Tell Me a Joke
I am back at work today, and it's going pretty well.
I have asked all of my co-workers to think of jokes or silly stories to tell me. I think people have a difficult time knowing what to say at a time like this, so I'm hoping this will help them. Also, I tend to start to cry when people are super-kind and concerned, and I'd prefer to spare some poor co-worker the awkwardness that comes along with my turning into a watering pot.
So far, I have received only one silly story.
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
"Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty ... You're crazy to go to Rome . So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are grouchy, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump.."
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome .
"It was wonderful," explained the woman,"not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a steward who waited on me hand and foot.
"And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, we became separated from the group, and took a wrong turn. We asked a Swiss Guard for help, but he waved us forward into the room, ahead, and as we entered, the Pope walked into the room. We had stumbled into a private audience! He stopped to speak with everyone for a moment, including me!"
"Oh, really! What'd he say ?"
He said: "Who f*cked up your hair?"
Sigh. A very sweet gesture, I say.
Here: have some muppets. We opened the Celebration-thingy with this song (but without Muppets).
I have asked all of my co-workers to think of jokes or silly stories to tell me. I think people have a difficult time knowing what to say at a time like this, so I'm hoping this will help them. Also, I tend to start to cry when people are super-kind and concerned, and I'd prefer to spare some poor co-worker the awkwardness that comes along with my turning into a watering pot.
So far, I have received only one silly story.
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
"Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty ... You're crazy to go to Rome . So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are grouchy, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump.."
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome .
"It was wonderful," explained the woman,"not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a steward who waited on me hand and foot.
"And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, we became separated from the group, and took a wrong turn. We asked a Swiss Guard for help, but he waved us forward into the room, ahead, and as we entered, the Pope walked into the room. We had stumbled into a private audience! He stopped to speak with everyone for a moment, including me!"
"Oh, really! What'd he say ?"
He said: "Who f*cked up your hair?"
Sigh. A very sweet gesture, I say.
Here: have some muppets. We opened the Celebration-thingy with this song (but without Muppets).
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