with just those simple words, but she follows up anyway.]
I couldn't do that to Zekrom. I wanted to be his friend, like you... not his keeper. But I also couldn't just store one of my other Pokemon indefinitely in favor of him, not when we'd gone through so much, all seven of us. That would be like stabbing whoever got the box treatment in the back.
So I told him we should go separate ways. But before that, I made him promise, if he ever found through some weird cosmic fortune telling or whatever legendary Pokemon are in-tune with that something would happen to me, or if I caught wind something was going to happen to him, or we just needed the help of a friend... we'd go back for each other right away.
[It's true that she should think that because she's here now, it's easy to assume Zekrom didn't keep his promise. But she doesn't believe that. Maybe it only means she's not in any danger right now, or it's some sort of trial he feels she should use to better herself...]
That was the best I could do for him, I think.
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thankfully that fear is quickly dispelled when he remembers the delighted flicker of life blazing in reshiram's eyes when he recalls the first time in aeons she was greeted with the sight of her missing half, truly her own essence in every way. N can't recall a pokémon ever looking as happy as reshiram did in that moment, and for good reason too. zekrom's strength was beyond impressive, the battle itself breathtaking, and even if the two of them lost, N still felt devoid of the crushing pressure of disappointment at having his life utterly ruined. if anything, he shared reshiram's feelings, her desire for pursuit.
it was a split-second of fear but he knows deep down zekrom should be fine.]
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You were right in your decision.
[when N returns to reality, he smiles at touko reassuringly.]
He's very strong, and very intelligent from what I heard him say. Perhaps even now, he's protecting Unova in our stead?
[a pause.]
I wonder what the current me who lives in your world has done with Reshiram. Does he sense that you have freed Zekrom? I hope so, so that he may free Reshiram as well, and she will then seek him out so that the two of them may finally be together without quarreling.
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I don't like to think of it as just "freeing" him, though. We're still tied, after all. A long time ago, I wouldn't have even thought of doing something like that. But it felt right.
Someday, maybe they'll find themselves again. I hope that someday comes soon for them both.
[Now, the smile on her face can only be described as purely fulfilled, no matter the reasons why.]
Well, that, and you had a bigger effect on me than I think you might ever know.
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They have been separated for many hundreds of years until now, right? Surely, they long for a time when they can be as they are meant to, free of battle, just two souls reveling in a feeling of completeness only they can give each other.
I would be happy to let her go. The both of them are finally free to move about as they wish, so it's only right that they be allowed to enjoy this freedom.
Even if he isn't by your side physically, Touko, Zekrom still chose you. He recognizes your strength and fortitude, and those blessings are not things that can easily vanish. You are still a hero, and nothing will change that.
[his smile softens at the thought and once again he thinks of touya. would it be proper to say she changed his life as well? it's a complex situation he's not quite ready to think about, and for right now he wants to enjoy touko as she is, no preexisting longings tying him down.]
That's pleasing to hear, though.
[a nostalgic look overcomes him as he thinks for a moment, wonders what would be appropriate to share and what wouldn't. for now, N decides to continue shouldering the weight of the world in silence, continuing to cling to these happy times.]
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[Why, then, she wonders briefly, did they do it in the first place? Sealing themselves away so fully so that nothing and no one could get through to them...
But she already knows the answer somehow. They had their own heroes, before N and herself. The brothers, wasn't it? Like them, born of the same origin. Maybe, because people aren't built to stand the test of time like a Pokemon revered as a deity, they closed up and slept, to try and escape the despair of being left behind, of having lost that other half. It was unfortunate, to be so crushed by something so natural and inevitable, but that way, they could dream of those times, instead, relive that fleeting happiness over and over and over again.
...Surely, they were happy to have the emotional capacity to go on again, too, to stand with their own strength. Touko grins sincerely.]
Maybe I am, if you think so. I'm happy I could be one, at least for a while, because it brought me so many things I didn't have before.
[And then she looks at his wistful expression as his his eyes darken and turn inward to look at something only he can see, and decides to stand on her toes to try and level out the height different and meet his gaze more closely. She can't hide the small smile-smirk that tugs at her lips.]
