Epic Crack Crossover Chapter 4
Hey, remember two years ago I had this Pokemon/TGWTG crossover I was writing? And then I started uni and totally lost all my free time? Well, it's been so long that I think it's pretty obvious I can never come back to this, even ignoring all the developments and changes that have gone on with the site since I had to put it on hold. I'll put up a full explanation post later, but for now, here is Chapter 4, last edited all the way back in July 2011, un-beta'd but complete.
Chapter Hub
CHAPTER 4 - In Which There Is a Lot of Training
POKEMON SEEN IN THIS CHAPTER:
Bulbasaur
Charmander
Pachirisu
Taillow
Sentret
As Chick gave him an improvised tour of the city, Critic had to wonder at how he knew so little about it when he'd been living so close. With Vine running around their feet, Chick had taken him to a number of statues and monuments to pokémon and people alike, including the big one to Santa Christ himself, the legendary First Human. Chick had been a bit critical of the legend, but when Critic challenged her, she let it slide and was quick to move on.
Between the fancy statues were the fancy buildings, and Chick pointed out several. Most they just walked past, but they went into one or two to explore. The TV station in the centre of the city was open for trainers (the Bulbasaur at their feet was proof enough for the receptionist), so they walked around the hallways there. Any actual filming was cut off from them, but there were many survey takers in the halls who jumped on them with cameras and questions for their usual "trainer-on-the-street" programs that always seemed to be on.
"I'm hungry again," Chick commented as they left the TV station.
"But we ate lunch just a few hours ago," Critic pointed out. "And you didn't even finish that."
"Saur!" chimed in Vine.
"It's time for afternoon tea then!" Chick cried with a smile. "C'mon, there's a good ice-cream place near here."
"Ice cream?" Critic asked, perking up briefly before deflating again. "Oh wait, I probably shouldn't be wasting my money if you want to be paid back."
Chick smirked, but hid it from the boy before admitting "It's alright, consider this one on me."
Critic blinked in surprise. "Really?"
"Yeah," Chick confirmed. "I'll buy us both ice creams. You need something to cheer you up, anyway. You've been thinking about your Charmander this whole time, I just know you have."
"I have not!" Critic protested, although he secretly agreed with her. It was hard to keep the welfare of his starter off his mind, especially with Chick's running around their feet trying to trip them up half the time.
"You have," Chick replied matter-of-factly. "Now c'mon, ice cream."
Critic scowled, but followed. The call of sweet things was impossible for a kid to resist.
Like at lunch, the two twelve-year-olds sat opposite each other at a table, their food in front of them, quietly eating while Vine slept at Chick's feet. Critic, after commenting that the ice cream (his was chocolate chip, of course) really was as good as Chick had said, was now reflecting on his pokémon journey so far. Just one day had gone by, and he'd already gotten to Blisthumb and taken on the gym leader... he'd lost, but he'd still taken the guy on.
"So," Chick suddenly spoke up, surprising Critic out of his thoughts. "You planning to capture a new pokémon tomorrow to take on the gym?"
Critic blinked. "Um, can't Flare do it on his own?"
Chick narrowed her eyes. "Do you want him injured again?"
Coughing, Critic looked down at his ice cream and muttered "No."
"Then make sure you have some pokéballs tomorrow," Chick continued. "It'd be best to catch the first one that catches your eye, so you can train it with your Charmander."
"His name's Flare," Critic mumbled, looking up.
"Whatever," Chick said, waving her spoon nonchalantly. "Anyway, once you get the hang of what to do, training your pokémon is pretty simple. My dad always said that a good trainer knows how to balance actual training with rest and relaxation. Too much of one side makes you either lazy or cruel." She took a big scoop of her mint green ice cream and put it straight in her mouth.
Critic tapped the side of his bowl with his spoon in thought. "You mean, like all the stuff in the books that goes on about true power coming from befriending your pokémon and stuff? I always thought that was crap."
Chick shook her head as she swallowed her food. "Mm-mm," she said. "You need a good relationship with your pokémon, otherwise they don't fight their hardest or smartest, and are more likely to disobey you or run away." She smiled. "My sister lost a Bellsprout like that. She never paid it much attention, got mad at it one day, and it ran off and never came back. Mom and Dad were furious." She giggled for a second, then stopped and glanced sadly into her ice cream before changing the subject. "Clearly, you've already got that down, though. Even the ice cream hasn't gotten your Charmander off your mind."
"Flare," Critic corrected out of habit. "Y'know, my brother and I never figured that being friends with them was that important." He frowned in thought. "I never really thought about even naming my starter until I met him."
Chick shrugged. "You must be a natural in that area, then."
Critic beamed at the praise.
"Don't let it get to your head," Chick warned. "I'm still sceptical of your ability to train. I'm working you hard, mister." She waved her spoon threateningly. "You take advantage of your rest this afternoon."
The boy couldn't help gulping in nervous anticipation of the next day.
"Good morning!" Chick cheerfully cried as she threw Critic's sheets onto the floor.
"Hey..." Critic weakly protested, instinctively curling up into a ball as he blearily forced his eyes open.
