The Burning Man 2006 write up
This is the extended write up of some of my experiences at Burning Man this year. I don’t expect most people to read the whole thing; a lot of the detail is just for me to remember it by. Just for fun, and to make it easy to read in more than one sitting, I’ve labeled the various stories with a few headings. See if you can spot the themes.
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This was a fantastic year, second only to 2002, which set a pretty high bar for all kinds of amazing goodness. The art was good this year, and the weather was good, not too hot, not much wind or dust compared to some years, etc. But what really set this year apart for me was the awesomeness of the camp. We had a lot of new people camping with us this year and the integration was as smooth as it’s ever been. The newbies were welcomed with open arms; great friendships were forged. Everyone pitched in to help, there was zero drama, and everyone kept an amazingly good attitude, even in the face of minor adversity. It was truly a great camp. Thank you to everyone for such a great experience.
Lessons: Temple Request
Before going this year, I asked a friend who hasn’t been yet if she wanted any proxy action at the temple. She asked me to write about growth and freedom for everyone, and draw flowers blooming or wings spreading, or something like that.
Lessons: Choosing Intensity
I almost didn’t go to burning man this year. The last few were hard and not as much fun as some before that. What got me excited again was the opportunity to take on some different, potentially more intense, rangering work. I chose it because I felt like it was time to elevate my contribution and the level of my experience.
Tuesday I had a ranger shift that was really difficult. Spent a few hours helping a participant who was having a Very Bad Week. I was OK in the moment, but had a rough time immediately after, and was crying a bit while writing up the report about what had happened to this person. Thinking about it led me to a few realizations. No matter what we do, Bad Things will still happen. Being able to be the right person and able to help in those times is a Very Good Thing, a real contribution. I also realized that I _want_ to have intense emotional experiences at Burning Man. I spend enough time avoiding intense emotions, and Burning Man is the place to _feel_ intensely; if I’m not feeling anything here than I’m doing something wrong. That was helpful in setting the tone for the week.
Fun: Ice Cream!
On wednesday a friend walked into camp and said “They’re giving away ice cream in front of center camp. You should go check it out.” A few of us walked out and indeed, there was an unmarked 15” truck full of brown, gallon boxes of ice cream. There were two tables set up in front of the truck, and a dozen people scooping as fast as people could walk up. They had paper bowls and wooden spoons (both burnable), and were proactively collecting garbage when people were done. There was no branding of any kind in evidence, but the lines for each flavor were marked with hand-written cardboard signs that said things like “New York Super Fudge Chunk,” and “Cookie Dough,” and “Cherry Garcia.” Most of the servers were in their 20s, but one was clearly in his 60s. Someone pointed him out and said “That’s _Ben_.” “That’s… Ben?” “Yep. Ben.” I walked up, he scooped me a scoop of whatever flavor, and I thanked him, and shook his clean, non-scooping hand. I invited him to dinner at our camp that night, and he said “Oh, thank you, but I can’t. You see, I have all of these people with me,” as he gestured to the row of servers, “and I couldn’t possibly bring that many guests to your dinner.” He wasn’t interested in being a celebrity guest and not bringing his staff with him. Very cool. Very classy. Really well executed as a good gift to the event. A great example of abundance.
Lessons: Choosing to let go
Early in the week, probably Wednesday evening, I chose to let go. Typically at burning man I find myself trying to figure out how to have the experiences that I think I want or need. Burning Man isn’t the best place for an intellectual approach; frequently it doesn’t work and leads to frustration on the part of the seeker. A wise campmate has labeled this phenomenon “Yearning Man.” Sometimes I’m a slow learner; this year it dawned on me how to experience the event in a different way. I chose to let go of my hopes an expectations about what would happen, and to just let the serendipity have its way with me. My wanderings led me to people and experiences that were good for me, much better than if I’d gone looking. For all of my talk about serendipity, it sure took me a long time to really let it work.
Fun: Swedish Fish
Midweek, taoskye gave me a bag of Swedish Fish. She knows the history and significance to me of Swedish Fish at BM. It made me feel loved. Thank you.
