Broken
alysandra dumped me yesterday and she wouldnt tell me why and she was comepletely heartless about it :'( i doubt she ever really loved me :'( then i had to walk 4 miles home after school cuz i didnt have a ride from bus stop and this morning i spilled hot coffee in my lap and had to change pants then i spilled some on my shirt and had to change shirts, and i have stupid standardized testing this week, but none of that matters :'( just alysandra :'( im alone again and with out here im completely unmotivated i slept all day and i slept through 5th period after testing i didnt want to get up this morning i dont even feel like playing magic or Mech warrior...i broke down crying during testing and had to hide that :'( i want to drown myself in the toilet i dont feel like life is worth living anymore, i cant even stand to look at her it makes me want to throw myself off the roof of the theatre...or the next tallest thing i can find :'( why does this shit always happen to me :'( i find some 1 i love and i end up being inadequate....or maybe i was just an object to her like todd and the next guy :'( thats wat it seems like we were just talking and it was the end of 5th period and the bell was about to ring so i told her i love you and she was like....im dumping u :'( no reason was given so im sitting there completely crushed and she goes over and is talking and laughing with her friend and shit and...i dont fuckin know...i just feel like shit and i dont want to exist with out her....i worked my ass off to get the money for the roses i got her for valentines and for the money i gave her for tokens at the fuckin sprinz and did every thing i could to spend time with her and she never acknowledged me she just acted like i was a dog or something thats what i feel like now when she asked me out i was something like a puppy and now she has 1 new 1 and has cast me aside :'(