Jokes by lawyers, for lawyers.
These are bad, and some have probably been made before, but I make them here and now:
What's the most important thing a lawyer does before a date?
Conflict checking.
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What does a senior partner ask the secretary before giving the gift the secretary bought?
Has that been shepherdized?
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What's a lawyer's justification for infidelity?
Diversity jurisdiction.
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What's a lawyer's response to spouse when confronted with knowledge of infidelity?
Objection. Argumentative.
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What's the lawyer's response to spouse when confronted with proof of infidelity?
Motion to exclude.
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Why won't a lawyer do yardwork?
Afraid to touch fruit of the poison tree.
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Why won't a liability defense attorney eat pastry?
Afraid to be served with a torte action.
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Lawyer's justification for kicking his kids out?
Rule against perpetuities.
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Why don't some lawyers go skiing?
Want to avoid a slippery slope.
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Thank you, thank you. You'll be happy to know I won't be here all weekend.
What's the most important thing a lawyer does before a date?
Conflict checking.
_
What does a senior partner ask the secretary before giving the gift the secretary bought?
Has that been shepherdized?
_
What's a lawyer's justification for infidelity?
Diversity jurisdiction.
_
What's a lawyer's response to spouse when confronted with knowledge of infidelity?
Objection. Argumentative.
_
What's the lawyer's response to spouse when confronted with proof of infidelity?
Motion to exclude.
_
Why won't a lawyer do yardwork?
Afraid to touch fruit of the poison tree.
_
Why won't a liability defense attorney eat pastry?
Afraid to be served with a torte action.
_
Lawyer's justification for kicking his kids out?
Rule against perpetuities.
_
Why don't some lawyers go skiing?
Want to avoid a slippery slope.
_
Thank you, thank you. You'll be happy to know I won't be here all weekend.