[Fic]: Good Bros Don't Cuddle (1/?)

[zinkini]

Title: Good Bros Don’t Cuddle
Fandom: The Social Network
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Eduardo didn’t expect to learn about Mark’s first time, nor did he expect himself to freak out over it. Nevertheless, it began with a game of Never Have I Ever.
Disclaimer: TSN and its characters are not mine.



It began with a game of Never Have I Ever.

Mark, Dustin, and Chris were roommates, but Eduardo, despite being an acquaintance of Chris from Econ (and, by definition of first year college boys struggling to find their place in this new environment, a friend) felt left out of their group. There was a camaraderie among people who lived together that Eduardo couldn’t understand or try to understand (he had a single).

So when the trio invited Eduardo over to hang out at their suite, he brought Billy Olson along, a guy that knew Mark and Dustin from CS and Eduardo from a random humanities class he took for fun. Eduardo hoped that the presence of Billy would help diffuse the sense of loneliness, or, even better, give the three musketeers a hint to keep their inside jokes and their “remember that one time” anecdotes to themselves.

Eduardo thought about bringing beer, but decided not to because he didn’t know for sure how the other three would take it. They were still at that stage of the relationship when Eduardo wouldn’t risk revealing himself when he didn’t know which angle he should sell them. If they were square, he’ll play the ‘good boy from a good Jewish family’ card. If they were square who were pretending not to be, he’ll play the ‘seemingly good boy with a rebellious edge who is stuck in a strict Jewish family’ card. If they were just plain assholes, then well…Eduardo would hate it, but he would play the asshole card if need be.

Billy Olson, however, was not Eduardo and brought the beer anyway.

Eduardo hissed to Billy when they were outside the door. “What are you doing?” He gestured to the case of beer dangling dangerously from Billy’s hand. “We’re not old enough to drink.”

“Relax, Eduardo,” said Billy. He did some kind of hand gesture. “No one’s gonna be a bitch about it. They all want a piece of this.” Eduardo wasn’t sure if Billy was referring to the beer or to his own penis. It was hard to tell because Billy liked to make random dick jokes. Contrary to what Billy liked to tell himself, the bad jokes did not make Billy anymore endearing in the eyes of women.

Before Eduardo could dignify that with a response, the door swung open with Dustin greeting them. “Hey guys,” and then, spotting the case of beer in Billy’s hand, Dustin lurched forward and pulled Billy in a one-armed hug. “You brought beer? Fuck, I love you so much right now.”

Billy chuckled, trying not to drop the beer case. “Love you too man. No homo though.”

Dustin laughed, pushing Billy away.”Whatever man. Chris is all I need. Right, Chris?”

“Please leave me out of this.” Chris was sitting on the couch when Dustin moved for Billy and Eduardo to come in.

“That’s not what you said last night.” Dustin went to sit next to Chris but Chris kicked him. “Oww.”

“Mark!” Billy called. “Beer!”

Mark was, predictably, in front of his computer again. He peeked in the common room when Billy called, and, seeing the beer, he slowly detangled himself from the computer to join the party.

Eduardo felt a sharp disappointment bursting through because he had thought of bringing beer but decided not to.

“Hey” was all Mark said before settling in his favorite armchair by the minifridge. His greeting was for everyone, but Eduardo quickly greeted back with a “Hi” before Billy beat him to it.

But Billy was closer to Mark and he handed Mark a beer with ease. “Hey man.”

Mark took it gratefully and nodded in thanks.

Billy handed Eduardo the case for him to take one and pass it on to Dustin and Chris, and Eduardo almost decline one for himself, just to spite Billy, but being left out felt even worse, so he grudgingly took a beer and handed the rest to Dustin and Chris.

“Mark,” Dustin mock-whined. “Chris wanted me to pretend last night didn’t happen.”

Billy looked amused. “What did happen last night?”

“Nothing,” said Chris at the same time Mark said. “I’m not sure what I was seeing, but I watched anyway.”

Everyone laughed except for Mark who just smirked and Eduardo who just chuckled weakly because he felt left out of the conversation. There was an alarm in his head beeping, “What did Mark watch? What did Mark watch? It better not be what I think it is.”

Billy moved to the other side of the room to sit on the remaining armchair, and Eduardo realized that he was the only one standing. He could sit on the couch next to Dustin and Chris, but Dustin was sitting with his back against the arm rest and his feet against Chris’s thigh, taking space for two people, and Eduardo didn’t want to be impolite and tell him to shove aside.

