"Are you growing a whoosis?"
Joe_late 1968
Originally uploaded by zhuxiu63. [This was written sometime in late 1968 as a commentary/satire on my first mustache “experience”]
The air snapped with electricity as the question was posed. “Are you growing a whoosis?” mother asked. On her face was an expression of uncertainty and horror.
“A whatsis?’ the son replied, not fully understanding the question.
Mother became more direct. “That thing under your nose,” she said, pointing.
“Oh, that! Well, I thought I would try to grow one. I am curious as to how I might look.”
Mother sunk into her chair and looked over to her daughter-in-law and her granddaughter with pity in her eyes. A broad smile filled her daughter-in-law’s face. “I like it,” she said, suppressing a giggle.
Mother by now had almost disappeared into the chair. “Oh, where did we go wrong?” she groaned.
The son was incredulous. “Why such a big fuss?” he asked.
“Oh, you kids are crazy,” she replied, “with your long hair and your left-wing ideas! And now this! Where will it all end?” This last question was directed to no one in particular, but father seemed to sense that he was needed, for he came into the living room at that moment.
Mother turned to face him, put her right index finger up between her nose and her upper lip, and asked, “Did you see this?”
Father walked across the room and looked carefully at mother’s right index finger. “Did I see what?” he asked.
“Not me, your son!” mother said huffily.
Father turned, stared closely at his son, and asked, “What are you doing, growing a @&*$#%&# mustache?”
Mother emitted a bloodcurdling yell, “That word! Don’t ever say that word in this house!” And while mother swooned at the thought of anyone in her family growing a mustache (oops, excuse me, a whoosis), we could hear father muttering, “I’ll disown him! I’ll disown him!”
The son, his wife and daughter sat quietly in the kitchen, hoping that it would all blow over. They exchanged smiles over the unbelievably funny situation that had come about as the result of the son allowing the hair on his upper lip to grow freely. It was funny, and yet it was sad to see adults of middle-age become so incensed over something like this.
Could growing a mustache be put on the same plane with unrestrained killing in Southeast Asia or corporate suppression of the poor in this country? Why do they seem so unconcerned about these substantive issues? Maybe the war is too remote, the problem of poverty too great! Yes, the decision by your son to grow a “whoosis” is closer to home.
But, the son is supposedly a free person, free to do as he pleases without infringing on the rights of others. The father says he is ashamed of his son. He was ashamed when his son and daughter-in-law participated in a march for peace which resulted in a “police riot”. He is ashamed because his son wears long hair and espouses radical ideas, even though the son is a veteran of seven years’ service in the armed forces. Now he is ashamed because his son chooses to grow a mustache.
Out of necessity, the son and his family are living in the house of his mother and father. Maybe they feel they have the right to dictate the son’s behavior because he is so dependent on them. After all, he is twenty-six years old, with a wife and a three-year-old daughter. Why should he be independent? He is always coming to the father with questions about this and that. How do I do this, Dad? How can we accomplish that, Dad? The kid sure doesn’t seem to have much pride, does he?
Independence is the issue here, but the son cannot effectively plead his case because he and his family are not yet independent.
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{May 2011 note: I just stopped writing there - jtm}