Up to speed
I've been pretty busy lately with school and photo stuff. I'm taking 20 hours this semester plus my photo editor and photographer gig with student media. What am I thinking?
I'm thinking it's time to graduate.
School is going pretty good so far. Most of my classes are independent study so I think that will help me handle the course load. I don't have to go to every single class everyday so I have more free time to do work for my classes. Things are working out nicely. I love when fate is on my side. Please let her stay there awhile longer!
I think I need to start a bedroom blog or something. Not that I'm turning into a whore. It just seems that whenever I talk to a friend I haven't spoken with in a week or so, I start to tell them about a guy and the conversation begins to move like this:
"Wait. What happened to so and so?"
Or, "Who is this guy?"
Or (my favorite scenario) "Is this the __(blank)__ guy?" My response = "No. Different guy."
Boys are all very temporary for me right now. I wouldn't mind a fairly steady guy but I don't want anything serious. I don't know if I can have both.
So, ST is history. There was just no spark, at least not from my end. And he kind of struck me as controlling. Yeah. . .that would never work. He was also calling and texting me everyday and I couldn't always get back to him because I'm a busy girl. You know, with the 20 hours and all. Plus I don't want to do the distance thing.
Sunday I was supposed to drive to see him. However, I was $20 in the negative in my account with no signs of getting out. I flat out did not have the money to take a drive anywhere. Also, when I told my sister about him, she told me to get out ASAP. To quote her, "If he is getting this serious after one date, run Cheryl. Put my ex-husband's face on his body and yes, I think it's that serious." Nuff said.
I called ST and told him I couldn't make it and that I didn't think it would work out. I thought he wanted something more serious and I am not the girl to give that to him. Better not to lead him on.
He continued to call and text me for the next couple of days, wanting to talk. Lora and Katie kept joking that I had another stalker. He would have made 5 and that is just one too many stalkers for any human. I think I've had so many stalkers because I unknowingly encouraged their behavior by trying not to be too mean. Fuck that now. I'm going to be a bitch if it means having some peace in my life.
ST sent me a text a few days later saying he wished me luck and he was deleting my number. My reaction was one of relief. O thank God. Not another stalker. No more myspace guys.
Moving on. . .
CK still confuses me more and more every damn day. He calls me just to chat, which I'm totally cool with. I like talking to him. It's just. . .I don't know. The way he talks and acts around me. . .I get a vibe. His mouth says one thing but his actions and body language say another. I can say for certain that nothing will happen with CK. We are good friends and that's all he wants, or rather all he can handle. I just can't help feeling the vibe. Maybe it's all in my head.
I will confess, if something were to happen with CK I probably wouldn't say no. The only thing that would hold me back would be how he might feel the next day. He made a joke about us having a drunken night of "fun" together and how it might not be so bad. I went along with the joke but I thought to myself, no Cheryl. He would regret it and be weird about it the next morning. I think I could handle it (I've gotten good about shutting things off) but I don't think he could. I wish I could ask him and feel like I was getting a completely honest answer.
That's what I really need. Someone who I know is as honest and tactless as I am. Then I would feel like I could take everything at face value. I'll start taking applications Monday.
I'm thinking it's time to graduate.
School is going pretty good so far. Most of my classes are independent study so I think that will help me handle the course load. I don't have to go to every single class everyday so I have more free time to do work for my classes. Things are working out nicely. I love when fate is on my side. Please let her stay there awhile longer!
I think I need to start a bedroom blog or something. Not that I'm turning into a whore. It just seems that whenever I talk to a friend I haven't spoken with in a week or so, I start to tell them about a guy and the conversation begins to move like this:
"Wait. What happened to so and so?"
Or, "Who is this guy?"
Or (my favorite scenario) "Is this the __(blank)__ guy?" My response = "No. Different guy."
Boys are all very temporary for me right now. I wouldn't mind a fairly steady guy but I don't want anything serious. I don't know if I can have both.
So, ST is history. There was just no spark, at least not from my end. And he kind of struck me as controlling. Yeah. . .that would never work. He was also calling and texting me everyday and I couldn't always get back to him because I'm a busy girl. You know, with the 20 hours and all. Plus I don't want to do the distance thing.
Sunday I was supposed to drive to see him. However, I was $20 in the negative in my account with no signs of getting out. I flat out did not have the money to take a drive anywhere. Also, when I told my sister about him, she told me to get out ASAP. To quote her, "If he is getting this serious after one date, run Cheryl. Put my ex-husband's face on his body and yes, I think it's that serious." Nuff said.
I called ST and told him I couldn't make it and that I didn't think it would work out. I thought he wanted something more serious and I am not the girl to give that to him. Better not to lead him on.
He continued to call and text me for the next couple of days, wanting to talk. Lora and Katie kept joking that I had another stalker. He would have made 5 and that is just one too many stalkers for any human. I think I've had so many stalkers because I unknowingly encouraged their behavior by trying not to be too mean. Fuck that now. I'm going to be a bitch if it means having some peace in my life.
ST sent me a text a few days later saying he wished me luck and he was deleting my number. My reaction was one of relief. O thank God. Not another stalker. No more myspace guys.
Moving on. . .
CK still confuses me more and more every damn day. He calls me just to chat, which I'm totally cool with. I like talking to him. It's just. . .I don't know. The way he talks and acts around me. . .I get a vibe. His mouth says one thing but his actions and body language say another. I can say for certain that nothing will happen with CK. We are good friends and that's all he wants, or rather all he can handle. I just can't help feeling the vibe. Maybe it's all in my head.
I will confess, if something were to happen with CK I probably wouldn't say no. The only thing that would hold me back would be how he might feel the next day. He made a joke about us having a drunken night of "fun" together and how it might not be so bad. I went along with the joke but I thought to myself, no Cheryl. He would regret it and be weird about it the next morning. I think I could handle it (I've gotten good about shutting things off) but I don't think he could. I wish I could ask him and feel like I was getting a completely honest answer.
That's what I really need. Someone who I know is as honest and tactless as I am. Then I would feel like I could take everything at face value. I'll start taking applications Monday.