--Hey, N. If you have something else you want to say, say it. Don't think I can't see you drowning yourself in your own thoughts there.
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with a shake of his head, N lifts his hands in a peaceful gesture before putting his thoughts to a halt. he's scared touko enough for one day. he doesn't want to hurt her anymore, which is all he's ever done whether she wanted to take this journey or not.]
They are nothing to concern you should concern yourself with. Do not worry. I would say you have far more pressing issues to see to right now, such as finding your apartment.
[they're ideas he'll have to come up with a solution to on his own one day. right now though, his heart has already covered its ears, shut its eyes, and started humming a loud and familiar song. some habits die harder than others and he's as ashamed as he is troubled by the idea.]
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...Well, I guess since you're taking on that regal tone in your voice there, I can't really argue right now.
[Her words notably lack criticism or heat, though. If anything, she's teasing him, judging by that slow smile that slides onto her face. She can't keep even the pretense of dissatisfaction up for long right now.]
But you have a point. I guess it'd be a nice change of pace, for once. To have something that's supposed to be my space, like my room back home. I haven't slept in my own room in... I can't even tell you how long!
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That's quite a shame. Still, it must be comforting to know there is a place to call home waiting for you. I still haven't quite accepted my apartment as a permanent residence myself. I know I should get used to it, though.
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Well, getting used to it is different from accepting it, isn't it? Even if you don't have a place you can call home, you can find it in other things, and other people. Pokemon, too.
[Like Alder, she thinks, who may or may not have anywhere to go back to and call his homeland, as unbound and free a spirit as he is. Unfortunately, it's not something she's ever asked him about before.]
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That's something I've never thought of, actually.
[a distant smile.]
It's comforting, though. One of the main reasons I want to leave this place is so that I may continue in my efforts to forge my own path back in our world. Having a piece of home here with me, though... It's a nice thought.
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[She wants to say "and you, too", judging by the hesitation, but the knowledge that it's not really her N holds her back.]
Well, I think you could define your home by the people and Pokemon you're with, and not by where you are.
...Yeah, I like the sound of that better. The place you grew up isn't really the same thing as the place you feel you belong.
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I've been here for about a month or so. I...have lost the ability to communicate with Pokémon, so it has put a bit of a strain on Zoroark and I's relationship. It's different now.
[his smile takes a sad look to it before he shakes his head and rebounds quickly.]
Plasma Castle is no more, and I hold no power over those who were once loyal to my cause. All I have are my Pokémon, really. So long as there are Pokémon there, though, and I am able to do good for them... I could probably come to call any place home.
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[Her expression falls in disappointment.]
That sounds really hard... I'm sorry.
[She ducks her gaze down to her feet, kicking at one particular rock on the ground idly as she walks again and again.]
...I always kind of envied you for that, though. You told me it was sad I couldn't hear them the first time we met, and it kind of made me sad, the more I thought about it.
[After an awkward pause, though, she seems to think of something and looks at N again.]
And, hey, whether you want it or not, you've got my help, too. I think it's good to pave your own road in the direction you want it to go with your own hands, but don't do it all alone.
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It's quite difficult, but I am taking it in stride thus far. Zoroark and I can still understand each other in different ways, and it was only he and I until you arrived here. We are both still adjusting, but I'm sure our friendship can weather this adversity.
[when he glances to her, he's wearing another small, reassuring smile, filled with sincerity and confidence.]
Their voices are wonderful things, but even if you cannot hear them, I still firmly believe that your understanding of Pokémon transcends language.
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Thank you, Touko.
[there are many things he wants to thank her for, he thinks, but once again the difference between touko and touya comes to mind and he can't help but feel a little guilty for not being exactly who she misses. but he knows himself too, knows that the N in her memories probably wants to say the exact same things to her, thank her and apologize for the trouble and do whatever it takes to make it all up to her, and he doesn't want to take that away from him.
he has no one else but touko, no one at all. N would often indulge when reality was too much, but he also wanted to remain resolute in at least one of his newfound convictions.]
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