Inspired by a friend's post and recent experiences
On friday I was on a train in the early afternoon and there was a crying baby the whole way. Normally it really irks me (I am not a parent but simply do not like the sound of crying babies), but I just decided that since i was planning to sit and read, i could ignore said child, who is not my responsibility. I should think this way more often.
When I arrived to NJ, to hang out with Becca and family (she matched at Robert Wood Johnson in New Brunswick & will be there for 3 years), they asked how my trip was. I said it was fine and that there was a crying baby the whole way. They asked why I still thought it was fine and I said "I wasn't trying to sleep and he wasn't my child to take care of."
It has been pointed out that "this is not a library". Kids make noise and parents need to take them certain places, like supermarkets and mass transit. I often have an attitude of "anywhere I am reading is considered a library". While obviously I can't read in the supermarket, people on mass transit do want to do their thing, which can be reading, sleeping, etc. Crying children are not nearly as guilty as adults who conduct loud and disturbing conversations, on cell phones or in person. And I have no idea what should practically be told to those parents. I am sure that the parent of the kid screaming on the bus would like him to stop, but presumably can't make him/her stop. This is obviously not true of loud talkers.
This only applies to places where there is no reasonable alternative. Bringing your child somewhere that there is no reasonable possibility that he'll behave appropriately (for the location...he is acting appropriately for his age) is just silly, and mean. It is mean to the child because you force him to behave which he can't do, and it is mean to others because you inflict your child's inappropriate behavior on them. So then how old should your kids be before you take them to shul? I've wondered that. Any answers that my friends have would be interesting to hear.
When I arrived to NJ, to hang out with Becca and family (she matched at Robert Wood Johnson in New Brunswick & will be there for 3 years), they asked how my trip was. I said it was fine and that there was a crying baby the whole way. They asked why I still thought it was fine and I said "I wasn't trying to sleep and he wasn't my child to take care of."
It has been pointed out that "this is not a library". Kids make noise and parents need to take them certain places, like supermarkets and mass transit. I often have an attitude of "anywhere I am reading is considered a library". While obviously I can't read in the supermarket, people on mass transit do want to do their thing, which can be reading, sleeping, etc. Crying children are not nearly as guilty as adults who conduct loud and disturbing conversations, on cell phones or in person. And I have no idea what should practically be told to those parents. I am sure that the parent of the kid screaming on the bus would like him to stop, but presumably can't make him/her stop. This is obviously not true of loud talkers.
This only applies to places where there is no reasonable alternative. Bringing your child somewhere that there is no reasonable possibility that he'll behave appropriately (for the location...he is acting appropriately for his age) is just silly, and mean. It is mean to the child because you force him to behave which he can't do, and it is mean to others because you inflict your child's inappropriate behavior on them. So then how old should your kids be before you take them to shul? I've wondered that. Any answers that my friends have would be interesting to hear.