Fics: Rubber Duckies. Colourful Songs. For the Record.
Three short drabbles for another Big Bang challenge.
Fic: Rubber Duckies
Author: zeto
Word Count: 400+
Genre: Attempts at humour
Prompt: Happy
“What is happiness?”
The question has been plaguing him all day.
At first, Howard thinks it is obvious. Big assets like a mansion, a nice car, hundreds of video games and two hot blondes with even bigger...assets.
But as his day progresses, he finds himself thinking that there has to be more to it than just that, and before long he is contemplating on what the others would define as happiness.
Howard chuckles to himself. He imagines that Raj's happiness includes becoming a well-hung billionaire named the Indira Gandhi of particle astrophysics. One with wings, of course.
No doubt for Penny, it would be making it big in L.A. and landing a role in a popular TV show.
For Leonard it would, of course, be Penny and their smart and beautiful (not to mention imaginary) children.
The engineer's thoughts are naturally led to Sheldon, since it is through Leonard that Howard has been afflicted with the socially-awkward prodigy's presence. He ponders on Sheldon's type of happiness but decides the headache is not worth the effort. At the very least though, he figures it's something complicated and confusing, much like the man himself.
As he slides into his warm and frothy bubble bath at the end of a long day, Howard decides to stop thinking about the others and concentrate on his own happiness. He settles down, glass of red wine near his side, and carefully wipes his hands clean, gingerly sliding his new comic book free from its sleeve. He can almost smell it; that fresh, new comic book scent he is sure all new comic books exude.
Ahhh, yes... this, he decides, is happiness.
All of a sudden the phone rings (how dare it?!) and cuts through his downtime. In a vain attempt, the young man tries to ignore it. It's a shame it's accompanied by the distinctly-shrill voice of his mother.
“HOWARD! IT'S THE PHONE!”
“I hear the phone!”
“THEN WHY AREN'T YOU ANSWERING IT?”
“I'm in the bath, ma! Why aren't you answering it?”
There's silence, and Howard figures his mother has answered it. He flips open the first page of his comic.
“HOWARD! IT'S FOR YOU. IT'S YOUR FRIEND, LEONARD! THE SHORT ONE!”
“Well, tell him I'm busy!”
“I'LL TELL HIM TO CALL YOU BACK AFTER YOUR BATH TIME, AND DON'T LET THE RUBBER DUCKIES GET STUCK IN THE DRAIN AGAIN!”
He twitches, and decides that, yes, happiness must be moving out and finding a place of his own.
The end!
Fic: Colourful Songs
Author: zeto
Word Count: 200+
Genre: Attempts at humour
Prompt: Blue
Shel-don Coo-per noun \ˈshel-dən\ \ˈkü-pər, ˈku̇-\
A biologically-male person with a B.S., M.S., M.A., Ph.D. and Sc.D. A Caltech theoretical physicist, visiting professor, Tuvan throat singer. A lover of musicals, Lord of the Rings and comic books. Geek. Child prodigy. OCD. Socially-inept. Tall. Skinny. Reacts adversely to caffeine and alcohol. Also, Valium. A logical person with an eidetic memory and an IQ of 187.
Yes, Penny thinks to herself, Sheldon Cooper is a man of many things.
This, however, is not something she had ever expected of him.
Well, Sheldon on stage in front of a massive crowd isn't so implausible after a slutty Cuba Libre or two. Sheldon singing on aforementioned stage isn't so odd either. His song choice however...
“It's all because of you,
I'm feeling sad and blue
You went away,
Now my life is just a rainy day
And I love you so,
How much you'll never know
You've gone away and left me lonely.”
“Sheldon, I didn't know you were a fan of Sukiyaki,” Penny pipes up with a grin as the rambunctious crowd cheers him off the stage.
“Sukiyaki?” He repeats, giving her a strange look. “That isn't Sukiyaki. That was Utada Hikaru. In Japan, her country of origin, the last name goes first. She's very popular there.”
Penny refrains from rolling her eyes. Just barely. "I know who Utada Hikaru is!"
"You shouldn't end your sentences with the word 'is'. The correct thing to say would be, 'I know who is Utada Hikaru'."
