wow its been like years,,,

[zman23370]

so i start this entry feeling like i do not all the time but from time to time especially in the last year or so.  i dont really know how to start this because its hard for me to put my feelings down in writing.  i guess that whole feeling of loneliness has hit me again.  its been so long since i have even been on a date.  i mean i know i have physical downsides being short, somewhat overweight, maybe my race may come into factor, i know im not the most attractive guy.  but i really think i have a lot to offer.  its one of those things were i think that if someone gave me a chance to show my caring personality, my want to be happy and to make others happy, my desire to be around people and my disire to be accepted, i think that i would be a good person to be in a relationship with.  i met some cool people this week. some girls....not really sure if they were single or not  but i wasnt really thinkin about reallly anyways.  one of the girls there was pretty cool i guess i felt pretty comfertably talking with her, etc.  plus she was very beautiful too.  but shes quite a bit older than me so im guessing thats not really a possibility there...infact most of the people there were older than me.  i guess that makes me feel more apprenhensive about asking someone out cause i mean it is a pretty good age gap especially with the guy being younger.  i feel like im mature enough to date someone older than me but i think there is a stipulation about guys younger not being mature that keeps girls from dating guys younger than them.

but speaking of last night.  i met so many fun people to hang out with.  everyone was just so inviting and nice.  i guess for me i can be kinda shy around new people especially when the whole group i am with is practically new.  but i just felt so comfertable with everyone and i made a lot of awesome new friends.  it was definitely the highlight of my weekend.

i dunno right now im kinda down...kinda lonely i guess.  last night was lots of fun and i am thankful that i met such wonderful people but im just feelin kinda lonely tonight....blah

hope everyone is doing well