External Plumbing Increases Your Understanding of Bikes*
Today in bike store happenings:
A customer and her father have asked me to show them our bike carrier racks. I have ascertained from the customer that she wants a good, basic rack on which to carry her things for school. She has her bike with her. I have shown them our basic, everyday rack-the one we put on 90% of the commuter bikes we sell.
ME: That's a good basic rack.
HER: Can I put a milk crate on it?
ME: Sure you can-it'll be heavy, but if that's what you want, you can use bungee cords to attach it, or some people bolt them on.
FATHER: But will it fit on her bike?
ME: Looking at bike, which is a standard 700-C-wheeled commuter Oh yeah. We install about a billion of these on bikes just like this. You can leave it with us-there's a $10 installation fee-or you can install it yourself.
FATHER: Is this the hardware? How does it fit?
ME: showing him It mounts here and here, above the axle, and then it bolts to the frame here.
FATHER: Are you sure it's going to fit?
ME: Yep. Like I said, we install about a billion of these on bikes justs like this.
FATHER: It's not going to sit too low?
ME: Holding the rack where it will sit No, it will be fine. Look, it will sit just about here.
FATHER: Can you ask one of the techs, please?
ME: Looking at my manager, who is 3 feet away Wil, is this rack gonna fit this bike?
WIL: Glancing up from whatever he was doing. She just told you man, yes, it's gonna fit.
FATHER: Thank you so much for translating that for me. I couldn't have understood her.
WIL: Well, she was pretty clear, but it seemed like you were having a hard time.
FATHER: Thank you.
Later on, while he's paying for the rack:
FATHER: I didn't mean to offend you. I just wanted to be sure it would fit.
ME: Oh, geez man, I understand. You just wanted to be sure. How could you know that I might know what I'm talking about?
FATHER: Well, it's just that I wanted to be sure.
ME: Deciding that forcing the issue will do no good. Like I said, it's a standard rack, made for this type of bike. I think it'll work pretty well. Here's your change. Have a good one.
~Exeunt CUSTOMER and FATHER~
* This is what Wil and I agreed, when I told him the customer hadn't wanted to offend me. I mean, why would I be offended when this is a known, historical truth?