First Day Back
First, let me sum up the last little while, because there's been some emotional rollercoasting (I do metaphors A LOT, and often overextend them.) So after I put up my first entry, I decided I really needed to talk to a certain friend, but she was unavailable. Well, through a series of rather poor deductions, I ended up at Courtney's room (mutual friend), expecting Rachel to be there. Turns out that not only was neither of them there, but the person who was was Loren, Courtney's roomie. All of these being ballroom people, everyone of them would sort of understand the situation with Rebecca, at least that we'd been dating for a little while, etc. So I end up talking to Loren about Rebecca and me...this devolves into a discussion of other things, and then have to leave when someone in Loren's fam calls, more upset than me.
I go home and vegitate, knowing I should pack. Instead, I finish my celebratory champagne (alone) which apparently goes bad quickly, so it matched my mood: sour. Yesterday was stressful because of packing and moving out, but I made it home OK, and I think I'll be alright as I was home very little time when I got a friendly phonecall about hanging out with Lauren (different from above, both in spelling and in who it is. For future reference: Ballroom Loren, China Lauren=not the same person). So I feel like I'll be good at having friends at home this summer. Of course, I'll have to meet them in the city (the city is always New York...DC is the District), but so be it.
Oh, one more phone call of note last night...Rebecca. First real convo since Saturday night (5AM Sunday morning is still Sat night if you don't sleep till then), and surprisingly unawkward. I figured there'd be upsetness, but no. We had a discussion about the ethics of "flirtatious flattery" with exes, but other than that we were just two friends chatting. I miss my friends, but I'd never see them as often as I'd like. I used to see ballroom people 5 days in a row most weeks (Sat-Wed). No way I'm gonna see them nearly that often, even if I were in DC for the summer.
And today, I've been doing a whole lot of nothing. I'm a veggie when I'm home. I need to find myself work. Something to do with myself, a reason not to sleep till all hrs of the PM (Dawson's Creek is not a sufficient reason to get up). I need to not have a TV in my room, or something. Why is it so much more tempting at home than in DC? Is it just loneliness, or is there more to it? I should do something vaguely intellectual with myself to tear myself away from the TV. I've got good books top read, unpacking to do, jobs to find, apparently a challenge to play/teach chess, "and Guilder to blame for it". Oh, and telling Rebecca to read this, because she'll love the Princess Bride reference. Also that I want to play swords (there was a thing on about Cyrano, who was among other things, a musketeer). Off to try and do some of that stuff, but no idea how successful I'll be.
I go home and vegitate, knowing I should pack. Instead, I finish my celebratory champagne (alone) which apparently goes bad quickly, so it matched my mood: sour. Yesterday was stressful because of packing and moving out, but I made it home OK, and I think I'll be alright as I was home very little time when I got a friendly phonecall about hanging out with Lauren (different from above, both in spelling and in who it is. For future reference: Ballroom Loren, China Lauren=not the same person). So I feel like I'll be good at having friends at home this summer. Of course, I'll have to meet them in the city (the city is always New York...DC is the District), but so be it.
Oh, one more phone call of note last night...Rebecca. First real convo since Saturday night (5AM Sunday morning is still Sat night if you don't sleep till then), and surprisingly unawkward. I figured there'd be upsetness, but no. We had a discussion about the ethics of "flirtatious flattery" with exes, but other than that we were just two friends chatting. I miss my friends, but I'd never see them as often as I'd like. I used to see ballroom people 5 days in a row most weeks (Sat-Wed). No way I'm gonna see them nearly that often, even if I were in DC for the summer.
And today, I've been doing a whole lot of nothing. I'm a veggie when I'm home. I need to find myself work. Something to do with myself, a reason not to sleep till all hrs of the PM (Dawson's Creek is not a sufficient reason to get up). I need to not have a TV in my room, or something. Why is it so much more tempting at home than in DC? Is it just loneliness, or is there more to it? I should do something vaguely intellectual with myself to tear myself away from the TV. I've got good books top read, unpacking to do, jobs to find, apparently a challenge to play/teach chess, "and Guilder to blame for it". Oh, and telling Rebecca to read this, because she'll love the Princess Bride reference. Also that I want to play swords (there was a thing on about Cyrano, who was among other things, a musketeer). Off to try and do some of that stuff, but no idea how successful I'll be.