The Happiest Place On Earth (Pays Ride Operators Shit), Chapter Eight
Title: The Happiest Place On Earth (Pays Ride Operators Shit), Part Eight
Fandom: Adam Lambert
Pairing: Adam/Tommy
Author: i_amthecosmos
Rating: R
Word Count: 3,321
Summary: Tommy begins to set some boundaries, and not only with Adam.
Disclaimer: None of this is real, it was entirely made up for fun. I do not make any money off this. Please do not Tweet this to anyone portrayed in a fictional manner. Thank you. Also, keep this away from any high-ranking Disney employees/Miley Cyrus. No particular reason why I’m scorning Miley, just because I guess.
Notes: This chapter is short-ish and mainly addresses Adam’s behavior in the last one.
When Adam woke up the next day, he heard Tommy rushing around the apartment. “Tommy?” He said, then sat bolt upright. “Shit, we didn’t set an alarm for you, did we?” He saw Tommy look up from toweling himself off and nodded while grabbing his pants. “Come on, let me get dressed so I can drive you.”
“You can just drive me to the bus stop, I know it’s early for you.” Tommy’s voice sounded distant and Adam felt the pain of what he said as if Tommy had beamed it right into his mind. “I mean, I don’t want to bother you. Do you work today? You should sleep in.”
“No, it’s okay,” Adam said. “I can drop you off at the bus if that’s quicker, but I can take you too. And I don’t work tonight. And…I’m sorry.” He turned then and grabbed his sweatpants and a shirt. “I’ll put some coffee on if there’s enough time.” He couldn’t look at Tommy right then, afraid his apology wouldn’t be accepted. Then he felt a hand touch his shoulder. It was a soft, hesitant touch and Adam could have punched himself in the face for making Tommy scared of him. He turned around and kissed Tommy, just a soft brush of lips. “So, coffee okay?”
“Maybe I can go without it-I’ve really got to get going.” Adam put on his shoes and they rushed out the door, Tommy still combing his hair. “I’m sorry I made you mad. I just couldn’t, you know?” Adam opened the car door for him, something he never did for his boyfriends-it seemed so old-fashioned.
“I overreacted. And I said some things I didn’t mean,” Adam said, picking his words carefully. “I’m a jealous bitch sometimes, and I’ve been trying hard to be better and not overwhelm you. Don’t apologize, you were trying to tell me what happened to you, and I didn’t want to listen.” They were down the street, and Adam hoped that for once LA traffic wouldn’t be quite so much of a bitch. “Tell me about it tonight, I’ll take you out to dinner if you want.”
“Maybe,” Tommy said. “Shit, I didn’t do my exercises for my ankle. It’s gonna hurt like a motherfucker. And yeah, I’ll try to tell you about it. I don’t know if I can.” Adam reached over and took Tommy’s hand when the traffic made them stop.
“Tell me whatever you want. I meant it when I said I love you.” They lapsed into silence for a minute, and then Adam said quietly “And I shouldn’t have taken my shit with Brad out on you. It wasn’t fair at all. I don’t…” Adam sighed. “I said I’m seeing a side of him I haven’t before, but in a way, I have. He always got defensive when I caught him lying. You didn’t do that.”
Tommy squeezed his hand. “I swear that was the only time. And I accept it, your apology. I know you were just mad. But I want to make it up to you, let me do that.”
“You don’t have to,” Adam said. “It’s okay. Oh fuck, I hope we get you to work on time.” Tommy laughed a little, and Adam smiled. It must be okay, if Tommy could laugh. He would make things better tonight, knew they could.
Tommy was silent for most of the rest of the drive. He thought about Adam’s apology, and he believed it, but he still had a pang from what he’d said. He wanted to be sure that Adam’s anger wouldn’t dominate the relationship, and he thought it wouldn’t. What if this is how it is? he thought. Adam being angry and you having to be perfect? He didn’t know what else to say about it, so he kept quiet.