The blonde's grey eyes narrow. "Oh yeah? Well, what's the correct way to remove microphones from throats?"
As the physicist is about to reply, he hears the karaoke machine start up the familiar strains of another favourite song and he quickly claims the microphone again.
“But I see your true colours
Shining through
I see your true colours
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colours,
True colours, are beautiful,
Like a rainbow.”
Penny refrains from rolling her eyes. Barely. She wonders what song is next. Probably something like Lady in Red, given the theme of the last few songs.
Sheldon bows to the audience's applause and just as he is about to make his exit, the next song comes on.
“Oh yay! Colors of the Wind!” He exclaims and proceeds to spend the rest of the night hogging the microphone.
END
Fic: For the Record
Author: zeto
Word Count: 200+
Genre: Attempts at humour
Prompt: Your Face is Stupid (though it can also fit under the category of 'games' as well since I mention both tennis and Age of Conan)
Leonard returns to the couch, passing Penny a bowl of popcorn. Giving her a slight nudge, he quietly prompts her to scoot over.
Now would be a disastrous time to interrupt the entertainment, just when it's getting good. Like any decent tennis match, the two of them watch with rapt fascination, heads simultaneously sweeping back and forth, from one side to the another.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah!”
“Well...well, your face is stupid then!”
“Your hair is stupid!”
“Your mom is stupid!”
“Your--your shoes are stupid and leave my mom out of this!”
“You started it!”
“No, you started it!”
“You started it and your Age of Conan character is stupid!”
Howard's eyes widen, mouth dropping in shock. “...That was below the belt and entirely uncalled for!”
“You insulted my hair!”
“Well, you insulted my mother!”
“As if that's hard to do!”
At that moment, Sheldon shuffles into the living room. “Howard, you're an idiot.”
The Jewish brunet glares.
“Raj, Penny's in the room.”
The astrophysicist manages a tiny, high-pitched 'eep' before his hands fly up and clamp over his mouth.
Just before he turns and leaves, having accomplished his mission for peace and quiet, Sheldon has one last thing to say though.
“And for the record, both your characters suck.”
THE END!
Fic: Rubber Duckies
Author: zeto
Word Count: 400+
Genre: Attempts at humour
Prompt: Happy
“What is happiness?”
The question has been plaguing him all day.
At first, Howard thinks it is obvious. Big assets like a mansion, a nice car, hundreds of video games and two hot blondes with even bigger...assets.
But as his day progresses, he finds himself thinking that there has to be more to it than just that, and before long he is contemplating on what the others would define as happiness.
Howard chuckles to himself. He imagines that Raj's happiness includes becoming a well-hung billionaire named the Indira Gandhi of particle astrophysics. One with wings, of course.
No doubt for Penny, it would be making it big in L.A. and landing a role in a popular TV show.
For Leonard it would, of course, be Penny and their smart and beautiful (not to mention imaginary) children.
The engineer's thoughts are naturally led to Sheldon, since it is through Leonard that Howard has been afflicted with the socially-awkward prodigy's presence. He ponders on Sheldon's type of happiness but decides the headache is not worth the effort. At the very least though, he figures it's something complicated and confusing, much like the man himself.
As he slides into his warm and frothy bubble bath at the end of a long day, Howard decides to stop thinking about the others and concentrate on his own happiness. He settles down, glass of red wine near his side, and carefully wipes his hands clean, gingerly sliding his new comic book free from its sleeve. He can almost smell it; that fresh, new comic book scent he is sure all new comic books exude.
Ahhh, yes... this, he decides, is happiness.
All of a sudden the phone rings (how dare it?!) and cuts through his downtime. In a vain attempt, the young man tries to ignore it. It's a shame it's accompanied by the distinctly-shrill voice of his mother.
“HOWARD! IT'S THE PHONE!”
“I hear the phone!”
“THEN WHY AREN'T YOU ANSWERING IT?”
“I'm in the bath, ma! Why aren't you answering it?”
There's silence, and Howard figures his mother has answered it. He flips open the first page of his comic.
“HOWARD! IT'S FOR YOU. IT'S YOUR FRIEND, LEONARD! THE SHORT ONE!”
