Aug 17, 2014 19:50
It's 7 years today and so hard to believe. As it's now past the time of the accident, I no longer have a single cell in my body that was part of who I was back then...then when I still had my Dad in my life. It's almost gut wrenching to think about that...no more physical connection to him, now it's only stuff and memories...
I do understand that I've also got him as a legacy in me and that will never go away. We found more home movies recently that have been transferred to DVD. It's so fun to watch, I think about how few I took of my own son. I wish I had more, more pictures and more memories but that's not really how it is for me. I'm probably being a little hard on myself about that.
I also went to the cabin this weekend with friends. It's so strange because whenever I'm there, I wonder why I'm not there more often. It's so beautiful and peaceful to be there. I know this year has been because I've been so busy trying to clear out my past life and open it up to whatever is next.
I think about the driver, I hope she is ok. I don't know how a person can live with that so I can't even imagine what she does with it.
I lit a candle for you at the restaurant, which is not a restaurant or a donut place anymore. It's empty and for rent. It's just so darn sad to me. Sat for a bit in the bit of sprinkles and then moved to the car, sang that song I always do...
Tonight, I'm just so tired.
dad,
grief,
deathiversary,
anniversary,
loss