Lessons, Serendipity: The Hermit
On Thursday night I put on flannel jammies and my fleece bathrobe to go wander around. This year I bought a battery powered coleman lantern, and I decided to carry that for light. I joked with my (particularly insightful, empathic, spiritual) campmate Dakota that I should get a stick with a crook in the end and use that to carry my lantern. She immediately said “You have a lot of hermit in you. People don’t notice, because they see you when you’re being social, but the hermit is there. A hermit has to go away to learn, to seek enlightenment [hence the walking with a lantern], or do intellectual work. Then they can bring that back.” I was struck by her insight. Going into hermit mode was very literally what allowed me to write both my undergraduate and graduate theses.
A year before, I’d been riding around the inner playa on a very sunny day. I got hot, or the wind came up, and I parked my bike and sat in the shade and lee of a plywood box around a generator, about 100’ from the art project it was powering. A woman rode by, stopped her bike, fanned a deck at me and said “Pick a card.” It was a Tarot deck and I pulled The Hermit. She said “There you are, the hermit, sitting out here all by yourself!”, then jumped on her bike and rode away. I was mildly amused at the time. When I got home this year I dug out that hermit card. I intend to embrace my hermit more often. It’s good for me once in a while.
It’s also a good way for me to cleanse my social life. When I returned to being social after being “away” working on my thesis, I didn’t resume all of the social interactions that I went away from. There seem to be a lot of people doing similar things in various ways lately.
Serendipity, Fun: Kiss?
Thursday night when wandering with my lantern, I was looking for the unlit entrance to a friend’s camp. I got distracted by a very lovely, curvy woman walking by with a parasol edged in christmas lights. We made eye contact for a moment as we passed. I kept walking, then realized that with the distraction I’d missed the entrance to the camp I was looking for, and turned around. She had also turned, and was walking back towards me. She said in a very cute, authentic British accent, “Did you come back for the kiss, Love?” Not being stupid, I replied “How did you know?” She said something about just being able to tell, we embraced, and proceeded to make out for a few moments. We parted, thanked each other, and she turned, rejoined her friends, and traipsed off into the night. I didn’t see her again.
Misc: My Brother
One regret from this year is that I didn’t get to spend much time with my brother. He’d been there since mid-July, working for DPW. I’d asked around for him a bit, but didn’t find him. He came by camp late Wednesday when I was out, and then again Friday during the day when I finally saw him for the first time. We hung out for about 15 minutes. He told me that he was going to be back in Center Camp at 7 that night to see a musician play. I went looking for him at that show, but didn’t find him there, and didn’t see him at all for the rest of the week.
Lessons: Cat’s Cradle
Friday night, my friend Joyce and I were wandering around looking at art and came upon the Cat’s Cradle. After a few minutes of enviously watching the other climbers, I left my bag with her and climbed in.
I made it from the center up the tall hand side fairly easily (my feet are probably five or six feet off the ground in that photo), and then returned down to the web in the center.
As I was moving towards the other hand I lost my balance. I didn’t exactly fall, so much as recline sideways in slow motion, as the cords my feet were on went one way and the cords I was holding went the other way. I righted myself and tried again, and again, lost my balance in the same manner.
At that point I thought “oh well, game over” and just let go… I slid backwards, headfirst, down through the web and came to rest gently on my back, entirely outside the web except for my feet, which were still slightly tangled about a yard off the ground. A woman standing there said “That just birthed you right out, didn’t it!” Joyce came around from the far side and said “From where I was standing it looked like you were reborn just now.”
I’m not sure what the lesson there is, but it seems too good a symbolism to pass up. Something about letting go and it all working out OK, I suppose.
Lessons: The Burn Circle
I love rangering the burn circle perimeter saturday night when the man burns. It’s one of my favorite parts of rangering. This year, for a variety of reasons, I chose to work outside of the burn circle instead, doing random ranger things behind the crowds while the man burned. Mostly the choice was about trying something new, letting go of what was familiar and fun and seeing what the alternative experience had to offer. All in all it was a good enough shift, and I actually got to watch the man burn for the first time in 5 years. Not bad, but not nearly as fun as working the burn circle. It turned out, for reasons related to the man’s construction, the burn circle was rough this year. rwx told me later that it would have been valuable to have had me working inside, which was nice to hear. I’m glad I tried something different this year, and next year I’ll be back in the circle again.
Lessons: The Temple
On Sunday I went out and did my usual Sunday visit to the temple. I wrote, in green sharpie:
"This has been a year of not-knowing, of giving up expectations, choosing fulfillment and an unknown path of greater reward.
This is for everyone constrained by fear and comfort and the safety of the known. Letting go is scary and amazing."
