Dec 03, 2005 09:35
so im updating for those of you who missed me... happy?
im happy cuz i saw rent, three times and soon to be four!! and i saw all my sos buddies, well, not all, but a bunch, i missed you courtney!
and winter formal... what a mess! i invited austin because i figured he woould say no, but he said yes... umm... ok... but he made it seem like i had begged him to go, which i hadnt, so i told hom if he didnt want to go, he didnt have to, cuz then i found out that david rupley would be in town, and kinda would have rather gone with him, so i was planning on asking him instead... or david mckee or celeste and abby... and austin doesnt dance... ok, so why did i ask him, cuz i figured he would say no, cuz i felt bad about not going with him last year, cuz i miss him, and cuz i still like him(well, obviously) so then he said i should find a different date cuz our "chances" ran out a long time ago... i should have just left it at that, but i was hurt and confused, because i was asking him as a friend, not cuz i thought we would get back together... so, ouch! and so i sent him some messages and he sent some back saying he still loves me and probably always will... woah! and that he didnt believe that i had given up... whisch he was right about... but still! so we ended up talking for a long time, and now i think i just got myself into a mess, where we are going to be "friends with benefits" but that doesnt work at all, cuz i think you have to be friends to be friends with benefits... and you cant really have feelings for the other person... so now what? where do i go from here? what the hell am i doing with my life? and then one of my friends asked me to formal, and i told him i was going to go with david, cuz thats who i thought i was going to ask at that point, but i think austin really does want to go, so i dont know what to do about that either, cuz i do still like him and want to go with him, i dont want my friend to think i was lying to get out of going with him... yikes, so confusing!
oh! and i got a new message on my phone! woot! so call and listen to it! and im spoochie, in case you were wondering...
ok, sick and cold and giong back in the house now... maybe if you guys are lucky i will get on the internet again in this month...
and he did listen to that cd i made for him... LOL! thats so weird... he hates that kind of music, but it wasnt for him to enjoy it, it was for me to get a point across! but its kinda like i never thought he would actually listen to more than one song and go, ok, done with this... whatever... im done now...