"It's time to collect that Charmander of yours and go out to train!" Chick chirped as she wandered around the room; what she was doing, Critic had no idea. She had opened the window and bright sunlight was streaming onto his face... not that he'd be able to see much without his glasses, anyway.
The boy reached over to grab his glasses and shaded his eyes from the sun, pulling himself to a sitting position. "His name is Flare..." he mumbled.
Chick picked her bag off the floor, resting it on her already-made bed and taking out various items they wouldn't need. "Get dressed. I'm going down to get breakfast, so you'd better be done by the time I get back." She finished emptying her bag and put it on her back. "I'll see you downstairs if you don't take half-an-hour." With that, she trounced out of the room, Vine trotting happily behind her.
Critic stared after the girl for several long seconds before he began to get moving.
"Okay, the plan is to head back once the sun starts to set," Chick said as they left the borders of the city. "We have plenty of supplies for when the pokémon get tired, as well as our own lunch, so we should be set until then."
"Why are you telling me this?" Critic complained, ignoring Vine and Flare at his feet. "I already know this!"
Chick glanced at the fourth wall. "Just making sure you remember."
Critic rolled his eyes, awkwardly trying to scratch under the cast on his left arm.
"Anyway, first thing in training," Chick continued, "you need to find some wild pokémon, so you don't go up against Joe with just your Charmander again."
Critic opened his mouth to correct the girl, but decided not to bother, following her as she walked out into the trees of the never-ending forests of their world. "I hope the pokémon are more plentiful here than they have been around my village lately," he mumbled instead.
"Oh sure," Chick said, stopping and looking at a cluster of bushes by the path. "First rule of travelling is that you don't leave the path. Good thing about that is that the wild pokémon that want a fight will find you."
Blinking in surprise, Critic repeated "Find you? I didn't realize pokémon would do that."
Chick looked back with a knowing smile. "They're more intelligent than you think," she said, walking further down the path. "Just stick to the side of the road and keep a lookout for movement. They tend to hide in the long grass, or failing that, the bushes."
Sure enough, the road up ahead seemed to be covered in long grass, slightly trampled from the various people and cars travelling over it, and Chick was leisurely strolling towards it, her eyes trained on the forest next to her. Vine was happily trotting behind her, grinning goofily again. Critic sighed as he watched her walk off, and looked down to see Flare looking around the path curiously, before looking up to smile. "Char?"
Critic sighed. "Yep, let's get going," he answered, reluctantly following Chick. Feeling bored, he looked up at the forest trees. Up here, the trees were taller than back at home in Dark Maze. All the books said that the pokémon were weakest around Blisthumb and Dark Maze, so it was the perfect place for a starting trainer to build up their strength.
A small movement in the tree-tops caught Critic's attention, and he stopped in his tracks, sending Flare bumping into the back of his leg. "Char!" he cried, but quickly followed his trainer's gaze up to the trees.
Up high in the treetops was a small pokémon about Flare's size, white-blue and sporting a long and thick curled tail with spines on the end. It bounced happily along a branch to pick some leaves, then stopped and looked down, instantly catching Critic's gaze and freezing.
For several moments, the pokémon and trainer stared at each other. Neither did anything for a while, before eventually Critic pulled his Pokédex out of his pocket and lifted it up to point at the pokémon in the tree.
NATIONAL POKEDEX ENTRY #417 - PACHIRISU
TYPE/S: ELECTRIC
A squirrel-like pokémon, Pachirisu live in the treetops of Sinnoh and Kickassia, and sometimes spotted in the Safari Zone in Kanto. Originally native to the island of Sinnoh, Pachirisu are similar in many ways to the Pikachu line of the mainland and Minun and Plusle of the island of Hoenn. They have coloured pouches on their cheeks in which they make and store electricity, and can be seen rubbing cheeks with other Pachirisu to share their electricity stores. In addition to the pouches, they have spines on their tails that they use to shoot electricity at their foes. If their electric stores run low, they can regain it quickly using furballs full of static energy that they make in advance and store in tree holes, where they also sleep and store their berries.
"Huh," Critic said as he finished reading the entry. "An electric pokémon sounds good. I just gotta lure it down-" He looked up, only to find that the Pachirisu had disappeared. "... here..." he mumbled. "Dammit, now I have to find another one!"
"Charmander!" cried Flare, waving his arms in excitement.
"Not now, Flare, I'm trying to find where that Pachirisu went!" Critic replied, still scanning the tree-tops.
"Pachi?"
Critic jumped and looked down. Sitting calmly on the road, staring up at him, was the same Pachirisu he had been watching before. Now it was so much closer, Critic could see the yellow spots on its cheeks that marked its electric pouches, as well as its big incisors that jutted out even when the pokémon’s mouth was closed. Flare was standing in front of his trainer, looking back and forth excitedly, waiting for the order to attack. The Pachirisu seemed similarly excited, although was better at controlling it, its black eyes sparkling with mischief.
"Um, okay," Critic said, finally getting the hint both pokémon were giving him. "Flare, just Scratch it for now!" He pulled off his bag to dig out his spare pokéballs.
