feel free to ignore.. im ranting again

Sep 13, 2005 20:02

so ive been having a bad couple of days but the thing that really sucks is that i dont really know why.. and yes i know i shouldnt let stuf get to me and that i get like this every now and then, this is this months depressed stage... I KNOW you dont hae to put that in the comments iv heard it before and it didnt help then either.

its just silly things, mostly my family at the point in time, especially amos hes got his whole im grumpy thing going on and he fails to act like a christian EVER and it bugs me. he seems to not care at all if he offends me or anyone else for that matter. it just makes me want to knock some sense into him, and yes i know that this is just a thing most teenagers go through but why do we!! we know that it happens yet we dont stop it its stupid. but of course if we did try and change it, it would fail. but still it gets on my nerves, the rudness grr! im sure i had some period where i was just horrible to my family and i was moody so yes i am a hypocrite but hey who isnt at some point in there lives. right now i just need to have a good moan and get everything out of my system.

its etting to me and that bugs me, that i let it, i know i get like this and i know it sucks when i get like this but yet i dont stop it, STUPID PERSONALITY FLAW! sometimes i just want to kick myself i really do.. or maybe get someone else to do it for me.... its easier that way.

i dont think it helps that im looking at my identity.. who i am and all that, it makes me see all my flaws and all the things that suck abut me... yeah sure i see the good things too, but sometimes i just feel like the bad outweighs the good. im not attention seeking when i say that i honestly think it sometimes and im writting it cos i think it... ive started to see this LJ as a diary.. i dont care who reads it i just need to get my feeling and stuff out of my head and think about them... and the way i do that best is writig them down. its like it just flows out of me into the keyboard.

so yeah im feeling a bit better cos im writing it down.. and dont worry il be happy by friday when i see you all... just cos il be seeing you all and that always makes me happy that and steves coming!

so anyway thats me done..
Previous post Next post
Up