Beware of emotional rapids in the river of life
Sometimes, I'm floating along enjoying what life brings me and really feeling like I want to be in the moment. Then, bam. Shit hits the fan. I round the bend of this beautiful serene river of life and stare into the ripping rapids ahead. Before I even have time to react I'm in them, trying to keep my boat from tipping, trying not to crash into a huge rock, and trying to steer myself to the calmest places I can. Here is a situation where I don't want to be present, I don't want to deal with this fight that is currently presenting itself to me. Yet, I must, because I'm here already and the only way to get out is to get through it intact. Here I am present out of necessity and not out of pleasure. Being present and in the now is not always for pleasure.
There's been a lot that has happened in the past few weeks and I think it is all now just coming to a head. I am almost out of the worst of the rapids, thankfully, but there are still some that I must traverse before I can get to calmer waters. Many thanks to my life jackets and life supports out there--Dhana, Laurie, Beth, Cael, and many more that are more silent but just as present.
I am done with farming. I am most importantly done with the drama and toxicity that was there. I am thankful for the chance to learn and grow. I do not wish them ill, but I will not in good conscience send anyone else there to work or to buy from them. I'm done being treated like crap and I'm ready to take living to the next level. I'm no longer "surviving", I am moving into "thriving".
I will heal myself from all emotional turmoil and upset through simple things like music, grass in my toes, warm tea, writing, and laughing. I will take things moment by moment, relish in the good and let the bad pass through.
There's been a lot that has happened in the past few weeks and I think it is all now just coming to a head. I am almost out of the worst of the rapids, thankfully, but there are still some that I must traverse before I can get to calmer waters. Many thanks to my life jackets and life supports out there--Dhana, Laurie, Beth, Cael, and many more that are more silent but just as present.
I am done with farming. I am most importantly done with the drama and toxicity that was there. I am thankful for the chance to learn and grow. I do not wish them ill, but I will not in good conscience send anyone else there to work or to buy from them. I'm done being treated like crap and I'm ready to take living to the next level. I'm no longer "surviving", I am moving into "thriving".
I will heal myself from all emotional turmoil and upset through simple things like music, grass in my toes, warm tea, writing, and laughing. I will take things moment by moment, relish in the good and let the bad pass through.