My ideal job
So, I said in an audio post the other day that I really liked the movie Elf. The whole concept is just great. I thought it would suck, but it's great. Hot girl in elf costume--who could ask for anything more in a romantic comedy? (which is, by the way, how I classify this movie)
Another movie that I thought would suck but I love is The Santa Clause. Ever since seeing that one, my wife and I have dreamed about leaving it all behind for the North Pole. Seriously. I want this job.
The movie came on TV the other day. We were watching it, and of course the kids were loving it. Then my wife decided to tell my 4 year old son that I should push Santa Claus off the roof so I could be Santa. Yeah. He loved it. All I heard for the rest of the night was "Go push Santa off the roof, Daddy" with this big dumb grin. I like big dumb grins. Normally, this wouldn't bother me.
We routinely tell our children fantastic things, and some of them are not true. For example, it would be very difficult for us to find a band of Gypsies to sell them to, whereas Santa Claus can be found at least every year, if with some difficulty. Often, we fool them and sometimes do not correcting the misinformation. And I'm talking about stuff that puts the truth of Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy to shame. I mean stuff on the order of this fantastic tale, which I name The Tale of Nyarlathotep and the Nine Kittens, and promote as an exceptional tale of holiday wonderment. The kids eat it up. In fact, I bet they'd be willing to eat the kittens. They also know that occasionally we pull a great big hood over their eyes, and they love it. It's good for the sense of humor.
But this thing with pushing Santa off the roof bothered me. Why? Because it teaches that mercenary violence in pursuit of happiness is okay? No, that's not it. I wouldn't mind her telling that to anyone else. But my 4 year old son is impressionable. He'll be after me to push Santa off the roof from now until Christmas!
That would be fine if I could actually do it. The only problem I have now is designing a trap for Santa that will likely off him and give me the opportunity to put on the big red suit. I'm trying not to get too absorbed in the moral and ethical considerations of this undertaking. I want the job. Seriously. It's the physics that has me baffled. But I'm thinking that if I can believe strongly enough, Santa's sleigh just might have enough juice to make it to my house this year, and I'll get my chance.
In the alternative, I'd kill for the chance to make toys with his Elves.
Another movie that I thought would suck but I love is The Santa Clause. Ever since seeing that one, my wife and I have dreamed about leaving it all behind for the North Pole. Seriously. I want this job.
The movie came on TV the other day. We were watching it, and of course the kids were loving it. Then my wife decided to tell my 4 year old son that I should push Santa Claus off the roof so I could be Santa. Yeah. He loved it. All I heard for the rest of the night was "Go push Santa off the roof, Daddy" with this big dumb grin. I like big dumb grins. Normally, this wouldn't bother me.
We routinely tell our children fantastic things, and some of them are not true. For example, it would be very difficult for us to find a band of Gypsies to sell them to, whereas Santa Claus can be found at least every year, if with some difficulty. Often, we fool them and sometimes do not correcting the misinformation. And I'm talking about stuff that puts the truth of Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy to shame. I mean stuff on the order of this fantastic tale, which I name The Tale of Nyarlathotep and the Nine Kittens, and promote as an exceptional tale of holiday wonderment. The kids eat it up. In fact, I bet they'd be willing to eat the kittens. They also know that occasionally we pull a great big hood over their eyes, and they love it. It's good for the sense of humor.
But this thing with pushing Santa off the roof bothered me. Why? Because it teaches that mercenary violence in pursuit of happiness is okay? No, that's not it. I wouldn't mind her telling that to anyone else. But my 4 year old son is impressionable. He'll be after me to push Santa off the roof from now until Christmas!
That would be fine if I could actually do it. The only problem I have now is designing a trap for Santa that will likely off him and give me the opportunity to put on the big red suit. I'm trying not to get too absorbed in the moral and ethical considerations of this undertaking. I want the job. Seriously. It's the physics that has me baffled. But I'm thinking that if I can believe strongly enough, Santa's sleigh just might have enough juice to make it to my house this year, and I'll get my chance.
In the alternative, I'd kill for the chance to make toys with his Elves.