(no subject)
Today was Christmas Eve, and it was actually a pretty good day. I made it to work at a semi-normal time for the first time in well over month. I was only 5 minutes late! Granted, I tried to get up at 7am and go in hours early, so there is still work to be done. But not strolling in half an hour late because you stare at the ceiling for 10 minutes after waking up, trying to find the motivation to do ANYTHING is progress.
I also didn't give two shits about work today. I'm not sure if this is progress or not, but I feel like alot of my stress, anger and general unhappiness at work has been the result of transference. This is 100% amateur psycho-nonsense, but I think I've been taking the stress and misery of the dad situation and dumping it on everything and everyone at work. There have been holiday seasons that were just as bad and rugged as this one, but in none of them have I been so mad all the time. So given that, I feel that not being stressed at all is another step in the right direction.
Tomorrow is Christmas morning, and while it's going to be super sad without him, I think I'm going to be able to deal with it. And if I can't, I'll be getting drunk with my brother later that night. Huzzah. I'm hoping for a somewhat regular day with some presents, laughs, food and hopefully a solid nap. I'll be bummed out at some point, I know, but if I can minimize that time frame I can do ok. Here's to hoping.
Love you dad.
I also didn't give two shits about work today. I'm not sure if this is progress or not, but I feel like alot of my stress, anger and general unhappiness at work has been the result of transference. This is 100% amateur psycho-nonsense, but I think I've been taking the stress and misery of the dad situation and dumping it on everything and everyone at work. There have been holiday seasons that were just as bad and rugged as this one, but in none of them have I been so mad all the time. So given that, I feel that not being stressed at all is another step in the right direction.
Tomorrow is Christmas morning, and while it's going to be super sad without him, I think I'm going to be able to deal with it. And if I can't, I'll be getting drunk with my brother later that night. Huzzah. I'm hoping for a somewhat regular day with some presents, laughs, food and hopefully a solid nap. I'll be bummed out at some point, I know, but if I can minimize that time frame I can do ok. Here's to hoping.
Love you dad.