“Well, tell him I'm busy!”
“I'LL TELL HIM TO CALL YOU BACK AFTER YOUR BATH TIME, AND DON'T LET THE RUBBER DUCKIES GET STUCK IN THE DRAIN AGAIN!”
He twitches, and decides that, yes, happiness must be moving out and finding a place of his own.
The end!
Fic: Colourful Songs
Author: zeto
Word Count: 200+
Genre: Attempts at humour
Prompt: Blue
Shel-don Coo-per noun \ˈshel-dən\ \ˈkü-pər, ˈku̇-\
A biologically-male person with a B.S., M.S., M.A., Ph.D. and Sc.D. A Caltech theoretical physicist, visiting professor, Tuvan throat singer. A lover of musicals, Lord of the Rings and comic books. Geek. Child prodigy. OCD. Socially-inept. Tall. Skinny. Reacts adversely to caffeine and alcohol. Also, Valium. A logical person with an eidetic memory and an IQ of 187.
Yes, Penny thinks to herself, Sheldon Cooper is a man of many things.
This, however, is not something she had ever expected of him.
Well, Sheldon on stage in front of a massive crowd isn't so implausible after a slutty Cuba Libre or two. Sheldon singing on aforementioned stage isn't so odd either. His song choice however...
“It's all because of you,
I'm feeling sad and blue
You went away,
Now my life is just a rainy day
And I love you so,
How much you'll never know
You've gone away and left me lonely.”
“Sheldon, I didn't know you were a fan of Sukiyaki,” Penny pipes up with a grin as the rambunctious crowd cheers him off the stage.
“Sukiyaki?” He repeats, giving her a strange look. “That isn't Sukiyaki. That was Utada Hikaru. In Japan, her country of origin, the last name goes first. She's very popular there.”
Penny refrains from rolling her eyes. Just barely. "I know who Utada Hikaru is!"
"You shouldn't end your sentences with the word 'is'. The correct thing to say would be, 'I know who is Utada Hikaru'."
The blonde's grey eyes narrow. "Oh yeah? Well, what's the correct way to remove microphones from throats?"
As the physicist is about to reply, he hears the karaoke machine start up the familiar strains of another favourite song and he quickly claims the microphone again.
“But I see your true colours
Shining through
I see your true colours
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colours,
True colours, are beautiful,
Like a rainbow.”
Penny refrains from rolling her eyes. Barely. She wonders what song is next. Probably something like Lady in Red, given the theme of the last few songs.
Sheldon bows to the audience's applause and just as he is about to make his exit, the next song comes on.
“Oh yay! Colors of the Wind!” He exclaims and proceeds to spend the rest of the night hogging the microphone.
END
Fic: For the Record
Author: zeto
Word Count: 200+
Genre: Attempts at humour
Prompt: Your Face is Stupid (though it can also fit under the category of 'games' as well since I mention both tennis and Age of Conan)
Leonard returns to the couch, passing Penny a bowl of popcorn. Giving her a slight nudge, he quietly prompts her to scoot over.
Now would be a disastrous time to interrupt the entertainment, just when it's getting good. Like any decent tennis match, the two of them watch with rapt fascination, heads simultaneously sweeping back and forth, from one side to the another.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah!”
“Well...well, your face is stupid then!”
“Your hair is stupid!”
“Your mom is stupid!”
“Your--your shoes are stupid and leave my mom out of this!”
“You started it!”
“No, you started it!”
“You started it and your Age of Conan character is stupid!”
Howard's eyes widen, mouth dropping in shock. “...That was below the belt and entirely uncalled for!”
“You insulted my hair!”
“Well, you insulted my mother!”
“As if that's hard to do!”
At that moment, Sheldon shuffles into the living room. “Howard, you're an idiot.”
The Jewish brunet glares.
“Raj, Penny's in the room.”
The astrophysicist manages a tiny, high-pitched 'eep' before his hands fly up and clamp over his mouth.
Just before he turns and leaves, having accomplished his mission for peace and quiet, Sheldon has one last thing to say though.
“And for the record, both your characters suck.”
THE END!