Good times and gas stations
I have taken my guilty pleasure of secretly enjoying gas stations to the next levels; I work at one, Speedway, a local favorite. A broke person will do desperate things, and they give me enough hours to save up money to pay off bills and such. I think I'm going to start a list of the crazy shirts that rednecks wear (for ex., the boy who was wearing a shirt that said "Redneck Fourplay" with a guy on a four wheeler and a Confederate flag. He bought the pink Camel 9s). I feel like I hold the keys to white trashdom and ghettoness -- rolling papers, cigarettes, beer, dip, uh ephedrine (which we keep a log of--- to see if some people are making meth with it).
I've made a few observations about the gas station crowd..
Speedway is where all forms of life come together. People from all different walks of like flood in... Internationals, rich, poor, illegal aliens, I think some extraterrestrials (real deal aliens), rednecks, scenesters, bikers, dominatraxes, vegans, Walmart employees, transexual Britney Spears impersonators, transexual Sara Herndon impersonators... You know, the regulars...
Fat people that come in and buy a shit ton of donuts are amusing, except when they come in 15 minutes before one closes and leave their yeti tracks all over the mopped floor.
As a gas station attendant, I know about the secret junk food you eat. You can't hide your ding dong from me!
I can understand all types of backwoods accents, but when someone came in from Rhode Island, I had no idea what they were saying. "What the hell? Is that German?". I didn't even really knew people from Rhode Island existed, to be honest.
Bosnians always bark commands at you. "Want Malboro reds! Gimme!". I'm going to assume something is lost in translation, before I type something something sarcastic and politically incorrect.
It's fun to tell people over the intercom, "Bowling Green is prepay only. Could you hang up the pump and prepay with the card, or come inside and prepay?" .. in different voices, I'm trying to perfect the sex phone operator voice.
I can handle white trash. I can handle ghetto. But I can't handle ghetto white trash, especially when it's a group of kids that just come in from the trailer park. "Ay stop hatin'. How much dis drink be?". Plus the fact that they learned to speak that way from stereotypical TV shows and music, and not environment, bothers me. Put your Dixie Outfitters shirt back on, and shut the fuck up.
Old people, Asians, and rednecks love the lottery.
I work with middle aged women that hate the majority of the customers more than I do. "WE DON'T SELL BEER ON SUNDAYS! RAH!", "HANG UP THE PUMP AND PREPAY!". So I can be kind of an asshole, and still seem nice. Score.
I've made a few observations about the gas station crowd..
Speedway is where all forms of life come together. People from all different walks of like flood in... Internationals, rich, poor, illegal aliens, I think some extraterrestrials (real deal aliens), rednecks, scenesters, bikers, dominatraxes, vegans, Walmart employees, transexual Britney Spears impersonators, transexual Sara Herndon impersonators... You know, the regulars...
Fat people that come in and buy a shit ton of donuts are amusing, except when they come in 15 minutes before one closes and leave their yeti tracks all over the mopped floor.
As a gas station attendant, I know about the secret junk food you eat. You can't hide your ding dong from me!
I can understand all types of backwoods accents, but when someone came in from Rhode Island, I had no idea what they were saying. "What the hell? Is that German?". I didn't even really knew people from Rhode Island existed, to be honest.
Bosnians always bark commands at you. "Want Malboro reds! Gimme!". I'm going to assume something is lost in translation, before I type something something sarcastic and politically incorrect.
It's fun to tell people over the intercom, "Bowling Green is prepay only. Could you hang up the pump and prepay with the card, or come inside and prepay?" .. in different voices, I'm trying to perfect the sex phone operator voice.
I can handle white trash. I can handle ghetto. But I can't handle ghetto white trash, especially when it's a group of kids that just come in from the trailer park. "Ay stop hatin'. How much dis drink be?". Plus the fact that they learned to speak that way from stereotypical TV shows and music, and not environment, bothers me. Put your Dixie Outfitters shirt back on, and shut the fuck up.
Old people, Asians, and rednecks love the lottery.
I work with middle aged women that hate the majority of the customers more than I do. "WE DON'T SELL BEER ON SUNDAYS! RAH!", "HANG UP THE PUMP AND PREPAY!". So I can be kind of an asshole, and still seem nice. Score.