“Dustin, move,” said Mark, eyeing Eduardo.

“Oh,” Dustin scrambled to make room. “Sorry man.”

“No, it’s alright,” said Eduardo. “You don’t have to move. I don’t want to sit down anyway.” Besides, Dustin was sitting on the side of the couch nearest to Billy, away from Mark, and Eduardo didn’t want to sit there anyway. And sitting between Chris and Dustin would make him feel bad for separating them.

In other words, he wanted to sit near Mark, and he wasn’t going to settle for almost.

“You could grab Dustin’s computer chair,” Chris suggested.

“Is that okay?” Eduardo asked.

“Yeah, it’s cool,” Dustin replied, and Eduardo went to grab the chair to put it in the space between Mark and Chris.

Of course, it was Dustin who suggested, “We should play a drinking game.”

“What game?” Billy asked, while Chris said. “No, we should not.”

Mark opened his beer with a bottle opener, and Eduardo remembered the time he asked Mark to take a look at his computer, and Mark had showed him his second baby-the first being his laptop-a screwdriver, a Swiss knife, and a bottle opener all in one. Mark had no use for the knife, but he thought it would be cool to have it. Mark gave Dustin The Glare of Death when he asked if he could borrow it.

Mark handed it to Eduardo wordlessly, and for a second, Eduardo just stared at him because all Eduardo could register in his mind was the fact that Mark was giving Eduardo his second baby. But then Eduardo realized that Mark just offered it so that Eduardo could open his beer bottle.

“Thanks,” said Eduardo. He took great care in getting the cap open slowly as not to meet Mark’s eyes.

“Why?” asked Mark, and Eduardo jumped in his seat. When he realized that Mark was talking to Dustin, he was relieved and a little disappointed.

“Because it’ll be fun!” said Dustin.

“It’ll be more humiliating than fun,” said Mark.

But Dustin was determined. “Well, nothing bring friends closer than embarrassing moments, yeah?” At this, he gave Chris and Mark a look, which made Chris flushed slightly and Mark lifted one of his brow.

It was one of those inside jokes that Eduardo didn’t get, but could guess. He tried to hold back his envy because there was no room for it. He took comfort in the fact that Billy was in the same boat as him.

“I am in,” said Billy.

“Me too,” said Eduardo, not wanting to be outdone. Besides, he really wanted to be a part of the group. He wanted his own inside jokes too, or at least, recognized the group’s inside jokes if it ever came up again.

A shrug was Mark’s only response.

Dustin turned to Chris.

Chris knew that he was being cornered. “I hate you,” he told Dustin.

“I love you too,” said Dustin, and Chris sighed. “Fine, let’s do it.”

“What are we going to play?” asked Billy.

“Never Have I Ever,” Dustin replied. “It’s a game that you wouldn’t feel bad for losing.”

Mark scoffed. “You’ll be too drunk to feel bad anyway.”

Eduardo grinned, turning to Mark to find that Mark was already looking at him. Mark grinned back.

“Yeah, let’s play,” Eduardo said, suddenly not feeling all that bad for not contributing much to the conversation.

“Who wants to start?” asked Dustin, and a silence followed. “Fine, I’ll go first. Never have I ever been in New York.”

“The state or the city?” asked Billy.

“The state.”

“Damn,” Billy took a swig. Everyone else did too.

Mark glared at Dustin, who shrugged.

And so they all went around, each revealing a little bit more about themselves, but nothing too earth shattering. After a few rounds though, Eduardo was beginning to feel tipsy, and he suspected that everyone else was the same. It was nice. Eduardo found out random facts about his friends, the most memorable was Dustin’s swallowing of a goldfish on a dare in third grade to impress his crush. They abandoned the ten finger thing somewhere in the middle and stuck to the beer.

Eduardo kicked Mark’s ankle with his feet. Mark attempted to retaliate, but he had shorter leg and couldn’t reach Eduardo. He ended up slipping out of his chair and onto the floor.

Everyone laughed and laughed because everything was much funnier with beer. Mark picked himself up from the ground and said, “Fuck you guys,” even though Eduardo could see the hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He sat back in the armchair, shooting Eduardo a look that he interpreted as, ‘I shall get my revenge someday.’

After the excitement died down, Billy decided that he wasn’t going to let it be because when it was his turn in the game, he said. “Let’s make this even more fun.”

“How so?” Chris asked cautiously.

“The game is too-” Billy searched for a word but couldn’t find one in his beer-muddled mind.

“Vanilla,” Dustin finished for him, and Billy nodded in approval.

