Does it Matter...
Title: Does it Matter…
Author: Zinnamom
Character: Jack , OMC observing him.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Only general spoilers.
Disclaimer: All rights belong to RTD and BBC. No profit is being made.
Author's Notes: I haven’t got a beta, so if you see any mistakes, feel free to point them out to me. The title is taken from a poem by Sassoon.
Summary: He’d never understood before. What it was like to envy someone. To hate with a passion and to pity them.
Does it Matter…
The earth around him was like a freshly dug grave, only they’d forgotten to bury the bodies. The sky was filled with airplanes and people were dying like flies. He tried to give orders but what’s the use? They can’t stop the falling bombs.
He’d never understood before. What it was like to envy someone. To hate with a passion and to pity them.
His men, excluding Jack, are dying..
That’s why he hates the man.
And yet he can’t let him leave. Not as long as he’s useful. And he’ll always be useful. There is always something left to give.
Jack wants to be used, that’s why he pities him.
Jack feels as guilty as the rest of them for surviving, but in his case there is no chance of redemption. Not now not ever.
He’ll die a thousand deaths and still get up afterwards. Therefore his life in itself is meaningless, it has no worth on it’s own. It’s measured in what he can do for others, how many of them he can save from an early grave.
The tragic thing is: in the end he’ll outlive them all
But somehow (and this is why he envies him), in the frigging mess that is Jack Harkness’s life, he always manages to find someone to live for.