[Fic]: Suono Di Violenza (Act 1. Part 2/2)
QQQ
It started raining in the evening, pounding heavily on the rooftop. Gokudera and Yamamoto went home to pack, and Tsuna wished that they had accepted his mother's invitation for dinner because the anxiety in the kitchen was choking everyone into silence. Lambo actually behaved, and in turn, I-pin was quiet. Bianchi said nothing. Even Reborn appeared more high-strung than usual.
Tsuna wanted the rain to stop already. He didn't have the best survival instinct, and the heavy rain was making it difficult to keep an ear for any slight disturbance that would signal incoming danger.
A sharp pain exploded on his forehead, enough to leave his ears ringing, and Tsuna realized that Reborn, the jerk, had just kicked him. "Wha-what was that for?" Tsuna rubbed his forehead mournfully. He hadn't done anything yet.
"Stop moping and eat up, Dame-Tsuna," Reborn crossed his arms. "You need all the strength you can get."
"You could have told me without the kicking," Tsuna said. "I would have listened!"
"You can't teach an old dog new trick without drawing blood, as the old saying goes," said Reborn.
"That's not how the saying goes at all!" Tsuna raised his voice, and he wasn't old, nor was he a dog. "You made that up. You just wanted to hit me for fun, didn't you?"
"Shut up and eat, Dame-Tsuna."
"I'm not a dog," Tsuna mumbled, feeling strangely liberated despite the sudden violence. He picked up his chopsticks and resumed his meal, but when he placed a piece of sausage in his bowl, Reborn snatched it from him.
"Hey!" Tsuna protested. Reborn chewed slowly, and, after he swallowed, said, "The early bird catches the worm."
"I got to the sausage first!" Tsuna said. "Hey!" He cried out when he tried to reach for another sausage, but Lambo snatched it before he could.
"Neh neh, Tsuna is too slow," Lambo taunted, and of course with Lambo up and about, I-pin was too.
Tsuna watched in relief as the tension in the room bled away with the return of normalcy. He never thought that he would miss Lambo stealing his food or the children running about making too much noise, but he did. Even Bianchi had a hint of a smile on her lips.
"The mentality of the Boss is the mentality of his Family," said Reborn, who was also watching the kids chasing each other. "When you're afraid and worried, so will your Family. Don't forget that."
"Ah, I understand. I guess," said Tsuna. "Thank you, Reborn."
Having Reborn as a mentor was painful but reassuring; at the same time, however, Tsuna wondered if he was ready to become the Vongola boss if he still had much to learn. He still…He didn't want to be a part of the mafia, even though he had gotten this far. No matter what Dino said about growing into it, Tsuna still couldn't get his mindset into being in the mafia. Dino said that they were similar, and Tsuna had thought so too. They both were no-good fighters who didn't want anything to do with the mafia until Reborn trained them, but Tsuna wasn't Dino; Tsuna still didn't want to be in the mafia, no matter how much training Reborn put him through. But….
Tsuna watched as I-pin tackled Lambo to the ground. For now, Tsuna would do what he could to protect his Family, even if it meant walking down a path that he didn't choose for himself.
He didn't miss the Reborn's contemplative stare, but he didn't point it out either.
"Don't over think things," Reborn said. "You can't afford to be distracted with stray thoughts."
"Right," said Tsuna.
"Also, you need to tell me the details of what happened at school," Reborn pointed out.
"I will," Tsuna said, shooting a nervous glance at his mother, but she showed no signs that she was aware of the current situation. Tsuna wished he could tell her, but he probably shouldn't.
When they were done with dinner, Tsuna helped his mom clean up even though he had never offered to do that before. It was strange when he thought about the fact that for all seventeen years of his life, his mother never told him to do any chores other than the simple ones to take care of himself, like cleaning his room. She didn't seem surprised when he offered; she just smiled and said, "Thank you, Tsu-chan."
Tsuna ended up drying the dishes as his mom washed them, since he didn't know how to wash dishes and would rather not break any rain had trickled down to a stop by now, so his mom had opened the window to let the night air in. They worked in a comfortable silence. The only sounds were the running water, the dishes and bowls clanking against each other, and the soft drip dripof the rain's aftermath outside.
