random adventures with Assley, chapter 1
Crazy shit follows me to Nashville, completely unrelated from other crazy shit. In the last four years, my life has never really settled into some normal, steady state, but uhhh at least it's interesting...
Everybody needs an Assley in their life (even though at some point she must be destroyed, the general populace agrees). Why? because Assley= random adventures. We decide to take the Natchez Trace, which is next to the wide metropolis of Bellevue (my hometown basically, an outskirt community of Nashville). The Trace is a very old, famous road that goes all the way to Missisippi. So we just take it, listen to music, and say "Oh that tree is pretty, oh cool.. Oh this bridge is scary, etc". We approach a sign that says "Leiper's Fork exit". Well, what and where the fuck is Leiper's Fork. We have to know! We pull into the downtown.. Umm, has anybody seen the Village? That movie where the people are living the Revolutionary War way of life, and then you find out at the end that people moved there to escape the pressures of modern day life. Well, Leiper's Fork is like that but think 30s old school dixie South. The police car looked straight out of Mayberry, no joke. The buildings were all nice, but way old school. We picked up the newspaper, and on the cover three women were proudly displaying their big straw hats with fake flowers on them. The people all looked pretty small town, except for the fact that they drove BMWs and shit. They have a community theatre, tons of meat and threes.. It was odd, but 250, 000 can get you 10 acres in Leiper's Fork. Plus they have "bob cat crossing" signs, a sign that said "YA'LL COME OVER TO MY GARAGE SALE!", and Assley thought she saw a buffalo (?) and a groundhog, but it is Assley, so the buffalo was probably an overgrown dog. Oh Assley, what happened to the immature moments of being 17, working at the theatre, and spray painting "CUNT" on the side of the theatre during break.