It was a much less emotional visit to the temple than previous years, probably because I’d done a lot of emotional processing and releasing earlier in the week.
Lessons: The Seattle Temple Burn
I wasn’t planning on working the burn perimeter for the Seattle Memorial Temple. The temple never quite felt like it was mine. It was there for the grief of others, and I didn’t want to impose or claim to be part of something or feeling something just to participate. So I wasn’t considering working the perimeter for that burn. rwx said “you should be there, working the perimeter.” I hemmed and hawed and he said “Be there at 7.” So I went out there at 7.
It was a really gorgeous, intimate, beautiful little burn. I was very glad to be there with and for my Seattle family, for the many people I knew who had been affected by the killings, and who had built the temple. I was totally fine for the ceremony, the lighting and the most of the burning of the temple. Rock solid stable. Then they threw the door on, the door from the house with a 3” shotgun blast hole through the middle of it. And as the door hit the fire I totally lost it, burst into tears, and watched others around me start crying at that same moment. As it burned I cried and hugged and held friends on both sides of me. I did a lot more hugging and holding as the crowd drifted and eventually dissipated and I ran into more friends as I walked around.
It was really good for me to be there. I’m glad I went, despite my initial reservations. Thank you rwx for being the insistent agent of the universe who got me there.
Serendipity: Coke
Sunday night after the various burns, I was walking back to the city with Squishelle and we passed a burn platform where people were hanging out. A friend of mine named Chris and a friend of his had set up a bar on a folding table. While we were chatting with them, a woman came by on a bike and offered them a can of coke. "Do you want this as a mixer? Someone gave it to me and I don't drink coke." Chris said sure, she put the can on the table, and rode off. So the bar had a can of coke. Not 2 minutes later, a couple came up and Chris asked what they'd like to drink. The first thing they said is "Do you have a coke? For a rum and coke or something?" And he did. I love that.
Lessons, Serendipity: Butterfly
As we were packing up the last few items to leave, a butterfly flew by. This is rare in a place that’s so dry you usually only seen insects that come in with your produce, or a few indigenous praying mantises. The event was closer to the edge of the desert this year, so there were a few more bugs than usual, but I’ve never seen a butterfly on the playa before. It followed us to the one stop we had to make as we left. A very auspicious sign of transformation, freedom, and spreading ones wings.
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This was a fantastic year, second only to 2002, which set a pretty high bar for all kinds of amazing goodness. The art was good this year, and the weather was good, not too hot, not much wind or dust compared to some years, etc. But what really set this year apart for me was the awesomeness of the camp. We had a lot of new people camping with us this year and the integration was as smooth as it’s ever been. The newbies were welcomed with open arms; great friendships were forged. Everyone pitched in to help, there was zero drama, and everyone kept an amazingly good attitude, even in the face of minor adversity. It was truly a great camp. Thank you to everyone for such a great experience.
Lessons: Temple Request
Before going this year, I asked a friend who hasn’t been yet if she wanted any proxy action at the temple. She asked me to write about growth and freedom for everyone, and draw flowers blooming or wings spreading, or something like that.
Lessons: Choosing Intensity
I almost didn’t go to burning man this year. The last few were hard and not as much fun as some before that. What got me excited again was the opportunity to take on some different, potentially more intense, rangering work. I chose it because I felt like it was time to elevate my contribution and the level of my experience.
Tuesday I had a ranger shift that was really difficult. Spent a few hours helping a participant who was having a Very Bad Week. I was OK in the moment, but had a rough time immediately after, and was crying a bit while writing up the report about what had happened to this person. Thinking about it led me to a few realizations. No matter what we do, Bad Things will still happen. Being able to be the right person and able to help in those times is a Very Good Thing, a real contribution. I also realized that I _want_ to have intense emotional experiences at Burning Man. I spend enough time avoiding intense emotions, and Burning Man is the place to _feel_ intensely; if I’m not feeling anything here than I’m doing something wrong. That was helpful in setting the tone for the week.
Fun: Ice Cream!
