Some deep stuff...
Well, I just had some strange dreams, but I really can't remember any of them lol. I hate that. I did wake up feeling like I have figured everything out. Well, for now at least.
Every time I come home, I turn into a completely different person. I am rarely my bubbly, fun self that I am when I'm around my friends. I can't joke with anyone because they take me seriously and get mad. my parents are both so depressed, and being around two depressed people brings one down. I want to see them happy, but all they ever do is fight. My dad gave me such a headache last night when he was screaming on the phone with my aunt. He likes to cause drama. I hope I'm never like that. We went out to eat yesterday and my dad got my at me about the stupidest thing, that we ate at Bob Evan's. That's what it's like every day here. It's so not fun.
My mom wasa actually in a good mood last night though, so maybe things will get better.
See what I mean about them bringing me down? I can't even think positively any more.
I'm not trying to put blame on them, but it seems like I'm so happy when I'm away from them. That is just sad :( That's not the way things should be.
My dream also made me think of my friendships and past relationships. I am so afraid to get close to people. Therefore, I don't open up to many people. Or I have opened up to people and they have let me down, turned their backs on me, or hurt me in some way. Then, I get scared and won't open up to anyone else. Maybe that's why people won't take chances on me. They think there's nothing there.
It sucks being here sometimes. I have no one to talk to. At least in the summer, I had someone to talk to. But again, I was let down. Friends don't do that to each other, right?
Sorry this is such a depressing entry. I just need to get it out so I can move on. Tomorrow will be better...
Every time I come home, I turn into a completely different person. I am rarely my bubbly, fun self that I am when I'm around my friends. I can't joke with anyone because they take me seriously and get mad. my parents are both so depressed, and being around two depressed people brings one down. I want to see them happy, but all they ever do is fight. My dad gave me such a headache last night when he was screaming on the phone with my aunt. He likes to cause drama. I hope I'm never like that. We went out to eat yesterday and my dad got my at me about the stupidest thing, that we ate at Bob Evan's. That's what it's like every day here. It's so not fun.
My mom wasa actually in a good mood last night though, so maybe things will get better.
See what I mean about them bringing me down? I can't even think positively any more.
I'm not trying to put blame on them, but it seems like I'm so happy when I'm away from them. That is just sad :( That's not the way things should be.
My dream also made me think of my friendships and past relationships. I am so afraid to get close to people. Therefore, I don't open up to many people. Or I have opened up to people and they have let me down, turned their backs on me, or hurt me in some way. Then, I get scared and won't open up to anyone else. Maybe that's why people won't take chances on me. They think there's nothing there.
It sucks being here sometimes. I have no one to talk to. At least in the summer, I had someone to talk to. But again, I was let down. Friends don't do that to each other, right?
Sorry this is such a depressing entry. I just need to get it out so I can move on. Tomorrow will be better...