Whereby I use my skills as a typical American to educate you all...
The craziness surrounding various LJ-related and other drama has led me to believe that it's clear that other people in America don't generally take the time to learn about other cultures, ethnic groups, regional differences, and the like. And, so, using the vast knowledge I have accumulated over the last couple years, I will now teach you about people from all across the country. THIS APPLIES TO ALL MEMBERS OF ANY PARTICULAR GROUP, THERE ARE NO EXCEPTIONS.
Group 1 - People from Byron Center, Michigan, who graduated in 2000.
1a) GIRLS - are really hot and I want to make babies with them. Also, they have little sisters who are incredible slut-whores (with diseases).
1b) BOYS - are smart, marry pretty girls, like philosophy and German, and move to Pennsylvania.
Group 2 - Guys from Boston - are all loud, hate the Yankees, love the Red Sox and Patriots, and cannot stop playing video games and collecting Star Wars legos.
Group 3 - Girls from New York - are good at web design, drive Jeeps, and can kick my ass (and probably yours) at pop-culture trivia.
Group 4 - Mormons - tend to join the Marines and become pilots. If this doesn't work, they like to live in either Utah or Brazil. Don't mess with Mormons.
Group 5 - Guys from Mississippi - tend to spend their early years drunk, but then pull themselves together and become Mormon law students.
Group 6 - Girls from Utah - are Marines, go to BYU, and have an almost unhealthy obsession with all things sci-fi and fantasy, particularly Star Wars.
Group 7 - Girls born in Galveston, TX and raised in Kalamazoo, MI - are all very pretty, work at the library, and have an almost unhealthy obsession with teen books, particular Harry Potter. May also like DDR a little too much.
Group 8 - Girls from Wyoming, MI - are all cool, have really cute toddler boys and are doing a great job putting themselves through college.
Group 9 - People on the internet who are my friends - are all intelligent, witty, and have well thought out, interesting ideas.
Group 10 - People on the internet who are not my friends - are all ignorant, boring, and never know what they are talking about. They should all be ashamed of themselves.
There are many others, but I just wanted to start small so that you all could begin to digest this important information.
I hope this helps everyone as they travel throughout various parts of the United States. Remember these traits about the locals and you will always fit right in. REMEMBER: If you meet members of these groups that vary in any way from the descriptions above, they are probably mentally ill and dangerous. Run away from them!
As I continue my travels, I will try to teach everyone more about the various people in the United States.
Feel free to add to my vast, typical American knowledge...
Group 1 - People from Byron Center, Michigan, who graduated in 2000.
1a) GIRLS - are really hot and I want to make babies with them. Also, they have little sisters who are incredible slut-whores (with diseases).
1b) BOYS - are smart, marry pretty girls, like philosophy and German, and move to Pennsylvania.
Group 2 - Guys from Boston - are all loud, hate the Yankees, love the Red Sox and Patriots, and cannot stop playing video games and collecting Star Wars legos.
Group 3 - Girls from New York - are good at web design, drive Jeeps, and can kick my ass (and probably yours) at pop-culture trivia.
Group 4 - Mormons - tend to join the Marines and become pilots. If this doesn't work, they like to live in either Utah or Brazil. Don't mess with Mormons.
Group 5 - Guys from Mississippi - tend to spend their early years drunk, but then pull themselves together and become Mormon law students.
Group 6 - Girls from Utah - are Marines, go to BYU, and have an almost unhealthy obsession with all things sci-fi and fantasy, particularly Star Wars.
Group 7 - Girls born in Galveston, TX and raised in Kalamazoo, MI - are all very pretty, work at the library, and have an almost unhealthy obsession with teen books, particular Harry Potter. May also like DDR a little too much.
Group 8 - Girls from Wyoming, MI - are all cool, have really cute toddler boys and are doing a great job putting themselves through college.
Group 9 - People on the internet who are my friends - are all intelligent, witty, and have well thought out, interesting ideas.
Group 10 - People on the internet who are not my friends - are all ignorant, boring, and never know what they are talking about. They should all be ashamed of themselves.
There are many others, but I just wanted to start small so that you all could begin to digest this important information.
I hope this helps everyone as they travel throughout various parts of the United States. Remember these traits about the locals and you will always fit right in. REMEMBER: If you meet members of these groups that vary in any way from the descriptions above, they are probably mentally ill and dangerous. Run away from them!
As I continue my travels, I will try to teach everyone more about the various people in the United States.
Feel free to add to my vast, typical American knowledge...