"Char!" cried Flare, jumping forward and waving his claws. The Pachirisu squeaked in response and darted out of the way, electricity crackling around its cheeks.
"Wow, that's things fast," Critic mumbled to himself, finally pulling out a pokéball. "Remember not to hurt it too bad, Flare!" he cried.
Flare glanced back at his owner and nodded, then pounced on the squirrel to give it a good scratch across the face.
"Risu!" the electric pokémon cried, taking the hit willingly, although it glowed slightly red when the blow connected.
Curious as to what the Pachirisu was doing, Critic ordered "Scratch it again, Flare!"
The Charmander frowned in confusion at the squirrel for a moment, before reaching out and scratching it again, watching as the red glow briefly returned.
Suddenly, the Pachirisu smirked, and, crying "PACHIIII!", it leaped on Flare and wailed on him, glowing red and causing about twice as much damage to him as Flare had inflicted on it.
"Chaaar!" Flare cried, jumping back out of the squirrel's way and retreating to his trainer for further orders. "Mander!"
The glow on the Pachirisu faded, and it watched the human and lizard with a smug smile.
"Wow, it's good," Critic muttered. "Um, try Tail Whip," Critic told Flare. "Remember not to hurt it too bad!"
The Charmander nodded again, then turned and ran back to the Pachirisu, swinging around at the last moment to swing his flaming tail into the squirrel's side.
Surprisingly, the Pachirisu fell down, and looked pityingly up at the fire-lizard. "Pachirisuuuuu," it meekly cried.
"Char," Flare muttered, looking sorry for his opponent.
"Flare!" Critic cried. "One more Scratch and I think we've got it!"
The fire-lizard, grimaced, and quickly swiped the squirrel's head with his claws, not noticing the annoyed glare the Pachirisu was giving him in return.
Critic grinned, then pressed the button on the pokéball in his hand to expand it to full size. "Capture time!" he whispered to himself, before throwing it at the Pachirisu, managing to land the ball square on the squirrel's forehead. Instantly, the pokémon vanished in a cloud of red energy that was sucked into the pokéball, which fell to the ground in front of Flare, who just peered down at it, tapping his claws together with a hopeful grin.
The pokéball in the grass shook once, twice, and then finally came to a rest, two tiny sparks flying out from the button and almost hitting Flare in the face, sending him jumping back in surprise.
"YES!" Critic shouted, jumping once in glee before running to Flare's side to retrieve the pokéball. "Now I have an electric pokémon!" he excitedly told Flare as he picked it up and looked at it. "Hmm, what should we call him? Or her?"
"Charmander?" Flare suggested.
Critic paused. "Um, I don't really know what you said, Flare," he pointed out.
The Charmander sighed.
Critic stared at the pokéball for a while, thinking to himself. "I guess the only name that comes to mind is Spark," he said, before smiling at Flare. "Even his pokéball was sparking at you, Flare!"
"Char!" Flare objected, pouting.
Suddenly, Chick came running back down the path, Vine at her heels. "There you are!" she called. "I thought you were running off so you didn't have to repay me!"
Critic shook his head, holding up the pokéball. "I got a pokémon!" he boasted, grinning.
"Well done," Chick sarcastically remarked. "What is it?"
Slightly deflated that Chick didn't care about his first ever capture, Critic tossed the ball to the ground, where it bounced, opened, and returned to his hand. The newly-named Spark the Pachirisu reformed on the ground, the cuts Flare's scratch attacks had left still visible on his face. "Oh no, he's still hurt!" Critic cried, kneeling down to the squirrel's side as Spark beamed and starting rubbing his head on his new trainer's leg.
Chick rolled her eyes, kneeling next to Critic as she pulled a white-and-purple spray bottle out of her bag. "Stop being a spaz and just potion it up," she said, gently spraying the Pachirisu's face. Although Spark squeaked and tried his best to flee between Critic's knees, the cuts on his face quickly healed, leaving no marks where they had been.
Critic scratched Spark behind the ears. "Gee, I think that stings," he mentioned to Chick. "You okay, Spark?"
The Pachirisu looked up to Critic, his face a picture of confusion. "Risu?"
Critic gulped nervously. "Spark," he repeated. "It's your name."
Spark blinked twice, then slowly rotated his head to one side, his expression not changing.
Chick bit her lip, trying hard not to smirk. "I don't think he likes it," she said.
Critic pouted. "Well, I'm not changing it!" he insisted, getting back up to his feet. "Weren't we going to train today?" he reminded Chick, crossing his arms.
"Right," the girl replied, still struggling not to smirk as she stood up. "Let's go then."
The day quickly became very repetitive, and passed very slowly. Most of the pokémon roaming around were, as Chick called them, "common normal-types that exist only for training with", and were displaced from their usual habitats closer to Dark Maze. In fact, Critic recognised most of them from the hours he spent staring into the forest when he was younger. Even though he already knew about them, as Chick and Vine showed off their talents, he pulled out his Pokédex to look them up anyway.
