Apparently I have some issues to deal with...
Tonight, while watching the Gilmore Girls, I started bawling at a commercial for Dove that showed these beautiful little girls and their body-image hang-ups...a 7 year old redhead that hates her freckles, a little Asian girl who wishes she were blonde, a 12 year old who's afraid she's fat. While I totally feel that this is a heartbreaking fact of growing up a girl in America, I have a feeling that I just haven't dealt with some issues I've been having lately. And by dealing with them, I mean allowing myself to wallow in the weirdness and hopelessness and frustration of them by just having a good cry.
I'm not going to deal with the whole unrequited crush thing right now...he was being a little too familiar with me today and it made me have the biggest craving for a hug I would never get. Thank god Chad was at the Burke today, so I got my affection fix (he always greets me with a "Hey Gorgeous!" and a kiss on the cheek), and a little relationship peptalk. Of course, he was there waiting for Victoria to take him to the airport so he could spend the next four months in the Marshall Islands. My new best buddy, the closest thing I've had to a big brother, and now our friendship has been downgraded to email. Sad.
In other crazy relationshippy news, two of my exes have started contacting me again. Arne has taken to sending me emails with silly music surveys and thinly veiled attempts at getting back into my good graces. Sean, who I was with for four years, wants to get together with me next week. I haven't said yes yet. I don't know what to say. Would it be so bad to just meet up for dinner? I guess I'll let him know when I'm available and let him figure it out. Why now?
Paul called last night while I was getting ready for soccer...I don't want to go out with him again, so I didn't make any more plans with him. Steve is coming over tomorrow, and we have tickets for a concert next week, and although I do enjoy spending time with him I think things are just cooling off. Which is good, because I'm working up the nerve to ask out Isaac, of Coffee & Comics fame. He was pretty interested in my working at the Aquarium when we had our tuesday chat today...a good sign? =)
Then again, I am pretty damn happy with my female friendships lately...Maychel and I are going to a show on thursday, where we will likely meet up with my judgemental partner in crime, Erin (hehehe) and her supercool boyfriend. My hilarious old friend Amy and I will be catching up next weekend with our old buddy Marc Schneider from high school. I have tentative play dates with Bree and Ingrid and Brittany, and wow...why am I worrying about guys when I've got the best friends a girl could have?
Because I'm a girl and this is what I do...I agonize over everything until a soap commercial makes me cry. I need a confidant. Or a dog.