[Fic]: To None But Us: Silence
Title: Silence
Fandom: D.Gray-Man
Rating: T
Genre: Gen
Characters/Pairing: Kanda, Allen.
Wordcount: 1,174
Disclaimer: Not mine. Hoshino-sensei owns D. Gray-Man!Summary: Kanda was going to beat the annoying silence out of Allen.
Note: Takes place in Chapter 156 and 157 of D. Gray-Man, after HQ was attacked. Flashback is from Chapter 14. For Yullen Week. Late because I finally found out a few hours ago that Yullen Week exists.
Kanda found Allen first, after the attack was over. HQ was in pieces, but Allen Walker, even though he was suffering minor wounds (minor in comparison to the dead), was even more tattered than the rubble surrounding him. The stone column behind Allen seemed to support all of his weight.
Allen's left hand laid limply by his side, useless. Silence and the stink of death wrapped around his shoulders like a cloak.
He didn't say anything when Kanda approached him, so Kanda felt no obligation to talk. Comforting children wasn't his job. Besides, Allen was in the self-blaming mode, and Kanda didn't want to get in the way.
The silence grew between them.
The guilt clinging on Allen's face was as disgusting as the Akuma's curse mark next to it, heavy with the shame and self-hate that Allen foolishly believed to be love. Kanda didn't want to waste the effort of telling Allen this. Anyone who believed that an Akuma was truly his loved one deserved to die.
Kanda narrowed his eyes at Allen, who still had his eyes shut tight, probably replaying the instances where he failed to save people he'd probably only talked to once.
"Because I am a small man,
my heart is moved by what's in front of my eyes, not by what the whole world needs."
Anyone who carried so much guilt and self-blame wouldn't have much longer to live anyway. People who didn't have the selfishness to see that their own lives needed protecting, people like him….
"I want to protect everything I can!"
Arrogant.
Allen Walker was going to die if he kept this up. This silent guilt would kill him, if not now, then soon.
Kanda bristly turned back and walked away, rubble and dust crunching underneath his boots.
He had no business with people who were going to die.
The infirmary was too loud with silence. Everyone was quietly asleep, saved for Allen, who was in the bed next to him, silently drowning himself in guilt.
Kanda cursed the people who had no insight and put him in the bed next to Allen.
Even though he was exhausted to the bone, Kanda felt restless, his guts twisting with unease. His fingers twitched for Mugen, and he felt so agitated that he wanted to slice the damn Moyashi until the loud silence stopped, until Kanda could be left alone in peace once more.
Kanda hated people like him, people who were so arrogant they thought they could save everyone, people who were so naïve that they failed to see that the ones needed saving were themselves. Annoying till the end, foolish till their death.
Allen Walker was going to die by his own hands, drowning in a pool of murky self-hatred.
The back of Kanda's neck itched. The broken window frames of the infirmary creaked back and forth, smacking roughly against the brick wall whenever the wind howled past. The damn heavy curtains wouldn't stop rustling, and at a distance, Kanda could hear the flapping wings of crows, probably flying eagerly at the smell of death. The whole world was so god damn loud. Most irritating of all, however, was the imposed silence that the damn Moyashi was twisting into a noose around his neck.
Unable to take it anymore, and not giving a damn that he might wake the others up, Kanda rose from his bed. The mattress creaked loudly underneath him as he pulled his boots on.
Allen gave him no heed until Kanda grabbed Allen's boots from the floor and threw them at his face.
"Wha-" Allen spluttered in surprise before hissing. "What the hell, Kanda?"
"Fight me," Kanda ordered, heading to the doors, not checking to see if Allen was following him. At least Allen was talking now. Talking was good.
Silence was giving up. Silence was for someone who was dying.
"Moyashi," Kanda added for good measure.
"It's Allen!" Allen whispered angrily as he stumbled after Kanda and put on the boots at the same time.
"Che," Kanda scoffed, walking toward the training grounds, itching for a fight even though his body protested. Behind him, Allen hopped around until his boots were finally secured, and Kanda felt a strange calm settling when he heard Allen's footsteps rushing to catch up to him.
In the end, Allen's graceless and loud departure woke up enough people for a crowd to watch a show down between him and Kanda. Kanda didn't really care for crowding, but knew for a fact that it motivated Allen to be as loud and as annoying as possible (for Allen was a clown at heart), so the crowd was permitted by Kanda to stay. Thanks to the crowd, however, their simple spar morphed into a bet in which the loser would have his head shaved.
Kanda had no desire to shave his hair away, nor did he want to lose in a sword fight, ever, so Allen was going to be hairless whether he liked it or not.
Allen was a pathetic swordsman, making too many excessive movements, so even though he put up a good fight, Kanda was able to knock him down within fifteen minutes flat.
"Not bad, Kanda," Allen huffed, the wooden practice sword splitted into tattered strips in his hand. "I'm no match for you with a sword."
"Of course you're not," Kanda smirked. You're no match for me, ever. "Now let me shave your head."
Before Kanda could properly enjoy his easy victory, however, Allen grinned creepily like the cheat that he was, "Hey now, I didn't say I give up yet!" and before Kanda could brace himself for the attack, Allen took him by surprise with a twist of his legs around Kanda's sword arm, knocking the weapon from Kanda's grip and smashing Kanda face-first on to the ground.
"You bastard, you just pretended to be down!" Kanda gave Allen a satisfying sock to the face once he recovered from his shock.
"Foul play is part of a good strategy!" Allen hit him back with a hard punch below his jaw.
"DIE! You fake gentleman!"
"Well, my master is a faker!" What the hell was that supposed to mean?
Their fight quickly dissolved into a brawl, and they only stopped once they realized that they were too tired to do anything but huffing and puffing across from each other, the original purpose of defending their head of hair's honor completely lost.
At the end, when Allen, spotting several good bumps from the punches Kanda threw, stood next to an equally decorated Kanda, laughing and pouting and being his usual annoying self with the others, Kanda felt the itchy restlessness that wound around his bones melted away. A calming peace settled over him, even though the others were being excessively loud.
"Thanks, Kanda," Allen said, bumping his elbow against Kanda's arm. He sounded relaxed, relieved, like he had finally snapped out of whatever idiotic noble silence of guilt that he was punishing himself with.
"Whatever," Kanda said, and absolutely did not smile back.
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