Adam talked, chattering about small things and where he’d like to take Tommy to dinner. Tommy just made ‘uh-huh’ noises when he was supposed to, until Adam said “Tommy? Shit, are you okay?” Tommy took a deep breath, and decided to risk telling him the truth.
“I’m scared,” he said. “I’m scared I won’t be good enough for you. And I made you mad, and that scares me. I don’t want you to get angry with me, especially that fast. But…you didn’t hold onto it. You didn’t even seem upset when we went to bed. Also, I didn’t tell you…” he had to wait a minute, trying to fight off the terrified feeling in his body. “I love you too. I fell for you fast, and that’s scary too. But…you’re right, we should talk about this when you’re not trying to drive.”
Adam was silent for a minute, and Tommy felt the fear come up his throat before Adam finally spoke. “I’m sorry. I know how you feel when it comes to being scared. But I love you, and it’ll be better. I promise.” They finally hit Anaheim, and Tommy relaxed. He might make it on time after all. “Don’t worry about this at work, baby. Just have a good day and I’ll see you.” They pulled into the employee parking lot with a couple of minutes to spare. Adam leaned in for a kiss and Tommy made it quick, but it still made him shiver a little. Adam did love him, he was sure of it.
But Isaac might have loved him too. At least, he’d said he did.
Tommy got through the day, and nobody said anything about how quiet he was. He ate lunch by himself, and when the night was and he’d finished cleaning up after a bunch of tourists, he watched the last of the fireworks before limping to backstage to get out of costume. When he got out, Adam was waiting for him in the parking lot. “Um, I bought you something,” he said, and he handed Tommy a dvd of the Halloween remake.
“Thanks,” Tommy said. He didn’t want to tell him he already owned it. “Um, my leg hurts, can we go by my place before we have dinner? I need to ice it.” He was feeling awkward, like he didn’t know what to do with Adam now. “And we don’t have to go to dinner if you don’t want. We can just eat at my place.”
“Sure, I don’t want you to be hurting. And I want us to go out. It won’t take too long.” They took off in his car, Adam waving to Taylor and Terrance on his way out. Tommy put a hand on Adam’s shoulder to reassure himself as they took off. It didn’t take quite as long for Adam to drive Tommy home.
When they got there, Adam iced his ankle and helped him with his stretches, then massaged his calf. Tommy thought about how Adam was being a real sweetheart now. He was being so nice. He wished he could trust it more, but after last night he couldn’t help but doubt it. When they left for dinner at a nearby Italian place, Adam held his hand under the table after they’d finished their pasta. “Am I doing too much?” he asked. “Because, I know I go overboard and I don’t want this to make things worse later.”
Tommy paused for a long minute. “It’s okay, but you don’t need to buy me stuff if you feel bad,” he said. He tried to choose his words carefully. “It’s good that you helped me with my leg, but don’t feel like you have to spoil me. I already forgave you.” Tommy took a sip of his beer. “I want to talk about it, but can we go to your place? And oh, I have tomorrow off.”
“Of course,” Adam said, and they split the check.
When Adam took Tommy home this time, he felt apprehensive. I just need to be calm, he thought. He only wants to talk to me. He suddenly felt grateful, Tommy trusted him even after he’d gotten so angry and jealous. “You just tell me whatever you need to,” Adam said, taking his hand as they went inside.
“I might need another beer,” he said, heading toward Adam’s kitchen. Adam took one too, and they sat at his kitchen table in silence. When Tommy broke the quiet, his voice was very soft. “I was with this guy, and he was my first. I never admitted I was bi until I met him. He was separated from his wife.” Tommy played with the label on his beer, pulling at it. “And it was amazing, at first. He was so sweet to me, and I didn’t notice at first that…” he stopped for a minute. Adam didn’t say anything, he just watched as Tommy struggled for the words.
