(no subject)
I don't know today started out alright I guess but it just went down the gutter as the day went on. So right now I'm not in the best of moods. Lets start with the beginning of the day since that was probably the only good part. "She" woke me up this morning. I dunno but I guess i get the best feeling in the world when the phone rings and i hear that one ringtone that i dont get tired of. Talked on the phone, talked on the internet. Those chats are always fun (and always will be). Went to Pac-Sun a little while later got some clothes cause i figured i could use a style change. I dunno but i think this style looks pretty good on me. I'll try to get some pics up soon hehe. Came home layed down watching my turtle swim around for a while. I was on the phone with her again. Was bored at home the rest of the time. Got into a big big fight with dad over the same old usual stuff but this time it was different. It just seemed so much worse than all the other times. So I decided to leave the house for a while go to bay terrace and see if i could calm my nerves down a little bit. Went to Barnes & Noble and saw something I wasn't expecting. Thats when jealousy hit me in the face like a brick. Went all the way to Main St. to just settle myself. Its hard when your a pessimistic and easily jealous person with low self esteem. But hey I cant complain. Its not my place to right?
Well, I'm gonna say this because i feel as if i should write it somewhere. I don't care who reads it even her. I know that its nothing that i should get my hopes up for. But she has been practically the only girl that has ever liked me. I really like her too. But the situation is so confusing I don't know what to do. She is such an energetic and fun person to be around. Shes cute and adorable. She brightens up the day no matter how bad it is. Just seeing her face makes me happy. I know this sounds mushy and stuff but its the way i feel. I just wish she felt the same way about me. Shes probably one of the best things that has happened to me over the years. She makes me feel like I am normal (but crazy haha). I guess what I really am trying to say is that I love her. But what does a fool like me know of something like that. I would tell her face to face but its so hard knowing that she doesnt feel the same way. I dont think I like the idea of telling her i love her and not hearing it back. It sounds not fun. Like I said I don't really care who reads this. Criticize me all you want. Cause you know what..You are probably right about me. Im a loser and Im stupid. If she does read this I hope it wont change anything between us. I understand where she is coming from I suppose. But I don't think I can just let it go that I really like her and I really care about her. I just don't wanna lose anything that could have happened. Like I said before I want to say I love her. But the fact that im just some inexperienced fool I don't think it would be my place to say it. Besides she doesnt feel the same way. I'm sorry I've gone onto rambling.
Don't hate me for this. I feel I needed to put it somewhere.
Well, I'm gonna say this because i feel as if i should write it somewhere. I don't care who reads it even her. I know that its nothing that i should get my hopes up for. But she has been practically the only girl that has ever liked me. I really like her too. But the situation is so confusing I don't know what to do. She is such an energetic and fun person to be around. Shes cute and adorable. She brightens up the day no matter how bad it is. Just seeing her face makes me happy. I know this sounds mushy and stuff but its the way i feel. I just wish she felt the same way about me. Shes probably one of the best things that has happened to me over the years. She makes me feel like I am normal (but crazy haha). I guess what I really am trying to say is that I love her. But what does a fool like me know of something like that. I would tell her face to face but its so hard knowing that she doesnt feel the same way. I dont think I like the idea of telling her i love her and not hearing it back. It sounds not fun. Like I said I don't really care who reads this. Criticize me all you want. Cause you know what..You are probably right about me. Im a loser and Im stupid. If she does read this I hope it wont change anything between us. I understand where she is coming from I suppose. But I don't think I can just let it go that I really like her and I really care about her. I just don't wanna lose anything that could have happened. Like I said before I want to say I love her. But the fact that im just some inexperienced fool I don't think it would be my place to say it. Besides she doesnt feel the same way. I'm sorry I've gone onto rambling.
Don't hate me for this. I feel I needed to put it somewhere.