Eduardo didn’t like the sound of this. He turned to Mark.

Mark shrugged.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Chris asked.

“It means that we all have to say something embarrassing,” replied Billy.

“And Dustin’s goldfish thing isn’t embarrassing enough?” said Mark, the alcohol loosening his tongue and be began to snickering to himself.

Mark was always the most lightweight out of all of them, Eduardo thought fondly. He let this image of Mark burned in his mind because he rarely see Mark like this, relaxed and smiling and happy.

“No, not like that,” Billy said. “Like, like-”

“About sex?” Dustin asked.

“Yeah!” Billy swung his arms dramatically, almost losing his grip on his beer. “Sex!”

This earned a groan from both Eduardo and Chris. Eduardo spoke first. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Anything that Billy comes up with can’t be a good idea,” said Chris. Eduardo had to agree, although bringing the beer was a good one. Whatever.

“Let’s do it!” Dustin cheered, and Billy joined in his enthusiasm. “Yes!”

“Then you go first,” Eduardo said.

“What?” Billy squeaked, which broke Mark into a giggling fit. Eduardo was a little worried. If Mark started giggling, that meant he was really out of it.

“Why me?”

“Because you suggested it first,” Chris answered.

“You have to go first, man. It’s only fair,” said Dustin.

Billy knew that he was cornered. There was no point dragging this on any longer. “Fine, I’ll start.” He took a breath, ducking his head a little, as if what he will say will destroyed the whole universe. “Never have I ever had sex.”

Eduardo took a swallow from his bottle. Then, he couldn’t help himself but laughed. Billy never had sex, but he wanted the game to head down that road. This guy was really shameless.

“What’s so funny?” Chris said defensively. Eduardo suddenly realized that Chris and Dustin didn’t drink from their bottle.

“No, there’s nothing wrong with not having sex,” Eduardo frown. “You mean you guys never-”

“No,” said Dustin. “Virgin and proud!” He did this weird robot dance that had Chris broke into giggles.

Billy whooped and reached over to Dustin for an awkward high five. “Virgin and proud, baby!”

“No,” Chris answered, sounding embarrassed. “I’ve never….I haven’t found a guy who…is right.”

There was an awkward pause, and then Billy broke it, “Awww, Chris.” He got out of his chair, stumbling over the couch with his arms spread wide for a hug.

“No,” he glared at Billy, and Billy raised both of his hands in surrender. “Alright,” Billy settled back into his chair.

Chris turned to Dustin, who was staring at him, “What?”

Then suddenly Dustin lunged forward and pulled Chris into a hug. “Dustin, let go,” said Chris, but it sounded like he didn’t really mean it. Dustin planted a sloppy kiss on Chris’s cheek, and Chris shoved him off, his face burning red.

“There’s so much heterosexuality in this room right now,” said Billy.

“Fuck off,” Dustin laughed. “You’re just jealous.”

Billy laughed good-naturedly. “Maybe. Although I’m kind of bummed out that most of us haven’t had sex. This would cut the game short. But,” he turned to look at Eduardo, and Eduardo knew that he wouldn’t like what was to come. “We do have Eduardo and Mark here who had.”

What?

Eduardo looked at Mark, suddenly noticing that Mark was silent for the past few minutes. Mark had sex before? Well, Eduardo didn’t want to sound like a douche bag, but if Dustin and Chris hadn’t had sex, then he wouldn’t expect Mark to either.

It was kind of weird because Mark was supposed to be…Eduardo didn’t know, but it was a little strange to imagine Mark as a sexual being. Really strange. Weird. Because Mark was supposed to be his friend, a friend that Eduardo did not associate with sex.

Mark didn’t say anything. He stared back at Billy defiantly, as if saying, ‘So what?’ and ‘You wished you had sex’ at the same time.

Eduardo was curious, but at the same time, he didn’t want to know.

“I want stories,” said Chris, and when Dustin shot him a look, Chris said. “What? Aren’t you curious too?”

“I am,” Dustin admitted.

“Me too,” Billy chimed in.

And then the three began to look at him and Mark expectantly.

“What?” Eduardo suspected that he looked like a trapped animal right now.

“Stories,” replied Dustin. “Now.” He made a point of putting his hands under his chin. Both Chris and Billy leaned forward, elbows on their knees attentively.

He didn’t say anything because he was hoping that Mark would go first. But Mark didn’t say anything, and he didn’t seem that bothered by the other three’s expectant staring.

Eduardo was though. He really felt like some kind of zoo animal, and he really wanted them to stop right now.