“I didn’t notice that he was isolating me,” he said. “I never met his friends, I never went anywhere with him, we just stayed in my apartment that I had then. He was…he was the drummer of my band, and he got between me and the guys I was playing with and I didn’t even care.” Adam held his breath, not believing what Tommy was telling him. “And after he told me he loved me, he left. He went back to his wife and quit the band and cut me off. The band broke up after that, and I haven’t been in one since. I don’t even play guitar that much anymore. God, it hurts so much to talk about.” Tommy wiped his eyes.
“Oh fuck,” Adam said. “I am so sorry. Oh god, I did the worst thing-I got mad at you right after I told you how I felt. Fuck, fuck.” Then he grabbed Tommy and held him. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you baby.”
“You scared the shit out of me,” Tommy said, and it sounded like he’d been holding it in since last night. Adam pulled back enough to look at his face, but he didn’t let go. “You made me feel like shit, but then all of a sudden it’s better? You didn’t need to do that. I didn’t deserve it.” Adam held his breath, shocked at Tommy’s reaction. Then he calmed down.
“I know,” he said, pulling back so he could get a sip of his beer. “What I did-I just wasn’t thinking. Brad lied to me, and when we would break up it would because of that a lot of the time. And a lot of it was about who he’d been with, so I didn’t-I’m wish I hadn’t reacted that way. I’ve made you scared of me.”
“I wasn’t scared when we went to bed,” Tommy said. “I feel asleep right away, so I guess that means I trust you. But I got scared when I woke up.” Adam inwardly flinched at that, thinking of how he’d stayed up just watching Tommy to make sure he was still there. “The next time we fight, don’t threaten to leave me if I do it again. Hell, maybe we should establish dealbreakers right now.”
“Okay,” Adam said. He felt relief that Tommy wanted to discuss this while they were calm. “Well, lying to hurt me and cheating. That’s about it. I mean, you support me and you let me take care of you, but you tell me when I’m going overboard, and we really seem to click. So that’s the only two things I’d break up with you for. I didn’t realize it was so difficult for you to talk about…that guy.” Adam suddenly realized that Tommy had never named him. Shit, it must really hurt. “So that’s on me.”
Tommy finished the rest of his beer. “I guess cheating and…if you keep some stuff to yourself because you can’t talk about it, that’s fine. But no deliberate lying either. And…I need you to be careful when you are mad about something. I know I just said that, but it’s important. He really did a number on me. I’m still getting over it.” Adam nodded and took Tommy’s hand. “I guess that’s it for now,” he said. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Can we watch a movie or something?”
Adam squeezed his hand. “Sure.” They went to his bedroom and he put Velvet Goldmine in the player, and Tommy cuddled with him as he mouthed the lines. Adam kissed his neck and petted his hair, feeling like he’d gotten a second chance. “Thank you,” he said near the end, and Tommy smiled at him.
“It’s okay. Um, do you want to fuck now? We should have make up sex.” Adam laughed, delighted that Tommy’s forward approach to sex was back, and pulled off his shirt. Tommy shimmied out of his clothes and jumped back on the bed, pulling Adam into his arms. “Pants off now,” he said. “I want to suck your dick.”
“Oh, twist my arm.” Adam pulled his pants off as fast as he could and Tommy was on him immediately, lying down between his spread legs and sucking Adam like his life depended on it. He went down as far as he could, stroking the rest with his hand, and nearly pulled off before doing it again. He kept this up, bobbing in long slow movements, until Adam couldn’t take it anymore. “Baby, I’m going to come if you keep doing that, stop if you don’t want me…” Tommy looked up at him and went down even further and Adam cried out. He came in Tommy’s mouth for the first time, and thrust a little bit, trying to get further. Tommy grunted but didn’t pull off until he was done.
While Adam lay their panting, Tommy slid off the bed and went to the bathroom. Adam heard the sink turn on and he knew that Tommy was spitting. Adam didn’t mind, he just wished Tommy was there so he could hold him. When Tommy came back, he got back on the bed and put his arms around Adam. “Sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for,” Adam said. “We haven’t-I need to show you my papers. I’m clean, but you should know that. We’ve only been together for a little while.”
