damn, how true is this...
You know you live in California IF . . .
The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway.
A really great parking space can move you to tears.
You go to the beach and see that real lifeguards actually do look like the lifeguards from Baywatch
Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.
You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice.
Your co-worker has 8 body piercing and none are visible.
You begin to "lie" to your friends about where you are (i.e. "Yeah I'm like 20 minutes away") - when you know that it'll take you at least an hour to get there).
Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
You drive to your neighborhood block party.
You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?
You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English
You don't exterminate your roaches, you smoke them.
Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring,and is named Breeze.
You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
In the "winter", you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day.
You eat a different ethnic food for every meal
A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps, and you don't even notice.
You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're definitely driving.
Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.
You can't remember . ....is pot illegal?
You know what In N Out is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any.
You don't stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll.
You pass an elementary school playground and the children are
all busy with the cells or pagers.
Unlike elsewhere, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks' wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney, really IS George Clooney.
You really can never be too rich or too thin.
You've partied in Tijuana at least once.
Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.
Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers you mail is into S & M and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
You eat pineapple on pizza.
Bars card. For real.
You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 PM Tae Bo class.
Your cell phone has left a permanant impression on the side of your head.
You think that Venice is a beach.
It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents. .
The waitress asks if you'd like "carbs" in your meal.
You mourned for Tupac and not for Biggie
You know who the tinsel underwear dude in Venice Beach is. ( the guitar guy on skates lol)
You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An "818" would never date a "951" and anyone from "310" or "760" is ghetto/second class. Best area code: "626"
Both you AND your dog have therapists
You call 911 and they put you on hold.
You have a gym membership because it's mandatory.
The gym is packed at 3pm...on a workday.
You think you are better than the people who live "Over the Hill". It don't matter which side of the hill you are currently residing, you are just better than them, for whatever reason.
You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald's or a Starbucks.
The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway.
A really great parking space can move you to tears.
You go to the beach and see that real lifeguards actually do look like the lifeguards from Baywatch
Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.
You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don't notice.
Your co-worker has 8 body piercing and none are visible.
You begin to "lie" to your friends about where you are (i.e. "Yeah I'm like 20 minutes away") - when you know that it'll take you at least an hour to get there).
Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
You drive to your neighborhood block party.
You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?
You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English
You don't exterminate your roaches, you smoke them.
Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring,and is named Breeze.
You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
In the "winter", you can go to the beach and ski at Big Bear on the same day.
You eat a different ethnic food for every meal
A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps, and you don't even notice.
You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you're definitely driving.
Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.
You can't remember . ....is pot illegal?
You know what In N Out is and feel bad for all the other states because they don't have any.
You don't stop at a STOP sign, you do a California Roll.
You pass an elementary school playground and the children are
all busy with the cells or pagers.
Unlike elsewhere, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks' wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney, really IS George Clooney.
You really can never be too rich or too thin.
You've partied in Tijuana at least once.
Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
You go to a tanning salon before going to the beach.
Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers you mail is into S & M and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
You eat pineapple on pizza.
Bars card. For real.
You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 PM Tae Bo class.
Your cell phone has left a permanant impression on the side of your head.
You think that Venice is a beach.
It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents. .
The waitress asks if you'd like "carbs" in your meal.
You mourned for Tupac and not for Biggie
You know who the tinsel underwear dude in Venice Beach is. ( the guitar guy on skates lol)
You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An "818" would never date a "951" and anyone from "310" or "760" is ghetto/second class. Best area code: "626"
Both you AND your dog have therapists
You call 911 and they put you on hold.
You have a gym membership because it's mandatory.
The gym is packed at 3pm...on a workday.
You think you are better than the people who live "Over the Hill". It don't matter which side of the hill you are currently residing, you are just better than them, for whatever reason.
You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald's or a Starbucks.