[DC Comics] A Normal Weekend

[ziriffic]

Title: A Normal Weekend
Fandom: DC Comics
Relationship: Dick Grayson + Wally West (friendship); Tim Drake + Bart Allen (friendship)
Summary: Dick and Wally wanted to have a normal weekend vacation to see the sights and enjoy Boston's culture. Bart and Tim wanted to go college touring for just one weekend and experience life as normal teenagers. ... Unfortunately for all four of them, they chose to visit the same city. Together. On the same weekend. The Fates had never hated them this much.
Disclaimer: Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Wally West, Bart Allen, etc. belong to DC Comics. Strega belongs to its lovely owner in Boston, and basically? The only thing I own is the plot.

This year, things were going to be different. Wally always said this about his annual vacation with Dick, but he actually meant it this time! Sure, their trip was only for a weekend - it was all they could spare, what with the world going crazy when their backs were turned - and chaos usually followed them to their every destination. (Ha, that would be the last time they went to New Orleans! ... Okay, so maybe Wally went once with Linda after their wedding. Once! The only trouble they had was the beignet line at Cafe du Monde!)

From the moment he walked into the Wayne mansion, Wally could immediately sense the eminent chaos.

"Master Damian! What did we say about doing that again?"

One red, yellow, and green blur nearly sped past Wally. Instinctively, the speedster held his arms out to catch the blur. In milliseconds, Wally pushed himself against the wall to contain a squirming, bratty Damian Wayne.

"Jeez," Wally whistled as he disarmed the kid. "You'd think that you would have a little more respect for the stuff in here."

The kid narrowed his eyes at Wally, "You wouldn't have respect either if you remembered what the Europeans did to my people. The metal from that suit of armor came from the sweat and blood of my ancestors..."

Immediately dropping the kid on the floor, Wally stared at him. "... Ooookay then."(What was it about bratty half pints and their ability to remember history better than he ever could?)

"So I see you and Damian're acquainted," A man laughed as he casually walked past the running Damian. "Sorry you two had to meet like this."

"It's fine," Wally casually dismissed the apology with his hand. "Sounds like the place needed this kind of noise anyway."

"You're probably right," The guy remarked, now taking a gray and blue suitcase from the wall. "So, you all ready to go?"

"Course I am," Wally grinned. Patting his friend on the back, the two walked out of the mansion together. "I've been waiting for this trip all month. Can't believe you actually let me plan this one, Dick."

"What can I say," Dick grinned as he threw the suitcase into the back of the car. As he inspected the car one last time - trust Dick Grayson to rent them a BMW for the weekend - he then asked, "So what made you think visiting Boston would be fun?"

"Besides the baseball games? Uh, I don't know... Linda said it was a great walking city, and we needed the break anyway, right?" Wally shrugged as he jumped into the passenger seat. "It was either this or Disney World. And uh, I kinda heard about that disaster already."

"I wouldn't call it a disaster persay," Dick visibly cringed. "But let's just say we almost got put on restraining orders. All of us."

Wally made a face, "That is a first. Only you Bats would somehow manage that without any help whatsoever."

Now sliding into the driver's seat, Dick comfortably backed out of the driveway and onto the somewhat empty streets of the suburbs. Shrugging, Dick sighed, "I heard you and Bart went through something similar when you went to Sea World...?"

"Bart convinced Iris and Jai that the Free Willy show actually freed Willy," Wally groaned. "You can pretty much guess what happened from there."

Dick couldn't help it; he immediately burst into laughter as he turned onto the highway. As the car sped to catch up with the others around them, Dick adjusted his rearview mirror and sheepishly replied, "On the upside... at least you guys don't have to ever go again?"

Wally nearly slapped his best friend, "Uh-huh. Very funny."

Had it really been that long? Both men casually exchanged glances and smiled as Wally turned up the radio and let the music blare. So far, so great! Maybe, just maybe, they'd have a normal trip together without any of the usual "business chaos" that seemed to follow them.

"So, tell me Bart... why on earth are we in Boston?"

It was a harmless question and Bart knew it as he looked at his best friend. Normally, if Bart wanted his friends to visit him, he dragged them back to Alabama. But this visit was different. Instead of showing Tim around Birmingham, Bart figured he should squeeze in a couple of visits to "prestigious institutions" that only a genius like Tim could love.

Bart sheepishly shrugged, "You hadn't noticed by now? Come on, Tim! We're college touring."

Tim cringed, "... College touring."

