A Confession
I'm really, really nervous about going to Conventions. I added a "Gen Con Indianapolis" line to my budget for Facetime Continuum because I think it's something I should do, though I'm not entirely sure where I got that impression. Do I want to network; to see and be seen? Do I want to have a product ready for sale by then? Do I want to attend as an enthusiastic amateur? As a freelancer -assuming I scare up some work?
There's plenty to be anxious about up there, but what's really bothering me is the prospect of crowds. It's not that I'm claustrophobic. In the last year or so, I've started having weird physical reactions to crowds in enclosed spaces. For instance, I was hanging out in Tucker Lounge, maybe playing a game of Mafia that got a little out of control with side conversations. Something about the space and the noise of so many people talking at once was unpleasant, almost painful. It was like I was hearing with my jaw as well as my ears. Norah's farewell party in Brown had much the same effect. I find myself avoiding hanging out groups larger than about six at a time. Even concerts in small venues have started to bug me: Enter the Haggis at Jammin' Java -as fun as it was- was borderline, though Girlyman at the same location was fine. Other situations don't affect me at all: graduation was fantastic, as was watching fireworks on Navy Pier in Chicago with Elisabeth. The open-air nature of those two events makes me think my problem has more to do with spaces than crowds.
So: will the ceilings at the hotel convention center be high enough? Should I spend money on potentially being miserable for a long weekend? Or, in a nod to my concerns from first paragraph, should I bother going at all?
There's plenty to be anxious about up there, but what's really bothering me is the prospect of crowds. It's not that I'm claustrophobic. In the last year or so, I've started having weird physical reactions to crowds in enclosed spaces. For instance, I was hanging out in Tucker Lounge, maybe playing a game of Mafia that got a little out of control with side conversations. Something about the space and the noise of so many people talking at once was unpleasant, almost painful. It was like I was hearing with my jaw as well as my ears. Norah's farewell party in Brown had much the same effect. I find myself avoiding hanging out groups larger than about six at a time. Even concerts in small venues have started to bug me: Enter the Haggis at Jammin' Java -as fun as it was- was borderline, though Girlyman at the same location was fine. Other situations don't affect me at all: graduation was fantastic, as was watching fireworks on Navy Pier in Chicago with Elisabeth. The open-air nature of those two events makes me think my problem has more to do with spaces than crowds.
So: will the ceilings at the hotel convention center be high enough? Should I spend money on potentially being miserable for a long weekend? Or, in a nod to my concerns from first paragraph, should I bother going at all?