On wednesday a friend walked into camp and said “They’re giving away ice cream in front of center camp. You should go check it out.” A few of us walked out and indeed, there was an unmarked 15” truck full of brown, gallon boxes of ice cream. There were two tables set up in front of the truck, and a dozen people scooping as fast as people could walk up. They had paper bowls and wooden spoons (both burnable), and were proactively collecting garbage when people were done. There was no branding of any kind in evidence, but the lines for each flavor were marked with hand-written cardboard signs that said things like “New York Super Fudge Chunk,” and “Cookie Dough,” and “Cherry Garcia.” Most of the servers were in their 20s, but one was clearly in his 60s. Someone pointed him out and said “That’s _Ben_.” “That’s… Ben?” “Yep. Ben.” I walked up, he scooped me a scoop of whatever flavor, and I thanked him, and shook his clean, non-scooping hand. I invited him to dinner at our camp that night, and he said “Oh, thank you, but I can’t. You see, I have all of these people with me,” as he gestured to the row of servers, “and I couldn’t possibly bring that many guests to your dinner.” He wasn’t interested in being a celebrity guest and not bringing his staff with him. Very cool. Very classy. Really well executed as a good gift to the event. A great example of abundance.
Lessons: Choosing to let go
Early in the week, probably Wednesday evening, I chose to let go. Typically at burning man I find myself trying to figure out how to have the experiences that I think I want or need. Burning Man isn’t the best place for an intellectual approach; frequently it doesn’t work and leads to frustration on the part of the seeker. A wise campmate has labeled this phenomenon “Yearning Man.” Sometimes I’m a slow learner; this year it dawned on me how to experience the event in a different way. I chose to let go of my hopes an expectations about what would happen, and to just let the serendipity have its way with me. My wanderings led me to people and experiences that were good for me, much better than if I’d gone looking. For all of my talk about serendipity, it sure took me a long time to really let it work.
Fun: Swedish Fish
Midweek, taoskye gave me a bag of Swedish Fish. She knows the history and significance to me of Swedish Fish at BM. It made me feel loved. Thank you.
Lessons, Serendipity: The Hermit
On Thursday night I put on flannel jammies and my fleece bathrobe to go wander around. This year I bought a battery powered coleman lantern, and I decided to carry that for light. I joked with my (particularly insightful, empathic, spiritual) campmate Dakota that I should get a stick with a crook in the end and use that to carry my lantern. She immediately said “You have a lot of hermit in you. People don’t notice, because they see you when you’re being social, but the hermit is there. A hermit has to go away to learn, to seek enlightenment [hence the walking with a lantern], or do intellectual work. Then they can bring that back.” I was struck by her insight. Going into hermit mode was very literally what allowed me to write both my undergraduate and graduate theses.
A year before, I’d been riding around the inner playa on a very sunny day. I got hot, or the wind came up, and I parked my bike and sat in the shade and lee of a plywood box around a generator, about 100’ from the art project it was powering. A woman rode by, stopped her bike, fanned a deck at me and said “Pick a card.” It was a Tarot deck and I pulled The Hermit. She said “There you are, the hermit, sitting out here all by yourself!”, then jumped on her bike and rode away. I was mildly amused at the time. When I got home this year I dug out that hermit card. I intend to embrace my hermit more often. It’s good for me once in a while.
It’s also a good way for me to cleanse my social life. When I returned to being social after being “away” working on my thesis, I didn’t resume all of the social interactions that I went away from. There seem to be a lot of people doing similar things in various ways lately.
Serendipity, Fun: Kiss?
Thursday night when wandering with my lantern, I was looking for the unlit entrance to a friend’s camp. I got distracted by a very lovely, curvy woman walking by with a parasol edged in christmas lights. We made eye contact for a moment as we passed. I kept walking, then realized that with the distraction I’d missed the entrance to the camp I was looking for, and turned around. She had also turned, and was walking back towards me. She said in a very cute, authentic British accent, “Did you come back for the kiss, Love?” Not being stupid, I replied “How did you know?” She said something about just being able to tell, we embraced, and proceeded to make out for a few moments. We parted, thanked each other, and she turned, rejoined her friends, and traipsed off into the night. I didn’t see her again.
Misc: My Brother
One regret from this year is that I didn’t get to spend much time with my brother. He’d been there since mid-July, working for DPW. I’d asked around for him a bit, but didn’t find him. He came by camp late Wednesday when I was out, and then again Friday during the day when I finally saw him for the first time. We hung out for about 15 minutes. He told me that he was going to be back in Center Camp at 7 that night to see a musician play. I went looking for him at that show, but didn’t find him there, and didn’t see him at all for the rest of the week.