“Fine,” Eduardo caved in, and the other three whooped, high fiving each other. Eduardo shook his head and turned to Mark, who was looking at him curiously. Eduardo felt abashed all of a sudden, and for some reason he really didn’t want to talk about his embarrassing first time in front of Mark. It made him felt all vulnerable, which was strange because Mark wasn’t going to be weird about it, right? They were friends here.

“How old were you?” Chris asked to push him along.

“It was junior year of high school,” Eduardo sighed. “There was…this girl. We’ve been friends for awhile. Sort of.” Actually, she was a friend of a friend, but well…close enough. “We were playing a video game at her house when her parents weren’t home, and then she sort of leaned over-” Eduardo wanted to hide right about now because his story sounded all awkward and not at all smooth and cool. “She said that she planned for this, and yeah.”

Everyone guffawed, except for Mark, who just chuckled and looked at Eduardo with this…look. Eduardo felt all tingly and strange because Mark was his friend, and….and then he quickly added, “Well, she wasn’t really a friend. More of a friend of a friend.” As if the words would put some kind of distance between him and Mark.

“Was she hot?” asked Billy.

“She was pretty,” Eduardo said generously. She was alright, a bit doughy in places, and definitely bigger than him, but at that age, Eduardo was scrawnier and smaller than everybody. It wasn’t until senior year when his growth spurt really hit off, so at the time, he felt like he was a baby zebra being mauled by a lion twice his size. Eduardo wisely chose to hold that information in for himself only.

“Was it good?” asked Dustin.

“Yeah,” Eduardo answered. It was awkward and sweaty, and he came before she did, but… ”She thanked me after we were done.”

“She thanked you?” Chris sniggered, and the others joined in, even Mark.

“Fuck off,” said Eduardo, face flaming. He wanted to see what Mark thought about all of this, but he didn’t have the courage to look at him. “I mean, I just assumed that she must have had a better time than I did. That’s what the ‘thanks’ meant, right?”

This earned another round of guffaws. Mark, senses softened by the beer, laughed the hardest, clutching his stomach and wiping away the beer dribbling down his chin from laughing so hard with his sleeve.

“Oh Eduardo,” Dustin said when he finally got a grip of himself. “I feel sorry for the girl who was forced to have sex with you.”

“She came on to me!” Eduardo defended himself. “How was I supposed to know that she was going to jump on me during Mario?” The guys laughed again.

Eduardo felt embarrassed, yes, but he also felt happy because for the first time, he felt belonged in the group. Well, Eduardo felt comfortable with Mark, but this was the first time he felt like he fit in with the whole gang. It was nice. Really, really nice.

Eduardo suddenly felt a kick on his ankle, and he turned to look at Mark. He couldn’t read Mark’s expression, but he gave Mark a reassuring smile anyway.

“Okay,” said Chris. “Mark, your turn.”

“Yeah, Mark!” Dustin applauded. “I have to hear this.”

Billy leaned back in his chair. “No offense man, but you don’t look like the type to lose your virginity by the end of high school.”

Mark gave Billy a bored look. “Whatever.”

“So, do tell,” Chris prodded.

“When was it?” asked Dustin.

“Last summer,” said Mark. “Went to a gay bar in New York.”

“What?” a chorus of surprised gawks echoed through the room.

Eduardo felt a strange churning in his stomach.

“Now I really have to hear this,” said Dustin, while the other three just gaped openly at Mark.

“No way” was Billy’s eventual response. Chris just made a strangled sound.

Eduardo stared at Mark. Stared. And stared.

Mark wasn’t supposed to go to a gay bar. Mark wasn’t supposed to lose his virginity to a random stranger at a gay bar. Mark wasn’t supposed to let creepy older guys touched him. Eduardo wondered in panic if Mark actually liked it, liked that a complete stranger touched him, liked that another guy touched him. Not that Eduardo would do a better job but-

And Eduardo wasn’t supposed to look at Mark in a sexual way. Not at all.

“Why?” Eduardo finally managed to choke out. He knew that his reaction didn’t even make sense, but he didn’t give a fuck right now because Mark had sex with a guy?

“What happened?” Chris asked.

“I went to New York to visit a distant cousin who goes to Columbia. I stole his ID and snuck out when he left with his friends,” said Mark. “Then a guy picked me up at the bar and we went back to his place.”

“Oh wow” was all Chris could say.

“Was it good?” Dustin asked curiously, and Eduardo wanted to know too, only a little, because he didn’t know if he could handle it if Mark said that it was the best sex of his life.