After every battle, Chick or Critic would pull out another potion to heal up the pokémon that had fought, and they took turns fighting the wild pokémon that approached them on the path. Although Chick had two pokémon herself, she used Vine whenever it was her turn, telling Critic that her other pokémon was plenty strong already. The only time she contemplated switching to her more capable mysterious second pokémon was when she ended up having to fight a Taillow, who had the type-advantage over poor Vine. Luckily, Vine just barely managed to win out in the end.
NATIONAL POKEDEX ENTRY #276 - TAILLOW
TYPE/S: NORMAL/FLYING
A tiny swallow-like bird pokémon, Taillow are found in Hoenn almost exclusively, but are starting to appear in Johto and Kickassia in heavily forested areas.
Taillow are a summer season bird, flying great distances to stay with the warmer weather, managing an average of a hundred and eighty miles a day. They have a gutsy spirit that allows them to take on tough foes without fear, and gives them a surprising edge in battle. They are themselves tough in a way that belies their rather fragile appearance, able to survive a long time between meals. They take their time finding their food, hunting for hours for the most tasty of prey that they can find.
Spark eventually took to his name, and he and Flare ran around playing in the background whenever they weren't being called on to fight a wild pokémon. Spark had special fun whenever he happened to be called up against a bird, as he had the type advantage, and usually took them out with two or three hits. Flare was generally better off than Vine in that he had no disadvantages, but he also didn't have any advantages like Spark had, so he just did his best against whatever he had, learning to use his tail flame and his steadily more powerful fire breath to win.
It was nearly the end of the day when Critic remembered that, while he was checking out the wild pokémon he already knew for the fun of it, he had never looked up Vine either. The Bulbasaur and her trainer were engaged currently against a rather stubborn Sentret, so he pulled out his Pokédex to look both pokémon up.
NATIONAL POKEDEX ENTRY #161 - SENTRET
TYPE/S: NORMAL
Classified as a scout pokémon, Sentret are found in abundance in Johto, but also appear in Kanto, Sinnoh and Kickassia in smaller numbers.
Sentret prefer meadows and grassy fields, balancing on the end of their long tails to allow them to scan wide areas for friends and enemies alike. They are very nervous and cautious pokémon, and usually hang around in groups, appointing lookouts to keep an eye out for danger. If a lookout spots an enemy, it will warn the others by screeching loudly and hitting the ground with its tail, at which point the Sentret scatter and flee to their underground burrows and hideouts.
NATIONAL POKEDEX ENTRY #001 - BULBASAUR
TYPE/S: GRASS/POISON
Native to the Kanto region, Bulbasaur were beginning to die out before being saved by Professor Samuel Oak for giving out to starting Pokémon Trainers. They have also been used for this in the Kickassia region.
A seed-type pokémon, Bulbasaur is best known for the nutrient-filled seed on its back, from which it takes nourishment for some time after birth. As Bulbasaur's body grows, so does the seed. The seed stores energy inside it's bulb, allowing Bulbasaur to go for days without a morsel of food. It eventually sprouts as the pokémon grows, but stays hidden in the bulb until Bulbasaur evolves. When the time comes to evolve, wild Bulbasaur group together with Ivysaur and Venusaur and evolve in groups. It can sprout vines from under its bulb for use in battle.
Critic raised an eyebrow, looking up as Vine pounced on the Sentret, pinning it to the ground. "Hey Chick," he called.
"Not now!" Chick snapped, cheering her pokémon on. "Go on, Vine! Vine-whip it!"
The Bulbasaur released the Sentret, then sprouted a vine from under her bulb and smacked the flailing normal-type, knocking its tail from underneath it.
"I didn't know Bulbasaur were poison-type too," Critic continued, having ignored Chick's shouting.
Chick sighed, looking over to the boy. "Well, duh," she said. "Only starter ever that has two types right at the beginning." She looked back over to the battle, but apparently the Sentret had thrown the 'I give up' signal to Vine and was leaving. "Damn," she muttered. "How is it that only the pokémon know when the wild one has had enough?" She crossed her arms, pouting. This had been a common question throughout the day, but no matter how often Critic suggested that maybe the pokémon just SPOKE to each other, Chick would just snap that Critic was stupid and his idea was stupid and could he shut up before she shoved a branch down his throat please?
Critic looked up at the sky. "Actually, it's starting to get dark. I think we should head back."
Chick looked up to the setting sun and nodded. "True. Alright then, let's go." She recalled Vine, picked up her bag and started heading back to the city. Critic did the same with his two pokémon and followed her. "Y'know," Chick said, "We made a lot of progress today. I think you might actually be ready to take on the Gym again tomorrow."
"Really?" Critic asked.
"Don't get cocky, newbie," Chick added, eyebrow raised. "You might still lose. You both have two pokémon, but his are still stronger than yours. Most people get three pokémon before they take him on at least."
Critic glanced at the trees as the pair got within sight of the city again. "But the only other pokémon we saw today were normal types! Joe has fighting pokémon! They wouldn't stand a chance!"
