(no subject)
I haven been sitting at the Grad Commons for several hours. My plan of getting the Econometrics paper done hasn't gotten me anywhere.
I decided that it's time for a new beginning for life.
A mistake made in the summer has brought me this trouble, and a wrong decision has led me drain myself in this deep dark hole. I questioned my instincts for choosing friends, so I tried a different approach, but in the end I only proved that I was right before. A lesson is learned and my condidence needs to be re-gained. I think I need to get my life back and find the Lulu I once know.
I can't lie to myself anymore and keep telling myself that Josh was the kind of person I wanted to be with. It was a mistake from the beginning. He was never the man I was looking for in my life and the generic kindness was not what I needed. I still have a long life to live and a future awaiting for me to face. I proved that I still have the courage to love and be loved, but it simply happened at the wrong time and with the wrong person. Relationship is such a small part of life and how could I give the chance for it to let me down? Life is still as beautiful and I just have to open my eyes and see it for myself. I have made too many meaningless sacrifices and I refuse to waste any more time. Jesus was right, my future is only in my own hands and nobody could help me to change that, and depending on someone else only makes me a vunerable person that I've haven't seen before. I refuse to recall the hurtful things that he's done, and it's no use to do such a thing anyway. I know I am trying to avoid to remind myself how stupid I have been, but I do believe I've learned something from it.
I am going to quit smoking. It's the first step I am going to take to gain myself back. Smoking was never my thing and it should've never been. There's so much in life waiting for me to find and appreciate. I don't want to get lost in this world, especially that I hadn't gotten off track. My life path isn't as clear as I wish it was, but I know I am getting closer to it everyday.
I sincerely hope that it will be a true new beginning after this week. I can't wait til that day to come.
I decided that it's time for a new beginning for life.
A mistake made in the summer has brought me this trouble, and a wrong decision has led me drain myself in this deep dark hole. I questioned my instincts for choosing friends, so I tried a different approach, but in the end I only proved that I was right before. A lesson is learned and my condidence needs to be re-gained. I think I need to get my life back and find the Lulu I once know.
I can't lie to myself anymore and keep telling myself that Josh was the kind of person I wanted to be with. It was a mistake from the beginning. He was never the man I was looking for in my life and the generic kindness was not what I needed. I still have a long life to live and a future awaiting for me to face. I proved that I still have the courage to love and be loved, but it simply happened at the wrong time and with the wrong person. Relationship is such a small part of life and how could I give the chance for it to let me down? Life is still as beautiful and I just have to open my eyes and see it for myself. I have made too many meaningless sacrifices and I refuse to waste any more time. Jesus was right, my future is only in my own hands and nobody could help me to change that, and depending on someone else only makes me a vunerable person that I've haven't seen before. I refuse to recall the hurtful things that he's done, and it's no use to do such a thing anyway. I know I am trying to avoid to remind myself how stupid I have been, but I do believe I've learned something from it.
I am going to quit smoking. It's the first step I am going to take to gain myself back. Smoking was never my thing and it should've never been. There's so much in life waiting for me to find and appreciate. I don't want to get lost in this world, especially that I hadn't gotten off track. My life path isn't as clear as I wish it was, but I know I am getting closer to it everyday.
I sincerely hope that it will be a true new beginning after this week. I can't wait til that day to come.