"Well, you always said you wanted to go to Harvard... and MIT's just around the corner," Bart grinned. "Plus! There's Boston College, Tufts, Brandeis... the list is kind of endless."

As the two continued to meander the streets of downtown Boston, Bart couldn't help adding, "Plus we should try and sneak onto the all-girl colleges. I hear they're very cool."

Playfully punching Bart's shoulder, Tim sighed, "Did Kon tell you about that last one?"

"What?" Bart laughed, "He said you'd love it!"

Only Bart - and only Bart, Tim realized - could somehow manage to turn a college touring visit into something he would never want to repeat again. Sure, Tim had visited colleges in the past with his parents, but ever since Bruce had died... well, it was something he hadn't really thought about recently.

Maybe that was why Bart had suggested Kid Flash and Red Robin should take a break this weekend. Come visit some colleges, see what kind of food Boston had to offer, and maybe - just maybe - find some normalcy in all of this chaos.

"Hey, you know Wally and Dick're out of town this weekend too," Tim suddenly recalled. "Maybe we should call them once we're done touring and see how they're handling things."

As they walked to a hot dog vendor, Bart could only shrug, "I guess. Iiiiii don't really think I wanna talk to him after our adventure at Seaworld."

"Cissie already told me," Tim laughed as he pulled out his wallet. Paying for their hot dogs (Bart immediately offered his thanks), Tim then added, "I heard Iris and Jai were quite disappointed when they almost didn't get to ride on Atlantis."

"They were heartbroken," Bart motioned with his hands, "So I figured I should step in and make everything okay again."

"Except not."

"Okay," Bart playfully pushed Tim as the two received their lunch, "That was totally uncalled for, considering I've like, what, saved your butt like a million times?"

"Now that's just exaggerating."

As Bart stared at Tim - his laughing, cheerful mess of a best friend - he couldn't help realizing that he had missed seeing his friend smile. Laughing, joking, the whole nine yards! It seemed to go out the window when Bruce had died, and even though Bart couldn't blame Tim.... his best friend had taken everything to an unhealthy level. It was like he had been converted to the Dark Side! Without cookies!

Tim blinked, "Bart? Are... you okay?"

"Yeah," Bart cheerfully replied as he bit into his hot dog. In-between bites, he reassured his friend, "Never been better! So how about that visit to Tufts?"

Nodding, Tim too started to eat, "Sure. Might as well since we're here."

Boston was the kind of city both boys could easily get themselves lost in, Tim noted as the two nearly escaped the chaos of the roving crowds. For Bart, it was the baseball games, the excitement of the crowds, and generally just the life of the city... whereas Tim preferred the museums, the history, the reenactments of classic events of way-back-when. It had a little something for everyone.

Even if this weekend would turn into a living hell for some reason or another, Tim could at least hope it'd be a fun hell.

Five hours and three goats and two cows later (the interstate was not very good when it came to escaped livestock), Wally and Dick finally arrived at their hotel. It was a quiet bed and breakfast not too far from the city, and the men both knew they'd enjoy living in a place that was part of American history (well... if it didn't eat them first or something). Wally protested against it at first ("what if zombies live there? ... Or aliens!"), but Dick's insistence had worn him down... and before he knew it, Wally had somehow managed to book two rooms there for the weekend.

Resigning himself to his fate, Wally hopped out of the car and unloaded the luggage. Dick didn't even get a chance to help - by the time he climbed out, Wally had already put everything at the foot of the stairs.

"You know," Wally chuckled as the two men walked inside, "Those poor goats had no idea what they were doing on the road."

Dick smiled, "I felt worse for the cows. They were just standing there."

The hotel clerk greeted them with a smile as she took their luggage, "So you two encountered livestock on your way over?"

"More like the livestock caused a traffic jam," Wally explained as Dick and the clerk went through the check-in routine. "Poor things didn't know they were shish kabobs. Thankfully the Flash was in the area, right?"

"Thank god," Dick sighed as he received their room keys. Handing one to Wally, Dick then took one suitcase and walked towards his bedroom with his friend. "I don't know what I would have done without him! Oh, the torture of living my life as a normal human being..."

"Why Dick," Wally playfully punched his friend's shoulder once they reached the top of the stairs, "If I didn't know better, I'd say that was sarcasm."

They both exchanged glances before bursting out into laughter. Their weekend hadn't even started and they were still laughing over incredibly stupid things... it was like they were kids again.

"Okay, so we'll go ahead and meet up later for that concert?"

