Don't despair. Believe me, Z, we know what it's like to be in the deepest pit and wonder if it just keeps going down further. It's scary, and impossible to see out of. But if you keep walking forward, one day you look up and realize it's light again, and you're smiling, and you can't remember the last time you cried. Things are starting to really look up for us, for the first time in I don't know how long, and it's hard for me to even believe we really got here.
There's a verse in a Concrete Blonde song that I really like when I'm feeling like this: Things get better every day you stay alive And I'm amazed every day that the sun decides to rise Every minute, every hour is another chance to change Life is beautiful and terrible and strange.
Things will get better. You are no more a monster than we are bad writers -- there are so many things other than whether you deserve it that determine whether you get something. Hang in there. -- Jenny
This thought was continued in my phone post earlier today. :)
It's been a long time since I let myself cry. That being said, perhaps things would be easier if I allowed catharsis more often.
As for being a monster... what I cannot deny is that the seed is within me. And there have been times that, when I look back on my behavior, I can find no other way to describe what I see. Rage, jealousy, sloth... things I like to think I'm usually above find their way to my surface, and I am disgusted in myself.
As for hanging in there, I've no choice have I? I don't intend to quit living just yet...
it always surprises me to see that y'all have kept poking in every now and then. I'm flattered and honored, Jen. Hope things keep looking up on your side.
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There's a verse in a Concrete Blonde song that I really like when I'm feeling like this:
Things get better every day you stay alive
And I'm amazed every day that the sun decides to rise
Every minute, every hour is another chance to change
Life is beautiful and terrible and strange.
Things will get better. You are no more a monster than we are bad writers -- there are so many things other than whether you deserve it that determine whether you get something. Hang in there. -- Jenny
Reply
It's been a long time since I let myself cry. That being said, perhaps things would be easier if I allowed catharsis more often.
As for being a monster... what I cannot deny is that the seed is within me. And there have been times that, when I look back on my behavior, I can find no other way to describe what I see. Rage, jealousy, sloth... things I like to think I'm usually above find their way to my surface, and I am disgusted in myself.
As for hanging in there, I've no choice have I? I don't intend to quit living just yet...
it always surprises me to see that y'all have kept poking in every now and then. I'm flattered and honored, Jen. Hope things keep looking up on your side.
Reply
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