“ I never let anyone come in my mouth, it was kind of strange for me,” Tommy said. “But I liked it, you got really into it. And yeah, I need to get tested again. Maybe we can do it together.”
“Modern romance,” Adam said, and he looked at Tommy. “Fuck, did you get off just from going down on me?” Tommy laughed, his eyes crinkling. “I mean, fuck.” Tommy just shrugged.
“We can fuck again in a few minutes,” and he nuzzled Adam’s neck.
When Adam woke up in the morning, he blinked at the boy in his bed. Tommy was still asleep, curled up on himself so he barely took up any space on the bed. Adam kissed the side of his neck and was rewarded with a grunt. He got up, trying not to make any noise. When he was up and in his running shorts, he leaned down to kiss Tommy. “Hey,”
“Hmm?” Tommy wasn’t really awake, and Adam didn’t want to shake him. He kissed him again. “Hey,” Tommy whispered, and he opened an eye. “Why are you dressed?” Adam giggled at that.
“I just wanted you to know that I’m going to jog. I’ll be back in about an hour. Just keep sleeping, it won’t be long.” Tommy muttered what sounded like ‘see you’ and curled up even tighter. Adam kissed him again and went out the door.
He thought about last night as he ran down the street. Tommy had been upset at him, he’d told him to back off on the anger, but nothing bad had happened. They were fine, and Tommy went back to being loving and sweet and horny not long after. Adam jogged past the small corner grocery and smiled. He figured it was a good sign.
When he got back, sweaty and winded, Tommy was up, drinking coffee and reading one of Adam’s books. “Hey,” he said. “You woke me up, right?” Adam nodded, confused, and Tommy shook his head, smiling a little. “I was so out of it, I thought I dreamed it at first. But yeah, it’s not like you were gonna go anywhere else this early.”
Adam frowned. “Were you worried?” Tommy shrugged.
“No, not after I saw that you left your phone. Then I knew it was okay. It wasn’t a big deal, I was just like ‘what?’ for a second.” Tommy got up, weight on his good leg, and started looking in his fridge. “Are you hungry? ‘Cause I am.”
“Sure, let me fix you something. Do you want eggs?” For the next hour or so they had breakfast and talked about little things, stuff that had nothing to do with last night. Adam was still learning more about Tommy-how sensitive and intelligent he was, how deeply he felt things. They held hands at the table, and Adam didn’t want to have to drive him home. But he had to go to rehearsal in a couple of hours, so he did.
Tommy kissed Adam goodbye when he dropped him off at his empty apartment. Dave was gone, and he limped in and immediately started doing exercises for his leg. He had pushed it too far yesterday. Later, he went back to his room, stripping and laying on the bed, pain pill and water on the nightstand. The phone rang, and he picked it up without looking at the number.
“Hey, who’s there?” There was a pause, and Tommy got a little nervous. “Adam, are you calling me?” It wasn’t Adam’s ringtone, but maybe he was calling from another phone…
“No.” Tommy almost gasped out loud. He couldn’t believe it, that voice over the phone. It was Isaac.
“Fuck you,” he said, and hung up. Then he curled up in a ball on the bed. Should I call Adam? was his first thought, and that almost made him smile. The first thing he thought about when his fucking ex called was Adam. What if he’s jealous? That sobered him up, and he played with the covers, trying to decide.
I’ll tell him tomorrow. He’s going to work now. Tommy held his pillow, wishing Adam was here to hold him. After a minute, he turned his phone off. He wanted to call the provider and get the number blocked, but he didn’t have the energy now.
He should have looked at the number.
He stared at nothing for a long time, then he got his lazy ass up. It was time to take his mind off both of them and do something he’d be avoiding. He walked over to where his guitars were lined up on the wall, and picked out his favorite. When he took it out of the case, he couldn’t remember why he had been avoiding them. He took it out and played the first song that came to his mind. It was Jeff Buckley’s “Lover, You Should Have Come Over”, and he smiled. Me and Adam should do this together, he thought.