"Sounds good to me," Dick nodded. "I know you'll be done early, so you can do whatever you want until I'm ready to head out."

Wally gave his friend the thumbs-up, "Got it."

They were just about to head into their respective rooms when both of them heard clamoring footsteps. Two teenagers - whoever they were - were being quite noisy as they ran up quicker and quicker with each step.

"Hah!" One was saying to another. "I can still beat you even when I'm going slow!"

"Come on, Bart," The other one protested, "That's not even---"

The four - Wally, Dick, and the teenagers - all stared at each other.

"DICK?"

"TIM?"

"WALLY?"

"BART?"

Not even five seconds passed before they all then cried, "What're you doing here?!"

Oh god no, no, no, no, no, this was not the way to kick off their college tour weekend. Tim narrowed his eyes as he stared at the unsuspecting Dick - poor guy, what was he doing here? - and completely bewildered Wally. Bart, on the other hand, was just being moody as he crossed his arms and proceeded to sulk in the nearest corner.

"So you and Wally are on your annual vacation," Tim grasped at straws for some kind of decent conversation, "What've you seen so far?"

"Two cows, three goats, and a good tour of the Interstate," Wally piped up, blowing his bangs out of his hair. "That's really it."

Bart and Tim exchanged nervous glances before Tim finally offered, "... So you just got here?"

"Pretty much," Dick confirmed. "The Flash dealt with the cows since the police had no idea what to do with them."

Bart snickered, "Cows... Even when you guys go out of town, you don't get a break, do you?"

"Doesn't look like it," Wally admitted, rubbing his temples. "So what were you guys here for?"

"We're college touring," Bart explained as he stood up and walked towards Wally. "Harvard, MIT, Tufts, Brandeis, the whole nine yards."

Wally raised an eyebrow at Bart, "... You are aware Brandeis is a Jewish school, right?"

"Of course!" Bart grinned, giving the thumbs up at his mentor, "Come on. Everyone knows the Jews have the best parties and the best food. I am not missing out on that."

Dick snickered, "Yeah, I'd hate to miss all those wild college parties." His face softened, though, as he gently patted Tim's shoulder, "So college touring? Sounds... kind of normal, actually."

"I know," Tim smiled, reaching for Dick's wrist, "I've been enjoying it so far."

Pumping his fist, Bart grinned, "Yes! I knew it'd happen! Pay up."

Wally groaned as he reached for his wallet and pulled out five dollars. Bart all too gleefully put the money in his pocket. (Wait. Did they just--- they bet money on Tim's next smile in public?!) The two men - or really, one man and a teenager - continued to exchange weird faces for the next minute or so before some random patron wove past them in the hallway. She then turned to face the four and gently smiled at them.

"You men are so wonderful," She beamed.

Dick blinked, "Thank... you?"

"I mean, for bringing your sons out here! Father-Son Bonding Experiences are wonderful!" With that, she cheerfully left before any of them could get a word in edgewise.

Tim stared, "Wait... so Dick got promoted to my dad now?"

"I... think so," Bart blinked. "Waiiiit, does this mean Wally's my dad?"

Wally stepped back, waving his arms wildly, "Nuh-huh. I've already got twins."

"And the kid who convinced them to Free Willy," Dick pointed out. "I think you can handle one more."

"Says the guy who got promoted from Tim's brother to Tim's dad in milliseconds."

Dick shrugged, "So? It's not like I'm actually--- Oh."

"Yeah," Wally nodded emphatically. "Oh."

Tim mouthed something to Bart, who could only shrug in reply. Moments of awkward silence followed before Dick finally decided to head towards his room. "Hey," He apologized. "We've got to freshen up. But we'll meet up with you for dinner?"

"Sounds good," Bart nodded. "Have any place in mind?"

"How about that place... Strega?" Wally shrugged. "Dick and I have reservations there anyway."

"We'll meet you there at...?"

"Seven Thirty," Dick waved. "Go have fun."

After what was probably the most awkward conversation they'd had in perhaps weeks, Tim, Bart, Wally, and Dick finally went their separate ways. Wally should have figured: the cows on the interstate were only signs of what should hopefully prove to be one of the most awkward vacations he had ever taken with Dick Grayson.

Strega played mafia movies. Bart honestly didn't remember that much about the dinner, but Strega had nothing but mafia movies. Even Tim had to admit, "That was kind of cool." The food was great - of course - but the mafia movies more than made up for their crappy day.

Well, kinda crappy: Tufts had been a cool place to explore. They'd ventured to Brandeis next, and were just about to head to Boston College before they ran into Wally and Dick. Well, Tim supposed, he probably wasn't going to attend that school anyway.