“It was,” and here Mark hesitated. “Okay.”

Eduardo didn’t know if he should feel relieved or not.

“Just okay?” said Billy.

“High standards?” asked Chris.

“My standards are not that high,” said Mark, and when the others scoffed in disbelief. “I don’t. You guys just think I do.”

“How does it feel?” Dustin asked. Now it was Chris’s turn to shoot him a look. “What? I’m curious.”

“It wasn’t too good,” Mark shrugged. “I mean, he kept saying that he’ll make me feel good, but it didn’t feel good at all, it just hurt a lot, and he just kept going because I wasn’t going to tell him to stop.”

The silence that followed was deafening.

Chris just looked at Mark sympathetically. For once, Dustin and Billy were actually quiet. And Eduardo? Eduardo was fucking pissed off. He was going to fucking kill that guy. He was going to-

“What?” said Mark. “I wanted to try it; I didn’t expect it to feel that bad, but I wanted to try it. Stop looking at me like that.”

The other guys looked guilty. Eduardo felt guilty too because a few minutes ago he was hoping that Mark’s first time with a guy wasn’t so great, but now he would rather have Mark’s first time as the best sex Mark had ever had, even if it wasn’t with….

Eduardo halted his thought before it could drift any further.

But the awkward silence was still there because none of the guys knew what to say after Mark’s confession. If they said sorry, Mark was probably going to hit them or something, well, he wouldn’t, but he didn’t like it when people apologize for something that wasn’t their fault. But still, everyone felt bad because they made Mark tell the story.

Eduardo felt that he needed to say something comforting, but then he didn’t know what to say in this situation. It wasn’t your fault? I’m sorry? But nothing made Mark angrier than being made a victim, yet, at the same time….

Dustin, because he was a miracle worker, broke the silence. “Did he make you breakfast the morning after, at least?”

“No,” Mark scoffed, and for some reason, a balance was restored in the room. Eduardo almost collapsed in relief. “We didn’t even cuddle.” And then, realizing what he’d just said, Mark attempted to back track. “I mean-”

But it was too late because Chris (surprisingly, because usually Billy or Dustin would do it) latched on to this right away. “Ah, so the secret’s out. Mark’s a cuddler.”

“I am not,” Mark protested, at the same time Billy said. “Aww, he didn’t cuddle with you? I would cuddle the fuck out of you.”

“As if I would want you,” Mark retorted, earning a chorus of “ohhh, burn!” from everyone but Eduardo, who only laughed weakly.

“Oh, right,” said Dustin. “He only wants Eduardo to cuddle with him.”

Everyone but Mark and Eduardo laughed. Eduardo felt….abashed, as if something he was trying to bury deep inside was being dragged out. “Stop it, guys.”

But of course, his words only serve to encourage them. They started teasing Mark but Eduardo couldn’t hear it, refused to hear any of it because Mark was Mark and Mark was his friend, and Eduardo couldn’t….couldn’t see him as anything other than that, but apparently Mark was also okay with sleeping with guys, and Eduardo didn’t know what he was supposed to feel about that. There was a small part of him that lit up with hope, but then Eduardo quickly stamped it down because it was scary to think like that, to see your friend as anything more than who he already was because then he was going to have…thoughts.

“If Eduardo doesn’t want you then I’ll cuddle with you, Mark,” said Dustin, and Eduardo felt a flare rising in his chest. He never said he didn’t want to cuddle with Mark, so Dustin could just keep his hands to himself, okay?

“Wouldn’t that be cheating on Chris?” asked Billy.

“Chris wouldn’t mind if Mark joins us, wouldn’t you?” Dustin nudged Chris with his shoulder. “I mean, we know Mark’s cool with watching, I don’t think he would mind joining in.”

“I don’t mind,” said Chris. “It’ll be-” and before Chris could finish, Eduardo sprung from his chair and went for the door.

Fuck it. Fuck Mark and his inside jokes with Dustin and Chris. Fuck Mark and his going out to fuck some random guy who wasn’t-

“Wardo, wait,” someone said, but Eduardo wasn’t sure. It probably wasn’t Mark because why would Mark call after him? Whatever. Eduardo didn’t care. Mark could go fuck or cuddle with whoever he wanted and Eduardo wouldn’t give a fuck. Mark could go ahead and fuck Dustin and Chris and even Billy and Eduardo wouldn’t give a fuck because he didn’t matter to Mark because Mark didn’t fucking tell him that he-

Eduardo swung the door open and fled.

Part 2a.