Children & Time
I don't have children, so I'm perplexed by something I see my friends with children doing.
I don't eat meals at the same times every day. When I do, it is a result of convenience relative to other activities scheduled with other people. Left to my own devices, I would not eat lunch every day at noon. I do not go to bed every night at the same time. Why must children be scheduled to specific times for eating and sleeping?
I get the impression when babies are born they eat and sleep when they want to without specific times related to parental pressure or any sort of daily cycle. At some point, some parents (the perplexing friends) stop accommodating this plan and insist that "the baby shall sleep now. The baby shall get up now. The baby shall eat now, etc" Children do not know what time it is. They presumably would eat when they were hungry (that is, they would indicate their hunger, at which point someone would give them food) and sleep when they were tired if left to their own devices. I understand that parents want the kids to sleep when the parents are going to be asleep. Is all of the scheduling for the whole day designed so that the kid wakes up around the time the parent wants to wake up?
Once scheduled, some parents I know treat the schedule as if it were handed down on Mount Sinai. For example, shabbat starts late these summer days. Do these parents feed their child at 8 PM, upon arrival home from the early minyan? No, they feed their daughter at 6 pm, as if it were a weekday, contorting themselves to keep to the schedule which is sacrosanct. This prevents them from going out for dinner or having guests. They say that if she doesn't eat at the same time as every other day and go to bed at the same time as every other day she'll be fussy. First of all, shabbat isn't like every other day and even the daughter realizes it. All the muktze toys are gone. the lights stay on. People come over for lunch, or they go out to lunch. They go to shul. etc. It isn't the same. So why don't they let the daughter stay up later to join in on Shabbat dinner? If she sleeps later that day, so be it.
I understand this scheduling business a little bit more for those friends where both work, so they are going to take the daughter to stay with someone at 7 AM, awake or not. There, the daughter is innevitably going to be awakened by said transport, so if they want her to sleep 8 hrs, or 10 hrs, or whatever they think is right, they need to put her in bed that amount of time beforehand. But the child who could get up at 6 am if he wanted or could get up at 10 am, why send him to bed at exactly 8?
Color me confused.
I don't eat meals at the same times every day. When I do, it is a result of convenience relative to other activities scheduled with other people. Left to my own devices, I would not eat lunch every day at noon. I do not go to bed every night at the same time. Why must children be scheduled to specific times for eating and sleeping?
I get the impression when babies are born they eat and sleep when they want to without specific times related to parental pressure or any sort of daily cycle. At some point, some parents (the perplexing friends) stop accommodating this plan and insist that "the baby shall sleep now. The baby shall get up now. The baby shall eat now, etc" Children do not know what time it is. They presumably would eat when they were hungry (that is, they would indicate their hunger, at which point someone would give them food) and sleep when they were tired if left to their own devices. I understand that parents want the kids to sleep when the parents are going to be asleep. Is all of the scheduling for the whole day designed so that the kid wakes up around the time the parent wants to wake up?
Once scheduled, some parents I know treat the schedule as if it were handed down on Mount Sinai. For example, shabbat starts late these summer days. Do these parents feed their child at 8 PM, upon arrival home from the early minyan? No, they feed their daughter at 6 pm, as if it were a weekday, contorting themselves to keep to the schedule which is sacrosanct. This prevents them from going out for dinner or having guests. They say that if she doesn't eat at the same time as every other day and go to bed at the same time as every other day she'll be fussy. First of all, shabbat isn't like every other day and even the daughter realizes it. All the muktze toys are gone. the lights stay on. People come over for lunch, or they go out to lunch. They go to shul. etc. It isn't the same. So why don't they let the daughter stay up later to join in on Shabbat dinner? If she sleeps later that day, so be it.
I understand this scheduling business a little bit more for those friends where both work, so they are going to take the daughter to stay with someone at 7 AM, awake or not. There, the daughter is innevitably going to be awakened by said transport, so if they want her to sleep 8 hrs, or 10 hrs, or whatever they think is right, they need to put her in bed that amount of time beforehand. But the child who could get up at 6 am if he wanted or could get up at 10 am, why send him to bed at exactly 8?
Color me confused.