(no subject)
These days. There is so much going on: getting the house ready for the graduation brunch, saying goodbye to people (though it's not goodbye yet, it's just spending time with them and trying to get used to the idea that they'll all be gone next year), enjoying my last few days with hot showers and Internet for a few months, packing my life away, and otherwise trying to cram things in.
As usual at the end of the term, I'm doing some serious decompressing from school. This time, the feeling is not sadness but anger. Apparently, this term I shoved away a lot of anger because I didn't feel I had the time to deal with it. I don't know what to do with it now... the situations that directly brought it up are gone. I'm afraid of this rage trapped inside of me, afraid it will one day make me mean and bitter. Afraid it will come out in ways I don't want it to when I'm supposed to be a role model this summer. I've been praying. I think exercise would do me some good too... but what's sad is, I still don't feel I have the time.
And yet there's a lot of good going on. I'm really glad that Saira's back, glad to do simple things with my friends like share a picnic lunch. It's neat to see their families. I feel blessed to have such a wonderful opportunity to explore this summer and some time with Catherine and Buzzy as well. If my life were simpler, it would also be a lot less rich.
As usual at the end of the term, I'm doing some serious decompressing from school. This time, the feeling is not sadness but anger. Apparently, this term I shoved away a lot of anger because I didn't feel I had the time to deal with it. I don't know what to do with it now... the situations that directly brought it up are gone. I'm afraid of this rage trapped inside of me, afraid it will one day make me mean and bitter. Afraid it will come out in ways I don't want it to when I'm supposed to be a role model this summer. I've been praying. I think exercise would do me some good too... but what's sad is, I still don't feel I have the time.
And yet there's a lot of good going on. I'm really glad that Saira's back, glad to do simple things with my friends like share a picnic lunch. It's neat to see their families. I feel blessed to have such a wonderful opportunity to explore this summer and some time with Catherine and Buzzy as well. If my life were simpler, it would also be a lot less rich.