is this the end
the other night we had a massive fight and it has ended for now our relationship we have yelled and faught about it,
we have spoken calmly and quietly and cried about it so much and we have decided its for a 3week break, to help Anfey
get to study and get over this period in uni. He has to go down the academy this week and do a major assignment plus exams
whilst down there and study on top of that,plus work and help his mother around the house. So as much as it is a kick in
the guts to me I have to be the thing he sacrafices now so he can get to where he needs to be at uni and in his life so we
can then build our lives together.
He says he loves me with all his heart and I am the woman he wants to marry and have his kids and spend the rest of his
life with, but he needs this time to get it all sorted. He says he knows he is breaking me heart by hurting me by asking me
to wait for him, and its true he is breaking me. I have always walked away from break ups and not gone back, I always swore
if you break up that is it, no going back and he knows this, but he still needs to ask for 3 weeks to see if he can do
this uni work or not.He knows that asking me this is a major major thing and as I said to him I love him with all my heart
my soul and he is the one I want to be with so as much as it is killing me to not be able to speak to him or see him every
day I have to do this, I have to go back on what I have always said and done to keep this man in my life.
It hurts so much to think I have hurt him by fighting with him so much, I know now why I was doing it.It was child like and
stupid, cause the time we were spending together was getting less and less time and less quality time too I was acting out
about it and stupid things,I was picking fights with him just to get attention and its stupid I know as it has now possibly
ruined us, he says its ok and he wants to come back and be with me when he can. I am just so scared that I have pushed too
much and too hard to have him come back.
I told him I will do what he needs to, despite not wanting to and despite it hurting me so much because if this is what he
truly needs to make us work then I will shut my mouth and do it. I would put my entire life on hold and on the line for this
man and I know this is what will help us out. I had to ask him to do one thing in return for me to help me out through this
all. I asked to keep his housekeys to my place even though he didnt want to keep them, I told him the reason for me behind
it is that if he loves me and needs me as much as he says he does then I am his home! I am the place he will always come
back to and the place he will feel the most comfortable that the keys for me symbolise I am his home I am his safe place
and he will come back to me when he is ready. He said he will keep them but he explained to me why he didnt want to, his
reasoning is that he needs to concentrate on things and if he sees them and my things around he will be distracted by
stopping to think of me and how much he will be missing me,how much he is hurting me. I told him I understood why he didnt
want to take them but asked to please do so anyway, told him I didnt care if he put our photos and my keys and anything
else I had left there away in a draw or something out of sight so he could concentrate with out me being a reminder to him.
I understand why he is doing things and why he needs me out of the way for awhile so when he is ready he can have me
completely again not this half time thing we have been doing lately.
we have spoken calmly and quietly and cried about it so much and we have decided its for a 3week break, to help Anfey
get to study and get over this period in uni. He has to go down the academy this week and do a major assignment plus exams
whilst down there and study on top of that,plus work and help his mother around the house. So as much as it is a kick in
the guts to me I have to be the thing he sacrafices now so he can get to where he needs to be at uni and in his life so we
can then build our lives together.
He says he loves me with all his heart and I am the woman he wants to marry and have his kids and spend the rest of his
life with, but he needs this time to get it all sorted. He says he knows he is breaking me heart by hurting me by asking me
to wait for him, and its true he is breaking me. I have always walked away from break ups and not gone back, I always swore
if you break up that is it, no going back and he knows this, but he still needs to ask for 3 weeks to see if he can do
this uni work or not.He knows that asking me this is a major major thing and as I said to him I love him with all my heart
my soul and he is the one I want to be with so as much as it is killing me to not be able to speak to him or see him every
day I have to do this, I have to go back on what I have always said and done to keep this man in my life.
It hurts so much to think I have hurt him by fighting with him so much, I know now why I was doing it.It was child like and
stupid, cause the time we were spending together was getting less and less time and less quality time too I was acting out
about it and stupid things,I was picking fights with him just to get attention and its stupid I know as it has now possibly
ruined us, he says its ok and he wants to come back and be with me when he can. I am just so scared that I have pushed too
much and too hard to have him come back.
I told him I will do what he needs to, despite not wanting to and despite it hurting me so much because if this is what he
truly needs to make us work then I will shut my mouth and do it. I would put my entire life on hold and on the line for this
man and I know this is what will help us out. I had to ask him to do one thing in return for me to help me out through this
all. I asked to keep his housekeys to my place even though he didnt want to keep them, I told him the reason for me behind
it is that if he loves me and needs me as much as he says he does then I am his home! I am the place he will always come
back to and the place he will feel the most comfortable that the keys for me symbolise I am his home I am his safe place
and he will come back to me when he is ready. He said he will keep them but he explained to me why he didnt want to, his
reasoning is that he needs to concentrate on things and if he sees them and my things around he will be distracted by
stopping to think of me and how much he will be missing me,how much he is hurting me. I told him I understood why he didnt
want to take them but asked to please do so anyway, told him I didnt care if he put our photos and my keys and anything
else I had left there away in a draw or something out of sight so he could concentrate with out me being a reminder to him.
I understand why he is doing things and why he needs me out of the way for awhile so when he is ready he can have me
completely again not this half time thing we have been doing lately.