It was a shock when his mom finally broke the silence. "Tsu-chan…is going far away, right?"
Tsuna stopped in his track, holding the wet bowl uncertainly in his hand. He glanced at his mom, who still had her usual easy-going smile on her face. After a moment- "Yes," he finally said, before resuming drying the bowl. "I'm sorry."
"You know," his mom said softly, and Tsuna had never, in his seventeen years, heard how vulnerable his mother's voice could be. She had always sounded happy, hopeful, and optimistic, no matter how often his father had walked out of their lives. "Your father offered to do the dishes too, the night before the first time he left. Even though he insisted, I ask him to dry the dishes while I wash instead."
Tsuna blinked. He didn't know that. There were very little that he knew of his father, and even less of this man's relationship with his mother.
"I know that he was going to leave before he told me," she continued, her voice sad with nostalgia. "And I wanted to treasure as much time as I could by his side."
"Mom-" Tsuna began, but was at a loss of what to say.
"I wanted to tell him to stay," his mom had paused in her work, placing down the plate she was washing back in the sink. "But I knew it wasn't going to make a difference. And now Tsu-chan is leaving too."
"That's not true."
His mother looked at Tsuna in surprise, and Tsuna himself was shock at his own words because deep inside, he knew that she couldn't stop him, just like she couldn't stop his father. This was a force beyond her control.
Tsuna placed the bowl and the rag on the counter. He reached for his mom's hand and squeezed it tightly. When had his mother's hand become so fragile?
"You could ask me to stay, mom," said Tsuna. "I'll listen."
"But you won't stay," she said, and Tsuna was surprised at the confidence in her tone.
"No," he admitted because he knew that it was true. "But-but your words would make a difference because…because…I'll learn how to wash the dishes, and one day I'll actually do it for you!" Up close, Tsuna could see the age lines on his mother's face, ones that he had never noticed before because her smile was always so bright.
"I'll keep you to your promise then," she smiled, but Tsuna saw that this was a different smile. He could see the hope and the optimism, things that the younger Tsuna had no problem finding, but the Tsuna now had grown to see other things as well. Melancholy. Doubt. Fear.
"Believe in me, mom," said Tsuna. "You've been strong for me. I will be strong for you too."
Nana let the sponge fell back into the sink and wrapped her arms around Tsuna's shoulders. She had known before, but it was only now that she saw how tall Tsuna had grown and how wide his shoulders had became. She buried her face in his hair, hoping that she could hold back her tears.
Tsuna returned the embrace. The soapy water was soaking into his shirt, but he didn't care. Mom smelled the same like always, like warmth and home and the last seventeen years of love.
"When have you grown so much?" Nana's voice cracked. "I've always thought that I would at least have a few years left with you."
Tsuna rubbed comforting circles on his mother's back. "It's alright. I'll come back."
"Did you know that I was always afraid of asking you how your day went?" she whispered. "Because I was scared that if you told me, I would be forced to realize how far you had grown away from me."
"I know," Tsuna said, and perhaps that was one of the reasons why he tried to keep the mafia business from her. He would keep doing it if he could, continuing to pretend that he was still a little boy that she could take care of, but the times were different now. "And I know that you've known about…things without me telling you."
"Like father, like son," she said sadly.
"I'll come back," Tsuna promised because he didn't want to be his father. "I'll do it with my Dying Will."
"I'd rather that you return without having to resort to that," Nana tightened her grip around Tsuna. "I'll wait for you, no matter how long it would take."
Tsuna clutched his mother tightly and let his hair soak the tears of his mother's sadness.
Outside, it started raining again.
QQQ
Tsuna knew what he had said, but to actually do it was another matter altogether. Iemitsu and Basil arrived earlier than expected. Tsuna thought that he had to wait until morning, but they arrived at 10 PM, on the dot. His mother was ecstatic, although her smile didn't seem as bright as usual even with the family completed at last.
Tsuna greeted his father and Basil, what he wanted to say to his father clumped in his throat. "Ah, you've grown taller since I last seen you, Tsuna," his father laughed, although Tsuna didn't see any humor in the fact that he had not seen Iemitsu once in the last two years.