Nodding in agreement, Chick added "I know, I'm just telling you." There was a long pause. "I'll race you to the Pokémon Centre!" she suddenly cried, charging off ahead.
"Hey, no fair!" Critic called after her, charging off back into Blisthumb City. "Wait for me!"
Chapter Hub
CHAPTER 4 - In Which There Is a Lot of Training
POKEMON SEEN IN THIS CHAPTER:
Bulbasaur
Charmander
Pachirisu
Taillow
Sentret
As Chick gave him an improvised tour of the city, Critic had to wonder at how he knew so little about it when he'd been living so close. With Vine running around their feet, Chick had taken him to a number of statues and monuments to pokémon and people alike, including the big one to Santa Christ himself, the legendary First Human. Chick had been a bit critical of the legend, but when Critic challenged her, she let it slide and was quick to move on.
Between the fancy statues were the fancy buildings, and Chick pointed out several. Most they just walked past, but they went into one or two to explore. The TV station in the centre of the city was open for trainers (the Bulbasaur at their feet was proof enough for the receptionist), so they walked around the hallways there. Any actual filming was cut off from them, but there were many survey takers in the halls who jumped on them with cameras and questions for their usual "trainer-on-the-street" programs that always seemed to be on.
"I'm hungry again," Chick commented as they left the TV station.
"But we ate lunch just a few hours ago," Critic pointed out. "And you didn't even finish that."
"Saur!" chimed in Vine.
"It's time for afternoon tea then!" Chick cried with a smile. "C'mon, there's a good ice-cream place near here."
"Ice cream?" Critic asked, perking up briefly before deflating again. "Oh wait, I probably shouldn't be wasting my money if you want to be paid back."
Chick smirked, but hid it from the boy before admitting "It's alright, consider this one on me."
Critic blinked in surprise. "Really?"
"Yeah," Chick confirmed. "I'll buy us both ice creams. You need something to cheer you up, anyway. You've been thinking about your Charmander this whole time, I just know you have."
"I have not!" Critic protested, although he secretly agreed with her. It was hard to keep the welfare of his starter off his mind, especially with Chick's running around their feet trying to trip them up half the time.
"You have," Chick replied matter-of-factly. "Now c'mon, ice cream."
Critic scowled, but followed. The call of sweet things was impossible for a kid to resist.
Like at lunch, the two twelve-year-olds sat opposite each other at a table, their food in front of them, quietly eating while Vine slept at Chick's feet. Critic, after commenting that the ice cream (his was chocolate chip, of course) really was as good as Chick had said, was now reflecting on his pokémon journey so far. Just one day had gone by, and he'd already gotten to Blisthumb and taken on the gym leader... he'd lost, but he'd still taken the guy on.
"So," Chick suddenly spoke up, surprising Critic out of his thoughts. "You planning to capture a new pokémon tomorrow to take on the gym?"
Critic blinked. "Um, can't Flare do it on his own?"
Chick narrowed her eyes. "Do you want him injured again?"
Coughing, Critic looked down at his ice cream and muttered "No."
"Then make sure you have some pokéballs tomorrow," Chick continued. "It'd be best to catch the first one that catches your eye, so you can train it with your Charmander."
"His name's Flare," Critic mumbled, looking up.
"Whatever," Chick said, waving her spoon nonchalantly. "Anyway, once you get the hang of what to do, training your pokémon is pretty simple. My dad always said that a good trainer knows how to balance actual training with rest and relaxation. Too much of one side makes you either lazy or cruel." She took a big scoop of her mint green ice cream and put it straight in her mouth.
Critic tapped the side of his bowl with his spoon in thought. "You mean, like all the stuff in the books that goes on about true power coming from befriending your pokémon and stuff? I always thought that was crap."
Chick shook her head as she swallowed her food. "Mm-mm," she said. "You need a good relationship with your pokémon, otherwise they don't fight their hardest or smartest, and are more likely to disobey you or run away." She smiled. "My sister lost a Bellsprout like that. She never paid it much attention, got mad at it one day, and it ran off and never came back. Mom and Dad were furious." She giggled for a second, then stopped and glanced sadly into her ice cream before changing the subject. "Clearly, you've already got that down, though. Even the ice cream hasn't gotten your Charmander off your mind."
"Flare," Critic corrected out of habit. "Y'know, my brother and I never figured that being friends with them was that important." He frowned in thought. "I never really thought about even naming my starter until I met him."
Chick shrugged. "You must be a natural in that area, then."
Critic beamed at the praise.
"Don't let it get to your head," Chick warned. "I'm still sceptical of your ability to train. I'm working you hard, mister." She waved her spoon threateningly. "You take advantage of your rest this afternoon."
The boy couldn't help gulping in nervous anticipation of the next day.
"Good morning!" Chick cheerfully cried as she threw Critic's sheets onto the floor.
"Hey..." Critic weakly protested, instinctively curling up into a ball as he blearily forced his eyes open.
"It's time to collect that Charmander of yours and go out to train!" Chick chirped as she wandered around the room; what she was doing, Critic had no idea. She had opened the window and bright sunlight was streaming onto his face... not that he'd be able to see much without his glasses, anyway.