He played until Dave got back, longer than he had since Isaac left him, lost in the music coming from the strings.
Fandom: Adam Lambert
Pairing: Adam/Tommy
Author: i_amthecosmos
Rating: R
Word Count: 3,321
Summary: Tommy begins to set some boundaries, and not only with Adam.
Disclaimer: None of this is real, it was entirely made up for fun. I do not make any money off this. Please do not Tweet this to anyone portrayed in a fictional manner. Thank you. Also, keep this away from any high-ranking Disney employees/Miley Cyrus. No particular reason why I’m scorning Miley, just because I guess.
Notes: This chapter is short-ish and mainly addresses Adam’s behavior in the last one.
When Adam woke up the next day, he heard Tommy rushing around the apartment. “Tommy?” He said, then sat bolt upright. “Shit, we didn’t set an alarm for you, did we?” He saw Tommy look up from toweling himself off and nodded while grabbing his pants. “Come on, let me get dressed so I can drive you.”
“You can just drive me to the bus stop, I know it’s early for you.” Tommy’s voice sounded distant and Adam felt the pain of what he said as if Tommy had beamed it right into his mind. “I mean, I don’t want to bother you. Do you work today? You should sleep in.”
“No, it’s okay,” Adam said. “I can drop you off at the bus if that’s quicker, but I can take you too. And I don’t work tonight. And…I’m sorry.” He turned then and grabbed his sweatpants and a shirt. “I’ll put some coffee on if there’s enough time.” He couldn’t look at Tommy right then, afraid his apology wouldn’t be accepted. Then he felt a hand touch his shoulder. It was a soft, hesitant touch and Adam could have punched himself in the face for making Tommy scared of him. He turned around and kissed Tommy, just a soft brush of lips. “So, coffee okay?”
“Maybe I can go without it-I’ve really got to get going.” Adam put on his shoes and they rushed out the door, Tommy still combing his hair. “I’m sorry I made you mad. I just couldn’t, you know?” Adam opened the car door for him, something he never did for his boyfriends-it seemed so old-fashioned.
“I overreacted. And I said some things I didn’t mean,” Adam said, picking his words carefully. “I’m a jealous bitch sometimes, and I’ve been trying hard to be better and not overwhelm you. Don’t apologize, you were trying to tell me what happened to you, and I didn’t want to listen.” They were down the street, and Adam hoped that for once LA traffic wouldn’t be quite so much of a bitch. “Tell me about it tonight, I’ll take you out to dinner if you want.”
“Maybe,” Tommy said. “Shit, I didn’t do my exercises for my ankle. It’s gonna hurt like a motherfucker. And yeah, I’ll try to tell you about it. I don’t know if I can.” Adam reached over and took Tommy’s hand when the traffic made them stop.
“Tell me whatever you want. I meant it when I said I love you.” They lapsed into silence for a minute, and then Adam said quietly “And I shouldn’t have taken my shit with Brad out on you. It wasn’t fair at all. I don’t…” Adam sighed. “I said I’m seeing a side of him I haven’t before, but in a way, I have. He always got defensive when I caught him lying. You didn’t do that.”
Tommy squeezed his hand. “I swear that was the only time. And I accept it, your apology. I know you were just mad. But I want to make it up to you, let me do that.”
“You don’t have to,” Adam said. “It’s okay. Oh fuck, I hope we get you to work on time.” Tommy laughed a little, and Adam smiled. It must be okay, if Tommy could laugh. He would make things better tonight, knew they could.
Tommy was silent for most of the rest of the drive. He thought about Adam’s apology, and he believed it, but he still had a pang from what he’d said. He wanted to be sure that Adam’s anger wouldn’t dominate the relationship, and he thought it wouldn’t. What if this is how it is? he thought. Adam being angry and you having to be perfect? He didn’t know what else to say about it, so he kept quiet.
Adam talked, chattering about small things and where he’d like to take Tommy to dinner. Tommy just made ‘uh-huh’ noises when he was supposed to, until Adam said “Tommy? Shit, are you okay?” Tommy took a deep breath, and decided to risk telling him the truth.
