a death.
i awoke to hysterical crying from my mother.
my panicing father repeating:
"your gram"
i left two minutes later to my destination.
when i shut the car door i saw sullen faces.
medics with sympathetic faces.
this is what she wanted.
a human body covered in a white sheet.
blue fingers sticking out the side.
a quiet house with hard to hear sobs.
should i be happy, or should i be sad?
i heard she died on her hands and knees.
was it painful?
was she gasping for air?
those pills she pick and chose.
these wishes i have, they mean nothing now.
i wished to help more. i wished my aunt didn't have to wake up to find my gram dead on the floor.
i wish that i could of said one last thing that meant something to her.
what WAS the last thing i said to her?
i read to her the back of a pill bottle she asked me to read.
i waved as she left.
(we were selling my pap's stuff at community day)
she didn't wave back.
she didn't see me as she was driven away.
she was heartbroken.
her lover had passed and now we were selling his possessions.
it seemed almost final.
that was her last straw.
she was ready to be with him.
i heard she hid pills in her bra last night.
the coroner told us he found them this morning.
we laughed.
that's my gram.
she likes to be sneaky.
she liked dark chocolate when she knew her sugar was too high.
she loved her half sugar/nesquik half coffee..coffee.
giant popsicles you bought at Ron's market.
once she told me she had nothing to live for anymore.
i said "your children and granchildren, you still have us. besides, the grass is still green and the sky is still blue."
what did she reply back?
"my grass needs mowed"
she used to let me paint at her table. she was there to watch my every stroke.
oh my word, she was a wonderful at creativity.
her crafts were beautiful.
at 39 she suffered a heart attack.
downfall.
watching the downfall of both my pap and gram
really shook me up.
as long as their pain free and happy now..
i'm happy.
she was 58.
he was 60.
one year and a few months apart.
two lovers reunited.
love is life and death.
my panicing father repeating:
"your gram"
i left two minutes later to my destination.
when i shut the car door i saw sullen faces.
medics with sympathetic faces.
this is what she wanted.
a human body covered in a white sheet.
blue fingers sticking out the side.
a quiet house with hard to hear sobs.
should i be happy, or should i be sad?
i heard she died on her hands and knees.
was it painful?
was she gasping for air?
those pills she pick and chose.
these wishes i have, they mean nothing now.
i wished to help more. i wished my aunt didn't have to wake up to find my gram dead on the floor.
i wish that i could of said one last thing that meant something to her.
what WAS the last thing i said to her?
i read to her the back of a pill bottle she asked me to read.
i waved as she left.
(we were selling my pap's stuff at community day)
she didn't wave back.
she didn't see me as she was driven away.
she was heartbroken.
her lover had passed and now we were selling his possessions.
it seemed almost final.
that was her last straw.
she was ready to be with him.
i heard she hid pills in her bra last night.
the coroner told us he found them this morning.
we laughed.
that's my gram.
she likes to be sneaky.
she liked dark chocolate when she knew her sugar was too high.
she loved her half sugar/nesquik half coffee..coffee.
giant popsicles you bought at Ron's market.
once she told me she had nothing to live for anymore.
i said "your children and granchildren, you still have us. besides, the grass is still green and the sky is still blue."
what did she reply back?
"my grass needs mowed"
she used to let me paint at her table. she was there to watch my every stroke.
oh my word, she was a wonderful at creativity.
her crafts were beautiful.
at 39 she suffered a heart attack.
downfall.
watching the downfall of both my pap and gram
really shook me up.
as long as their pain free and happy now..
i'm happy.
she was 58.
he was 60.
one year and a few months apart.
two lovers reunited.
love is life and death.