The boy reached over to grab his glasses and shaded his eyes from the sun, pulling himself to a sitting position. "His name is Flare..." he mumbled.
Chick picked her bag off the floor, resting it on her already-made bed and taking out various items they wouldn't need. "Get dressed. I'm going down to get breakfast, so you'd better be done by the time I get back." She finished emptying her bag and put it on her back. "I'll see you downstairs if you don't take half-an-hour." With that, she trounced out of the room, Vine trotting happily behind her.
Critic stared after the girl for several long seconds before he began to get moving.
"Okay, the plan is to head back once the sun starts to set," Chick said as they left the borders of the city. "We have plenty of supplies for when the pokémon get tired, as well as our own lunch, so we should be set until then."
"Why are you telling me this?" Critic complained, ignoring Vine and Flare at his feet. "I already know this!"
Chick glanced at the fourth wall. "Just making sure you remember."
Critic rolled his eyes, awkwardly trying to scratch under the cast on his left arm.
"Anyway, first thing in training," Chick continued, "you need to find some wild pokémon, so you don't go up against Joe with just your Charmander again."
Critic opened his mouth to correct the girl, but decided not to bother, following her as she walked out into the trees of the never-ending forests of their world. "I hope the pokémon are more plentiful here than they have been around my village lately," he mumbled instead.
"Oh sure," Chick said, stopping and looking at a cluster of bushes by the path. "First rule of travelling is that you don't leave the path. Good thing about that is that the wild pokémon that want a fight will find you."
Blinking in surprise, Critic repeated "Find you? I didn't realize pokémon would do that."
Chick looked back with a knowing smile. "They're more intelligent than you think," she said, walking further down the path. "Just stick to the side of the road and keep a lookout for movement. They tend to hide in the long grass, or failing that, the bushes."
Sure enough, the road up ahead seemed to be covered in long grass, slightly trampled from the various people and cars travelling over it, and Chick was leisurely strolling towards it, her eyes trained on the forest next to her. Vine was happily trotting behind her, grinning goofily again. Critic sighed as he watched her walk off, and looked down to see Flare looking around the path curiously, before looking up to smile. "Char?"
Critic sighed. "Yep, let's get going," he answered, reluctantly following Chick. Feeling bored, he looked up at the forest trees. Up here, the trees were taller than back at home in Dark Maze. All the books said that the pokémon were weakest around Blisthumb and Dark Maze, so it was the perfect place for a starting trainer to build up their strength.
A small movement in the tree-tops caught Critic's attention, and he stopped in his tracks, sending Flare bumping into the back of his leg. "Char!" he cried, but quickly followed his trainer's gaze up to the trees.
Up high in the treetops was a small pokémon about Flare's size, white-blue and sporting a long and thick curled tail with spines on the end. It bounced happily along a branch to pick some leaves, then stopped and looked down, instantly catching Critic's gaze and freezing.
For several moments, the pokémon and trainer stared at each other. Neither did anything for a while, before eventually Critic pulled his Pokédex out of his pocket and lifted it up to point at the pokémon in the tree.
NATIONAL POKEDEX ENTRY #417 - PACHIRISU
TYPE/S: ELECTRIC
A squirrel-like pokémon, Pachirisu live in the treetops of Sinnoh and Kickassia, and sometimes spotted in the Safari Zone in Kanto. Originally native to the island of Sinnoh, Pachirisu are similar in many ways to the Pikachu line of the mainland and Minun and Plusle of the island of Hoenn. They have coloured pouches on their cheeks in which they make and store electricity, and can be seen rubbing cheeks with other Pachirisu to share their electricity stores. In addition to the pouches, they have spines on their tails that they use to shoot electricity at their foes. If their electric stores run low, they can regain it quickly using furballs full of static energy that they make in advance and store in tree holes, where they also sleep and store their berries.
"Huh," Critic said as he finished reading the entry. "An electric pokémon sounds good. I just gotta lure it down-" He looked up, only to find that the Pachirisu had disappeared. "... here..." he mumbled. "Dammit, now I have to find another one!"
"Charmander!" cried Flare, waving his arms in excitement.
"Not now, Flare, I'm trying to find where that Pachirisu went!" Critic replied, still scanning the tree-tops.
"Pachi?"
Critic jumped and looked down. Sitting calmly on the road, staring up at him, was the same Pachirisu he had been watching before. Now it was so much closer, Critic could see the yellow spots on its cheeks that marked its electric pouches, as well as its big incisors that jutted out even when the pokémon’s mouth was closed. Flare was standing in front of his trainer, looking back and forth excitedly, waiting for the order to attack. The Pachirisu seemed similarly excited, although was better at controlling it, its black eyes sparkling with mischief.
"Um, okay," Critic said, finally getting the hint both pokémon were giving him. "Flare, just Scratch it for now!" He pulled off his bag to dig out his spare pokéballs.
"Char!" cried Flare, jumping forward and waving his claws. The Pachirisu squeaked in response and darted out of the way, electricity crackling around its cheeks.