Italian food somehow brought everything to the surface. Bart confessed the "Free Willy" story to Tim and Dick - Wally, as one of the witnesses, remembered every little detail too well - just as Dick casually retold some jokes he'd heard from some of his new clients.

It wasn't a bad dinner, but it wasn't the best one ever either. Tim could feel the awkward tension in the air, no doubt from the woman who believed they were father-son pairs on a family bonding trip. In a way, they kind of were... two groups of guys who wanted to hang out together. They just happened to pick the same weekend. In the same city. In the same bed-and-breakfast hotel. What were the odds?

"Did you ever catch the name of that crazy lady?" Bart finally asked. "Because I wanted to, and they wouldn't let me for 'privacy reasons'..."

"Her name is Chloe Sullivan," Wally answered, "And she's a journalist for the Daily Planet doing some article on Boston life."

Dick blinked, "How'd you get the staff to tell you?"

"I didn't," Wally made a face as he plunged into his lasagna, "She told me. Said I reminded her of her boyfriend Jimmy."

"Huh," Tim blinked. "That... was kind of random."

Truth be told, this whole day was random. Come visit colleges, meet up with your old mentor, and no one's out to kill him for some reason or another. Hang up the cape for a couple of days - even for just twenty-four hours! - and the most trouble they encountered were three cows on the interstate and Miss Chloe Sullivan.

As he finished his penne pasta, Tim couldn't help listening to the conversations Bart and Dick and Wally had. They were part of their own world now - a world that didn't necessarily enjoy living life in solitude - and it was more than refreshing. Before he realized it, Tim found himself living in that world too. Funny, he was enjoying every moment of it.

Dick and Wally happily paid for dinner - much to Bart's pleasure - and Bart and Tim in return treated their mentors to a fabulous gelato dessert.

They walked back to the bed and breakfast, gelato cones in hand, and continued to idly chat about stupid, random things like Bart's old girlfriend Carol (apparently she was now attending Wellesley?) and those Twilight movies (no one knew why they discussed it either).

A cart of live chickens greeted them on one of the side streets on their journey back. Bart took one long look at the chickens before he groaned, "I'll handle it. What is it with people and escaped livestock?"

Before anyone else could protest, Kid Flash reappeared on the scene and easily returned the chickens to the flustered truck driver. The car again zoomed towards its destination within minutes, and Bart easily caught up to the group once more.

"Did that take long?" Bart grinned as he took his gelato cone back from his best friend.

Tim shook his head, "Not really, but you have to wonder about the livestock."

"I think God's out to get us, personally," Wally made a face as he threw his empty cups of gelato away. "Come on... goats? Cows? Chickens? What's next--"

"Don't," Dick advised him. "I really don't want to meet what's next."

Bart nodded in agreement as they finally reached the bed and breakfast, "Agreed. I'd stick around and chat, but we've got three colleges to hit tomorrow. We'll catch up later?"

"Will do," Wally patted him on the shoulder, "... Shamu."

Bart nearly punched Wally, "I thought I told you not to call me that!"

Tim took one look at his best friend before going inside ahead of the speedster. Dick followed him in, and as the two walked upstairs, the silence that followed wasn't awkward. For once, Tim actually felt like he was home again... despite being in a city he didn't even know with people he wouldn't normally vacation with.

"They were going to take forever," Tim belatedly explained once they were at the top of the stairs.

Dick nodded, "The irony."

They sat down on the top of the staircase. Tim sighed, "... I'm sorry. For everything."

"You had your reasons," Dick noted. Smiling at his almost-brother, he then responded, "I wouldn't worry about apologizing. You're here now, right? This weekend is yours to enjoy. I'd spend every moment of it well."

"Thanks."

Rising from his position, Dick held a hand out to Tim. Hesitation swept in, and Tim took nearly a minute to accept the offer. Maybe this weekend wouldn't be so bad after all. The living hell he had been promised never quite came. All things considered? Tomorrow looked like it would be amazing.

As he unlocked his room for the second time that day, Tim continued to let the positive thoughts build. It would be perfect! Okay, maybe not perfect--- but almost quite as perfect, if not more hilarious than usual.

That was when he noticed the giant, stuffed llama in his room. Tim twitched before he threw the thing straight into the hallway.

"What is it with this weekend and livestock?"

Okay, so maybe he took that back: his weekend would always - unfortunately - be as chaotic as ever.