“I’m scared,” he said. “I’m scared I won’t be good enough for you. And I made you mad, and that scares me. I don’t want you to get angry with me, especially that fast. But…you didn’t hold onto it. You didn’t even seem upset when we went to bed. Also, I didn’t tell you…” he had to wait a minute, trying to fight off the terrified feeling in his body. “I love you too. I fell for you fast, and that’s scary too. But…you’re right, we should talk about this when you’re not trying to drive.”
Adam was silent for a minute, and Tommy felt the fear come up his throat before Adam finally spoke. “I’m sorry. I know how you feel when it comes to being scared. But I love you, and it’ll be better. I promise.” They finally hit Anaheim, and Tommy relaxed. He might make it on time after all. “Don’t worry about this at work, baby. Just have a good day and I’ll see you.” They pulled into the employee parking lot with a couple of minutes to spare. Adam leaned in for a kiss and Tommy made it quick, but it still made him shiver a little. Adam did love him, he was sure of it.
But Isaac might have loved him too. At least, he’d said he did.
Tommy got through the day, and nobody said anything about how quiet he was. He ate lunch by himself, and when the night was and he’d finished cleaning up after a bunch of tourists, he watched the last of the fireworks before limping to backstage to get out of costume. When he got out, Adam was waiting for him in the parking lot. “Um, I bought you something,” he said, and he handed Tommy a dvd of the Halloween remake.
“Thanks,” Tommy said. He didn’t want to tell him he already owned it. “Um, my leg hurts, can we go by my place before we have dinner? I need to ice it.” He was feeling awkward, like he didn’t know what to do with Adam now. “And we don’t have to go to dinner if you don’t want. We can just eat at my place.”
“Sure, I don’t want you to be hurting. And I want us to go out. It won’t take too long.” They took off in his car, Adam waving to Taylor and Terrance on his way out. Tommy put a hand on Adam’s shoulder to reassure himself as they took off. It didn’t take quite as long for Adam to drive Tommy home.
When they got there, Adam iced his ankle and helped him with his stretches, then massaged his calf. Tommy thought about how Adam was being a real sweetheart now. He was being so nice. He wished he could trust it more, but after last night he couldn’t help but doubt it. When they left for dinner at a nearby Italian place, Adam held his hand under the table after they’d finished their pasta. “Am I doing too much?” he asked. “Because, I know I go overboard and I don’t want this to make things worse later.”
Tommy paused for a long minute. “It’s okay, but you don’t need to buy me stuff if you feel bad,” he said. He tried to choose his words carefully. “It’s good that you helped me with my leg, but don’t feel like you have to spoil me. I already forgave you.” Tommy took a sip of his beer. “I want to talk about it, but can we go to your place? And oh, I have tomorrow off.”
“Of course,” Adam said, and they split the check.
When Adam took Tommy home this time, he felt apprehensive. I just need to be calm, he thought. He only wants to talk to me. He suddenly felt grateful, Tommy trusted him even after he’d gotten so angry and jealous. “You just tell me whatever you need to,” Adam said, taking his hand as they went inside.
“I might need another beer,” he said, heading toward Adam’s kitchen. Adam took one too, and they sat at his kitchen table in silence. When Tommy broke the quiet, his voice was very soft. “I was with this guy, and he was my first. I never admitted I was bi until I met him. He was separated from his wife.” Tommy played with the label on his beer, pulling at it. “And it was amazing, at first. He was so sweet to me, and I didn’t notice at first that…” he stopped for a minute. Adam didn’t say anything, he just watched as Tommy struggled for the words.
“I didn’t notice that he was isolating me,” he said. “I never met his friends, I never went anywhere with him, we just stayed in my apartment that I had then. He was…he was the drummer of my band, and he got between me and the guys I was playing with and I didn’t even care.” Adam held his breath, not believing what Tommy was telling him. “And after he told me he loved me, he left. He went back to his wife and quit the band and cut me off. The band broke up after that, and I haven’t been in one since. I don’t even play guitar that much anymore. God, it hurts so much to talk about.” Tommy wiped his eyes.