"I am turning eighteen soon," Tsuna said.
It was October. His birthday was in a few days.
"Ah!" His mother gasped, and Tsuna could see the realization on her face. It had not occurred to Tsuna before, why his mother had always recall Reborn's birthday but rarely his, but now, he wondered if she did remember, but couldn't bear to see him grow older. It was strange how he could see things that he had not noticed before.
"Almost an adult," Iemitsu said.
"It would be a while until I turn twenty," Tsuna pointed out.
"No, but you will be an adult in Italy," Iemitsu said.
"I'm not Italian," Tsuna said, and perhaps he was angry. Being Japanese had never been his first priority, but he felt like he was being robbed of so many things in so little time that he was willing to cling on to what he could still call his. But perhaps his anger was simpler than that. Perhaps he was just angry with his father.
Besides, just because he was to be Vongola Decimo didn't mean that he was going to move to Italy anytime soon.
"You're going to be," said Iemitsu. "Why are you still here? It's dangerous."
That wasn't Tsuna's father talking. That was the CEDEF leader talking. Even though Tsuna knew that his father had to do his job, it still irritated him. "I wanted to talk to you first," Tsuna replied.
"Why don't we all sit down in the kitchen," Nana suggested. "I'll make tea."
"I'll help you," Tsuna said before Iemitsu could refuse her offer. The last thing Tsuna wanted to do was to deny his mother anything now.
They all filed in to the kitchen. Tsuna didn't know to prepare the tea, but luckily, his mom just asked him to take out the mochi she bought this morning and put them on a plate, which was an easy enough job.
"Where is Reborn?" Iemitsu asked.
"He's upstairs," Tsuna replied, placing the plate of mochi on the kitchen table and taking the seat across from his father. Strange, Reborn must have sensed that Iemitsu was here, yet he did not come downstairs.
"And your guardians?" "I've informed them of the situation this afternoon," said Tsuna. "They'll be here early tomorrow morning." Chrome had nodded in acceptance, taking things in strides without a protest, while Onii-chan ignored the intricate details (as usual) and focused more on the possibility of a fight. Hibari-san didn't say anything when Tsuna told him, but Tsuna suspected that was because Hibari-san didn't want to waste the effort to talk to someone he deemed weak. At least, Hibari-san didn't straight up refuse.
"I see," Iemitsu took the cup of tea gratefully when Nana handed it to him. "Your tea is always delicious."
His mother smiled, but the worried look did not leave her face.
"Thank you," Tsuna said when she placed a cup in front of him.
"I apologize for imposing," Basil was calm, but Tsuna could sense that he wanted to leave the room. "But may I use thine bath?"
"Of course," said his mother. "Let me show you the bathroom. I'll grab you a spare towel as well. Do you need clean clothes?"
"I've packed some, thank thee for thine kindness." And with that, Basil and his mother left the kitchen, leaving Tsuna alone with his father. Not that he didn't appreciate their blatant attempt to excuse themselves, it was not necessary.
"Have you packed your things?" Iemitsu asked after taking a sip of tea.
"Yes," Tsuna said. He'd packed the important stuff-his mittens, the Dying Will pills, clothes, and toiletry. There wasn't much that he was going to take with him.
"Good." Iemitsu took another sip of tea.
Tsuna didn't touch his. He watched the ghostly steam rose from the cup, and considered what he wanted to say. "You're heading to Italy too?"
"Of course," Iemitsu replied. "But I won't be going with you. I have business to take care of in Japan first."
"What do you have to take care of?" Tsuna immediately thought of his mother.
"I have to make sure the airplane incident is closed as quietly as possible," Iemitsu said.
"Oh." Tsuna had known. He had hoped, but deep down, he had understood that his father wouldn't have come without a work-related purpose, not for him or his mother. He wondered if Iemitsu was talking to him now as a son or as the Vongola boss. However, what Tsuna wanted to ask of Iemitsu was not from Vongola Decimo, and Tsuna tried to convince himself that it mattered very little for a long time now, what his father thought of him. However, what he wanted from Iemitsu could only be delivered from his father.
This was not a request from Vongola Decimo. This was Tsunayoshi Sawada. "I have a favor to ask of you."