"Wow, that's things fast," Critic mumbled to himself, finally pulling out a pokéball. "Remember not to hurt it too bad, Flare!" he cried.
Flare glanced back at his owner and nodded, then pounced on the squirrel to give it a good scratch across the face.
"Risu!" the electric pokémon cried, taking the hit willingly, although it glowed slightly red when the blow connected.
Curious as to what the Pachirisu was doing, Critic ordered "Scratch it again, Flare!"
The Charmander frowned in confusion at the squirrel for a moment, before reaching out and scratching it again, watching as the red glow briefly returned.
Suddenly, the Pachirisu smirked, and, crying "PACHIIII!", it leaped on Flare and wailed on him, glowing red and causing about twice as much damage to him as Flare had inflicted on it.
"Chaaar!" Flare cried, jumping back out of the squirrel's way and retreating to his trainer for further orders. "Mander!"
The glow on the Pachirisu faded, and it watched the human and lizard with a smug smile.
"Wow, it's good," Critic muttered. "Um, try Tail Whip," Critic told Flare. "Remember not to hurt it too bad!"
The Charmander nodded again, then turned and ran back to the Pachirisu, swinging around at the last moment to swing his flaming tail into the squirrel's side.
Surprisingly, the Pachirisu fell down, and looked pityingly up at the fire-lizard. "Pachirisuuuuu," it meekly cried.
"Char," Flare muttered, looking sorry for his opponent.
"Flare!" Critic cried. "One more Scratch and I think we've got it!"
The fire-lizard, grimaced, and quickly swiped the squirrel's head with his claws, not noticing the annoyed glare the Pachirisu was giving him in return.
Critic grinned, then pressed the button on the pokéball in his hand to expand it to full size. "Capture time!" he whispered to himself, before throwing it at the Pachirisu, managing to land the ball square on the squirrel's forehead. Instantly, the pokémon vanished in a cloud of red energy that was sucked into the pokéball, which fell to the ground in front of Flare, who just peered down at it, tapping his claws together with a hopeful grin.
The pokéball in the grass shook once, twice, and then finally came to a rest, two tiny sparks flying out from the button and almost hitting Flare in the face, sending him jumping back in surprise.
"YES!" Critic shouted, jumping once in glee before running to Flare's side to retrieve the pokéball. "Now I have an electric pokémon!" he excitedly told Flare as he picked it up and looked at it. "Hmm, what should we call him? Or her?"
"Charmander?" Flare suggested.
Critic paused. "Um, I don't really know what you said, Flare," he pointed out.
The Charmander sighed.
Critic stared at the pokéball for a while, thinking to himself. "I guess the only name that comes to mind is Spark," he said, before smiling at Flare. "Even his pokéball was sparking at you, Flare!"
"Char!" Flare objected, pouting.
Suddenly, Chick came running back down the path, Vine at her heels. "There you are!" she called. "I thought you were running off so you didn't have to repay me!"
Critic shook his head, holding up the pokéball. "I got a pokémon!" he boasted, grinning.
"Well done," Chick sarcastically remarked. "What is it?"
Slightly deflated that Chick didn't care about his first ever capture, Critic tossed the ball to the ground, where it bounced, opened, and returned to his hand. The newly-named Spark the Pachirisu reformed on the ground, the cuts Flare's scratch attacks had left still visible on his face. "Oh no, he's still hurt!" Critic cried, kneeling down to the squirrel's side as Spark beamed and starting rubbing his head on his new trainer's leg.
Chick rolled her eyes, kneeling next to Critic as she pulled a white-and-purple spray bottle out of her bag. "Stop being a spaz and just potion it up," she said, gently spraying the Pachirisu's face. Although Spark squeaked and tried his best to flee between Critic's knees, the cuts on his face quickly healed, leaving no marks where they had been.
Critic scratched Spark behind the ears. "Gee, I think that stings," he mentioned to Chick. "You okay, Spark?"
The Pachirisu looked up to Critic, his face a picture of confusion. "Risu?"
Critic gulped nervously. "Spark," he repeated. "It's your name."
Spark blinked twice, then slowly rotated his head to one side, his expression not changing.
Chick bit her lip, trying hard not to smirk. "I don't think he likes it," she said.
Critic pouted. "Well, I'm not changing it!" he insisted, getting back up to his feet. "Weren't we going to train today?" he reminded Chick, crossing his arms.
"Right," the girl replied, still struggling not to smirk as she stood up. "Let's go then."
The day quickly became very repetitive, and passed very slowly. Most of the pokémon roaming around were, as Chick called them, "common normal-types that exist only for training with", and were displaced from their usual habitats closer to Dark Maze. In fact, Critic recognised most of them from the hours he spent staring into the forest when he was younger. Even though he already knew about them, as Chick and Vine showed off their talents, he pulled out his Pokédex to look them up anyway.