Lessons: Cat’s Cradle
Friday night, my friend Joyce and I were wandering around looking at art and came upon the Cat’s Cradle. After a few minutes of enviously watching the other climbers, I left my bag with her and climbed in.
I made it from the center up the tall hand side fairly easily (my feet are probably five or six feet off the ground in that photo), and then returned down to the web in the center.
As I was moving towards the other hand I lost my balance. I didn’t exactly fall, so much as recline sideways in slow motion, as the cords my feet were on went one way and the cords I was holding went the other way. I righted myself and tried again, and again, lost my balance in the same manner.
At that point I thought “oh well, game over” and just let go… I slid backwards, headfirst, down through the web and came to rest gently on my back, entirely outside the web except for my feet, which were still slightly tangled about a yard off the ground. A woman standing there said “That just birthed you right out, didn’t it!” Joyce came around from the far side and said “From where I was standing it looked like you were reborn just now.”
I’m not sure what the lesson there is, but it seems too good a symbolism to pass up. Something about letting go and it all working out OK, I suppose.
Lessons: The Burn Circle
I love rangering the burn circle perimeter saturday night when the man burns. It’s one of my favorite parts of rangering. This year, for a variety of reasons, I chose to work outside of the burn circle instead, doing random ranger things behind the crowds while the man burned. Mostly the choice was about trying something new, letting go of what was familiar and fun and seeing what the alternative experience had to offer. All in all it was a good enough shift, and I actually got to watch the man burn for the first time in 5 years. Not bad, but not nearly as fun as working the burn circle. It turned out, for reasons related to the man’s construction, the burn circle was rough this year. rwx told me later that it would have been valuable to have had me working inside, which was nice to hear. I’m glad I tried something different this year, and next year I’ll be back in the circle again.
Lessons: The Temple
On Sunday I went out and did my usual Sunday visit to the temple. I wrote, in green sharpie:
"This has been a year of not-knowing, of giving up expectations, choosing fulfillment and an unknown path of greater reward.
This is for everyone constrained by fear and comfort and the safety of the known. Letting go is scary and amazing."
It was a much less emotional visit to the temple than previous years, probably because I’d done a lot of emotional processing and releasing earlier in the week.
Lessons: The Seattle Temple Burn
I wasn’t planning on working the burn perimeter for the Seattle Memorial Temple. The temple never quite felt like it was mine. It was there for the grief of others, and I didn’t want to impose or claim to be part of something or feeling something just to participate. So I wasn’t considering working the perimeter for that burn. rwx said “you should be there, working the perimeter.” I hemmed and hawed and he said “Be there at 7.” So I went out there at 7.
It was a really gorgeous, intimate, beautiful little burn. I was very glad to be there with and for my Seattle family, for the many people I knew who had been affected by the killings, and who had built the temple. I was totally fine for the ceremony, the lighting and the most of the burning of the temple. Rock solid stable. Then they threw the door on, the door from the house with a 3” shotgun blast hole through the middle of it. And as the door hit the fire I totally lost it, burst into tears, and watched others around me start crying at that same moment. As it burned I cried and hugged and held friends on both sides of me. I did a lot more hugging and holding as the crowd drifted and eventually dissipated and I ran into more friends as I walked around.
It was really good for me to be there. I’m glad I went, despite my initial reservations. Thank you rwx for being the insistent agent of the universe who got me there.
Serendipity: Coke
Sunday night after the various burns, I was walking back to the city with Squishelle and we passed a burn platform where people were hanging out. A friend of mine named Chris and a friend of his had set up a bar on a folding table. While we were chatting with them, a woman came by on a bike and offered them a can of coke. "Do you want this as a mixer? Someone gave it to me and I don't drink coke." Chris said sure, she put the can on the table, and rode off. So the bar had a can of coke. Not 2 minutes later, a couple came up and Chris asked what they'd like to drink. The first thing they said is "Do you have a coke? For a rum and coke or something?" And he did. I love that.
Lessons, Serendipity: Butterfly
As we were packing up the last few items to leave, a butterfly flew by. This is rare in a place that’s so dry you usually only seen insects that come in with your produce, or a few indigenous praying mantises. The event was closer to the edge of the desert this year, so there were a few more bugs than usual, but I’ve never seen a butterfly on the playa before. It followed us to the one stop we had to make as we left. A very auspicious sign of transformation, freedom, and spreading ones wings.