"What is it?"
"Please take care of mom."
It was all he wanted from his father. Tsuna didn't need protection, not from his father because he had never received it and never needed it. What little he gained from Iemitsu was for Vongola Decimo, and he understood that.
Iemitsu placed his cup of tea back on the saucer.
Tsuna watched him nervously. "I know you have a lot on your hands right now," said Tsuna. "But I want to ask you to stay here in Japan and watch over her. You don't need to go to Italy."
"You have confidence that you can take care of the situation by yourself?" Iemitsu asked skeptically.
"I won't be alone. I have my guardians with me, and the Varia is also there."
"The Varia does not answer to you."
"Neither do you," Tsuna shot back. Iemitsu said nothing at that. It was true.
"What makes you think I will answer to your request now?" Iemitsu sounded curious.
Tsuna remembered telling Reborn that he wanted to talk to Iemitsu Sawada, not his father. But he didn't want to do that. He wouldn't.
"I'm asking as your son," Tsuna said.
There was a strange silence at first, and then, as if Tsuna had said the magic word, Iemitsu's attitude changed immediately as he bore a giant grin on his face, the same one that he wore when he gave Lambo a bit of sake to ease Lambo's pain. (It was Iemitsu's fault in the first place for not being careful when playing with a child.)
Tsuna wondered about the sanity of the people in his life. Himself included.
"What a fine young man you have become!" His father declared. Tsuna didn't expect that he would be able to activate his father's no-good mode that easily. He hoped that Iemitsu wasn't going to say or do anything embarrassing like-
"Man, I still remember like it was yesterday how you used to wet your bed up until fifth grade!"
-that. Embarassing things like that. Things that made Tsuna felt so small. And of course, because Iemitsu didn't earn his name as No-Good Father for nothing, he began picking his nose and wiping his hand shamelessly on his nice suit pants. Tsuna comforted himself with the fact that nose picking wasn't the most embarrassing thing that his father would have done.
It annoyed Tsuna because Iemitsu always did this as if he was trying to avoid the topic at hand, and it was even worse when Tsuna realized that he used to do the same, pretending that he was no-good and not putting in effort so that it wouldn't hurt as much when he failed. Tsuna had done this so often that eventually, he had managed to convince himself that he was no-good. However, Tsuna wasn't going to let himself or his father get away this time."I just want mom to be safe."
Ietmitsu sobered slightly, and Tsuna considered this a victory. "So you want my first priority to be taking care of Nana."
"Yes," Tsuna said hesitantly, now worried that his mother might be in more trouble with his no-good father than without. "She'll be here alone, and there's no telling what the enemy might do to her because of her association with me. She and…a few others." Kyoko-chan. Haru. I-pin. However, unlike his mother, they were not directly related to him, so it was unlikely that they would be targeted. He would have to ask Reborn about this. But his father understood, and his father was strong. Even if he had never protected Tsuna before when it mattered, he could at least protect what they both called home.
"Would you do this for me?" Tsuna whispered, wanting to look away from his father's gaze but didn't dare to.
"I will do what I can," Iemitsu replied, expression unreadable, and Tsuna found himself thanking his father even though it didn't feel like something that he had to ask for in the first place.
It was funny because Tsuna didn't remember the last time he had ask his father for anything, not even for a toy when he was younger because even the five year-old Tsuna quickly learned that nothing ever came out of it, not when he was still weak. Even then he had known that he would not be acknowledged, not even by Father, if who he was wasn't enough.
Tsuna rubbed his right wrist unconsciously, recalling a memory of when he was eight and did something stupid that resulted in a broken wrist. He didn't remember what he did and he didn't remember why, but he did remember a fleeting foolish hope that his father would come home if he heard the news that Tsuna was hurt.
"Hey dad."
"What is it?"
"Do you remember how I broke my wrist when I was eight?"
Iemitsu raised an eyebrow. "No. Did you really? I didn't think you would do anything strenuous to break a bone."
"Never mind," Tsuna shook his head, heart sinking for reasons that he didn't understand.
"I don't remember much about it either."
<<< Act I. Part 1/2
Act II. Part 1/3 >>>