Letter to My Fifteen Year Old Self
Dan Savage has recently started an online campaign labeled "It Gets Better" to help empower the LGBT youth who are at risk for bullying and suicide. Many people are writing letters and creating vlogs directed to their 15 year old self in hopes that it will show others that it is possible make it through very dark times in their lives. Unfortunately, I don't have a vlog, and my letter is of such personal nature that I'd like to share it with friends, first. This is kind of spur of the moment, so excuse the grammatical errors and the fact that it may not flow all that well.
Dear Fifteen Year Old Self
I know that you simply don't fit in. You've had to endure other kids holding you against a fence while others wiped their feet on you, being spit on by the other boys in P.E. because you weren't athletic enough, being pushed around because dolls were your favorite playthings as a child, and a seemingly endless number of other humiliations that you put up with because you didn't feel like you were good enough to have respect. Sometimes you cry because it becomes increasingly more difficult to deny that you would rather marry a man than a woman. I also know that you still sometimes lay awake at night with your blankets wrapped tightly around you because it's the only thing that provides security against a man who enjoys the feel of a sleeping boy. You don't tell anybody that you've been hurt because if people knew you were a freak, they'd only tell you that you deserved it.
I'm not here to tell you that things are going to be perfect, but obviously you will make it through it. Your love of video games will soon connect you to some amazing people. You will meet your best friend. She will make you laugh and be there when you simply need to cry and not feel ashamed, and although things won't always be perfect between the two of you, you will always know that she cares for you. You will realize that there is nothing wrong with the fact that you liked dolls instead of basketballs and punching gloves. In fact, you will learn to do some pretty creative things with old dolls that you find in thrift stores and even show off your restored treasures to family and friends. Someday you'll realize that it is not your fault that a grown man decided to take advantage of you as a boy. You are not a freak, and no one, gay or straight, deserves to have a his child hood taken away from him or her. You'll be able to stand up for yourself and tell people that you have been beaten and you have been molested, but nobody will ever take away your dignity or your right to be loved.
I know that things are pretty scary for you and that sometimes you wish you were the same as everybody else, but you have much more courage than you realize. You will be glad that you are different because ultimately it's what gives you courage. You have gone through some tough things and still have some time to go before you learn to respect yourself, but believe me when I say that it gets better.
Dear Fifteen Year Old Self
I know that you simply don't fit in. You've had to endure other kids holding you against a fence while others wiped their feet on you, being spit on by the other boys in P.E. because you weren't athletic enough, being pushed around because dolls were your favorite playthings as a child, and a seemingly endless number of other humiliations that you put up with because you didn't feel like you were good enough to have respect. Sometimes you cry because it becomes increasingly more difficult to deny that you would rather marry a man than a woman. I also know that you still sometimes lay awake at night with your blankets wrapped tightly around you because it's the only thing that provides security against a man who enjoys the feel of a sleeping boy. You don't tell anybody that you've been hurt because if people knew you were a freak, they'd only tell you that you deserved it.
I'm not here to tell you that things are going to be perfect, but obviously you will make it through it. Your love of video games will soon connect you to some amazing people. You will meet your best friend. She will make you laugh and be there when you simply need to cry and not feel ashamed, and although things won't always be perfect between the two of you, you will always know that she cares for you. You will realize that there is nothing wrong with the fact that you liked dolls instead of basketballs and punching gloves. In fact, you will learn to do some pretty creative things with old dolls that you find in thrift stores and even show off your restored treasures to family and friends. Someday you'll realize that it is not your fault that a grown man decided to take advantage of you as a boy. You are not a freak, and no one, gay or straight, deserves to have a his child hood taken away from him or her. You'll be able to stand up for yourself and tell people that you have been beaten and you have been molested, but nobody will ever take away your dignity or your right to be loved.
I know that things are pretty scary for you and that sometimes you wish you were the same as everybody else, but you have much more courage than you realize. You will be glad that you are different because ultimately it's what gives you courage. You have gone through some tough things and still have some time to go before you learn to respect yourself, but believe me when I say that it gets better.