Magic beans where are you?
I think I am going crazy. I can't talk to anyone here. All that they ever do is scream at each other. No one knows how to have a normal conversation. I can't talk to my mom anymore. She's just like the rest of them. Everyone is so unhappy, and they're bringing me down with them. My parents just need to get divorced already. Tom and Christina need to start working on their marriage or else they're going to end up just like my parents. The kids get ignored. I just hate the way people treat each other here.
I don't know if it's the atmosphere that makes me feel this way, or if it's just me letting myself get sucked in to the unhappiness. I am literally sick to my stomach. I shouldn't complain. I know I shouldn't. There are people a lot worse off than my family. I just wish that my family could magically become happy. I think they all need to go to therapy. They're just so... I honestly don't know what it is, but it hurts me so bad to see them like this.
I'm not saying that I'm perfect. That's not me by far. But I have definitely never felt this horrible in a long time. And I'm not trying to blame everything on them. I know that if I worked really hard, I could be happier. I just don't have anyone to talk to about any of it. And nothing is getting better.
I don't know what to do. I try to talk to my mom about it, and she doesn't seem to care. I can't cry with anyone because they all think I'm too emotional, even though none of them have seen me cry in years (except my mom). Everyone is just so selfish. No one has respect for anyone here. I thought everything was going to be great once my sister came home. I'm not saying that I'm not thrilled that she's home. I'm really happy to see her. It's just that I thought my dad would yell as much. I thought my parents wouldn't fight as much. I thought that her and her family would get along much better. I guess I thought that everyone would appreciate that she was home so much that they would forget about how much they hate life (because to me, that seems to be what the problem is). No one sees the good in anything here. And I don't feel like I belong.
My mom used to be one of my best friends. We never talk anymore. I just get yelled at every time I open my mouth. I'm so confused. I want to leave. I can't wait to get back to school...
I don't know if it's the atmosphere that makes me feel this way, or if it's just me letting myself get sucked in to the unhappiness. I am literally sick to my stomach. I shouldn't complain. I know I shouldn't. There are people a lot worse off than my family. I just wish that my family could magically become happy. I think they all need to go to therapy. They're just so... I honestly don't know what it is, but it hurts me so bad to see them like this.
I'm not saying that I'm perfect. That's not me by far. But I have definitely never felt this horrible in a long time. And I'm not trying to blame everything on them. I know that if I worked really hard, I could be happier. I just don't have anyone to talk to about any of it. And nothing is getting better.
I don't know what to do. I try to talk to my mom about it, and she doesn't seem to care. I can't cry with anyone because they all think I'm too emotional, even though none of them have seen me cry in years (except my mom). Everyone is just so selfish. No one has respect for anyone here. I thought everything was going to be great once my sister came home. I'm not saying that I'm not thrilled that she's home. I'm really happy to see her. It's just that I thought my dad would yell as much. I thought my parents wouldn't fight as much. I thought that her and her family would get along much better. I guess I thought that everyone would appreciate that she was home so much that they would forget about how much they hate life (because to me, that seems to be what the problem is). No one sees the good in anything here. And I don't feel like I belong.
My mom used to be one of my best friends. We never talk anymore. I just get yelled at every time I open my mouth. I'm so confused. I want to leave. I can't wait to get back to school...