After every battle, Chick or Critic would pull out another potion to heal up the pokémon that had fought, and they took turns fighting the wild pokémon that approached them on the path. Although Chick had two pokémon herself, she used Vine whenever it was her turn, telling Critic that her other pokémon was plenty strong already. The only time she contemplated switching to her more capable mysterious second pokémon was when she ended up having to fight a Taillow, who had the type-advantage over poor Vine. Luckily, Vine just barely managed to win out in the end.
NATIONAL POKEDEX ENTRY #276 - TAILLOW
TYPE/S: NORMAL/FLYING
A tiny swallow-like bird pokémon, Taillow are found in Hoenn almost exclusively, but are starting to appear in Johto and Kickassia in heavily forested areas.
Taillow are a summer season bird, flying great distances to stay with the warmer weather, managing an average of a hundred and eighty miles a day. They have a gutsy spirit that allows them to take on tough foes without fear, and gives them a surprising edge in battle. They are themselves tough in a way that belies their rather fragile appearance, able to survive a long time between meals. They take their time finding their food, hunting for hours for the most tasty of prey that they can find.
Spark eventually took to his name, and he and Flare ran around playing in the background whenever they weren't being called on to fight a wild pokémon. Spark had special fun whenever he happened to be called up against a bird, as he had the type advantage, and usually took them out with two or three hits. Flare was generally better off than Vine in that he had no disadvantages, but he also didn't have any advantages like Spark had, so he just did his best against whatever he had, learning to use his tail flame and his steadily more powerful fire breath to win.
It was nearly the end of the day when Critic remembered that, while he was checking out the wild pokémon he already knew for the fun of it, he had never looked up Vine either. The Bulbasaur and her trainer were engaged currently against a rather stubborn Sentret, so he pulled out his Pokédex to look both pokémon up.
NATIONAL POKEDEX ENTRY #161 - SENTRET
TYPE/S: NORMAL
Classified as a scout pokémon, Sentret are found in abundance in Johto, but also appear in Kanto, Sinnoh and Kickassia in smaller numbers.
Sentret prefer meadows and grassy fields, balancing on the end of their long tails to allow them to scan wide areas for friends and enemies alike. They are very nervous and cautious pokémon, and usually hang around in groups, appointing lookouts to keep an eye out for danger. If a lookout spots an enemy, it will warn the others by screeching loudly and hitting the ground with its tail, at which point the Sentret scatter and flee to their underground burrows and hideouts.
NATIONAL POKEDEX ENTRY #001 - BULBASAUR
TYPE/S: GRASS/POISON
Native to the Kanto region, Bulbasaur were beginning to die out before being saved by Professor Samuel Oak for giving out to starting Pokémon Trainers. They have also been used for this in the Kickassia region.
A seed-type pokémon, Bulbasaur is best known for the nutrient-filled seed on its back, from which it takes nourishment for some time after birth. As Bulbasaur's body grows, so does the seed. The seed stores energy inside it's bulb, allowing Bulbasaur to go for days without a morsel of food. It eventually sprouts as the pokémon grows, but stays hidden in the bulb until Bulbasaur evolves. When the time comes to evolve, wild Bulbasaur group together with Ivysaur and Venusaur and evolve in groups. It can sprout vines from under its bulb for use in battle.
Critic raised an eyebrow, looking up as Vine pounced on the Sentret, pinning it to the ground. "Hey Chick," he called.
"Not now!" Chick snapped, cheering her pokémon on. "Go on, Vine! Vine-whip it!"
The Bulbasaur released the Sentret, then sprouted a vine from under her bulb and smacked the flailing normal-type, knocking its tail from underneath it.
"I didn't know Bulbasaur were poison-type too," Critic continued, having ignored Chick's shouting.
Chick sighed, looking over to the boy. "Well, duh," she said. "Only starter ever that has two types right at the beginning." She looked back over to the battle, but apparently the Sentret had thrown the 'I give up' signal to Vine and was leaving. "Damn," she muttered. "How is it that only the pokémon know when the wild one has had enough?" She crossed her arms, pouting. This had been a common question throughout the day, but no matter how often Critic suggested that maybe the pokémon just SPOKE to each other, Chick would just snap that Critic was stupid and his idea was stupid and could he shut up before she shoved a branch down his throat please?
Critic looked up at the sky. "Actually, it's starting to get dark. I think we should head back."
Chick looked up to the setting sun and nodded. "True. Alright then, let's go." She recalled Vine, picked up her bag and started heading back to the city. Critic did the same with his two pokémon and followed her. "Y'know," Chick said, "We made a lot of progress today. I think you might actually be ready to take on the Gym again tomorrow."
"Really?" Critic asked.
"Don't get cocky, newbie," Chick added, eyebrow raised. "You might still lose. You both have two pokémon, but his are still stronger than yours. Most people get three pokémon before they take him on at least."
Critic glanced at the trees as the pair got within sight of the city again. "But the only other pokémon we saw today were normal types! Joe has fighting pokémon! They wouldn't stand a chance!"
Nodding in agreement, Chick added "I know, I'm just telling you." There was a long pause. "I'll race you to the Pokémon Centre!" she suddenly cried, charging off ahead.
"Hey, no fair!" Critic called after her, charging off back into Blisthumb City. "Wait for me!"