Major Major Catch Up!
For awhile I had been lost to everything, I hadn't wanted to write cause I guess it meant facing some of the shit I have been thru and I don't always like facing stuff.
But now that things are going a bit better and well better but not 100% seeing there is always something I fuck up I and need to sort out in my head I thought I may need this journal again after all it might just help me settle things in myself again.
Ok so I should have gone back and re read my last entry to see what the hell I havent caught up on but seeing I am lazy we'll just go from here! I was seeing the fireman! He was the fireman for so long and never had a name and the minute I felt comfortable calling him by his name well what happens I find out he is seeing atleast 5 other women behind my back well behind all our backs as it turns out none of us knew about each other! What a fucker! so I stopped seeing him and went thru a depressive state for awhile well manical depressive I just hid from things for a while and then forced myself to forget it, then I hung out with Chalkie just a mate just for fun and it was fun he helped me move on a little from the fireman....................well sorta I guess Im always gonna have that shit in the back of my head but Chalkie helped and made me feel like perhaps I was a fun person to wanna get to know, then there came Maclary! The last place I expected to ever find someone was right in front of me and at work! I met him in November last year at work when he started and slowly became mates with him cause he was seeing someone and I was with the fireman, but as it turns out weird coincidence we both broke up with our partners around the same week in feb just after valentines day, but we just hung out as mates thru a mutual friend at work too, and slowly around june we started hanging out more frequently and doing stuff outside of work, I thought we were just mates I had no freakin idea he was interested or would even be interested in me cause he is a gorgeous bloke so why be interested in me (still some underlying resentment in myself caused by the fuck knuckle exs) so we hung out and after 2 weeks of seeing each other nearly every day the fool finally kissed me and I was clued in LOL. since then we have only spent 3 or 4 days apart and that is only when I went to visit my grandfather and my nephew and niece. This man Maclary has shown me a new path in my life and he is on that path with me! He is my path! I have fallen deeply and madly in love with him and he has fallen for me too! Its been 2 months we have been seeing each other now and I know 2 months is a short period of time to fall in love with someone but it has happened, I feel 100% comfortable with him I can show him every side of me and he still stays and he still loves me! Even after the fucked up mess I had on the weekend over him attending a mates party where his ex woul be attending too! He is such a sweet guy he is trying to stay mutual friends with his ex(even though in my opinion it cant be done and I find her to be too clingy still for my liking) I chose not to attend the party even though I now know this mate of his because I am not ready to deal with his ex...........Im actually not sure if I will ever be ready and I dont know how to handle that! Hence the starting of my journal again to hopefully let me sort shit out in my head about how to deal with her and deal with her besides cutting his friends out of our lives and having to arrange our social life around her being there! so be warned some bitching may be happening in the future LOL