“Oh fuck,” Adam said. “I am so sorry. Oh god, I did the worst thing-I got mad at you right after I told you how I felt. Fuck, fuck.” Then he grabbed Tommy and held him. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you baby.”
“You scared the shit out of me,” Tommy said, and it sounded like he’d been holding it in since last night. Adam pulled back enough to look at his face, but he didn’t let go. “You made me feel like shit, but then all of a sudden it’s better? You didn’t need to do that. I didn’t deserve it.” Adam held his breath, shocked at Tommy’s reaction. Then he calmed down.
“I know,” he said, pulling back so he could get a sip of his beer. “What I did-I just wasn’t thinking. Brad lied to me, and when we would break up it would because of that a lot of the time. And a lot of it was about who he’d been with, so I didn’t-I’m wish I hadn’t reacted that way. I’ve made you scared of me.”
“I wasn’t scared when we went to bed,” Tommy said. “I feel asleep right away, so I guess that means I trust you. But I got scared when I woke up.” Adam inwardly flinched at that, thinking of how he’d stayed up just watching Tommy to make sure he was still there. “The next time we fight, don’t threaten to leave me if I do it again. Hell, maybe we should establish dealbreakers right now.”
“Okay,” Adam said. He felt relief that Tommy wanted to discuss this while they were calm. “Well, lying to hurt me and cheating. That’s about it. I mean, you support me and you let me take care of you, but you tell me when I’m going overboard, and we really seem to click. So that’s the only two things I’d break up with you for. I didn’t realize it was so difficult for you to talk about…that guy.” Adam suddenly realized that Tommy had never named him. Shit, it must really hurt. “So that’s on me.”
Tommy finished the rest of his beer. “I guess cheating and…if you keep some stuff to yourself because you can’t talk about it, that’s fine. But no deliberate lying either. And…I need you to be careful when you are mad about something. I know I just said that, but it’s important. He really did a number on me. I’m still getting over it.” Adam nodded and took Tommy’s hand. “I guess that’s it for now,” he said. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Can we watch a movie or something?”
Adam squeezed his hand. “Sure.” They went to his bedroom and he put Velvet Goldmine in the player, and Tommy cuddled with him as he mouthed the lines. Adam kissed his neck and petted his hair, feeling like he’d gotten a second chance. “Thank you,” he said near the end, and Tommy smiled at him.
“It’s okay. Um, do you want to fuck now? We should have make up sex.” Adam laughed, delighted that Tommy’s forward approach to sex was back, and pulled off his shirt. Tommy shimmied out of his clothes and jumped back on the bed, pulling Adam into his arms. “Pants off now,” he said. “I want to suck your dick.”
“Oh, twist my arm.” Adam pulled his pants off as fast as he could and Tommy was on him immediately, lying down between his spread legs and sucking Adam like his life depended on it. He went down as far as he could, stroking the rest with his hand, and nearly pulled off before doing it again. He kept this up, bobbing in long slow movements, until Adam couldn’t take it anymore. “Baby, I’m going to come if you keep doing that, stop if you don’t want me…” Tommy looked up at him and went down even further and Adam cried out. He came in Tommy’s mouth for the first time, and thrust a little bit, trying to get further. Tommy grunted but didn’t pull off until he was done.
While Adam lay their panting, Tommy slid off the bed and went to the bathroom. Adam heard the sink turn on and he knew that Tommy was spitting. Adam didn’t mind, he just wished Tommy was there so he could hold him. When Tommy came back, he got back on the bed and put his arms around Adam. “Sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for,” Adam said. “We haven’t-I need to show you my papers. I’m clean, but you should know that. We’ve only been together for a little while.”
“ I never let anyone come in my mouth, it was kind of strange for me,” Tommy said. “But I liked it, you got really into it. And yeah, I need to get tested again. Maybe we can do it together.”
“Modern romance,” Adam said, and he looked at Tommy. “Fuck, did you get off just from going down on me?” Tommy laughed, his eyes crinkling. “I mean, fuck.” Tommy just shrugged.
“We can fuck again in a few minutes,” and he nuzzled Adam’s neck.
When Adam woke up in the morning, he blinked at the boy in his bed. Tommy was still asleep, curled up on himself so he barely took up any space on the bed. Adam kissed the side of his neck and was rewarded with a grunt. He got up, trying not to make any noise. When he was up and in his running shorts, he leaned down to kiss Tommy. “Hey,”
“Hmm?” Tommy wasn’t really awake, and Adam didn’t want to shake him. He kissed him again. “Hey,” Tommy whispered, and he opened an eye. “Why are you dressed?” Adam giggled at that.
“I just wanted you to know that I’m going to jog. I’ll be back in about an hour. Just keep sleeping, it won’t be long.” Tommy muttered what sounded like ‘see you’ and curled up even tighter. Adam kissed him again and went out the door.
He thought about last night as he ran down the street. Tommy had been upset at him, he’d told him to back off on the anger, but nothing bad had happened. They were fine, and Tommy went back to being loving and sweet and horny not long after. Adam jogged past the small corner grocery and smiled. He figured it was a good sign.
When he got back, sweaty and winded, Tommy was up, drinking coffee and reading one of Adam’s books. “Hey,” he said. “You woke me up, right?” Adam nodded, confused, and Tommy shook his head, smiling a little. “I was so out of it, I thought I dreamed it at first. But yeah, it’s not like you were gonna go anywhere else this early.”
Adam frowned. “Were you worried?” Tommy shrugged.
“No, not after I saw that you left your phone. Then I knew it was okay. It wasn’t a big deal, I was just like ‘what?’ for a second.” Tommy got up, weight on his good leg, and started looking in his fridge. “Are you hungry? ‘Cause I am.”
“Sure, let me fix you something. Do you want eggs?” For the next hour or so they had breakfast and talked about little things, stuff that had nothing to do with last night. Adam was still learning more about Tommy-how sensitive and intelligent he was, how deeply he felt things. They held hands at the table, and Adam didn’t want to have to drive him home. But he had to go to rehearsal in a couple of hours, so he did.
Tommy kissed Adam goodbye when he dropped him off at his empty apartment. Dave was gone, and he limped in and immediately started doing exercises for his leg. He had pushed it too far yesterday. Later, he went back to his room, stripping and laying on the bed, pain pill and water on the nightstand. The phone rang, and he picked it up without looking at the number.
“Hey, who’s there?” There was a pause, and Tommy got a little nervous. “Adam, are you calling me?” It wasn’t Adam’s ringtone, but maybe he was calling from another phone…
“No.” Tommy almost gasped out loud. He couldn’t believe it, that voice over the phone. It was Isaac.
“Fuck you,” he said, and hung up. Then he curled up in a ball on the bed. Should I call Adam? was his first thought, and that almost made him smile. The first thing he thought about when his fucking ex called was Adam. What if he’s jealous? That sobered him up, and he played with the covers, trying to decide.
I’ll tell him tomorrow. He’s going to work now. Tommy held his pillow, wishing Adam was here to hold him. After a minute, he turned his phone off. He wanted to call the provider and get the number blocked, but he didn’t have the energy now.
He should have looked at the number.
He stared at nothing for a long time, then he got his lazy ass up. It was time to take his mind off both of them and do something he’d be avoiding. He walked over to where his guitars were lined up on the wall, and picked out his favorite. When he took it out of the case, he couldn’t remember why he had been avoiding them. He took it out and played the first song that came to his mind. It was Jeff Buckley’s “Lover, You Should Have Come Over”, and he smiled. Me and Adam should do this together, he thought.
He played until Dave got back, longer than he had since Isaac left him, lost in the music coming from the strings.