Back from the mountain

[zerogirl29]

Well, now that I'm back, I really don't know what to say/think/feel about the past 2 months on the mountain. It was beautiful, I know that much is certain, and the skies were unlike any I'd ever seen before - even in Costa Rica and Bolivia, which is saying a lot. Living under the darkest skies east of the Mississippi and having a group of astrologists come out to star gaze every new moon gave me a new appreciation for the night sky. It was so calm and peaceful to just go out alone and be. Sadly, the only times when I felt totally at peace with myself were when I was alone, which didn't happen too often. Mostly it was just when we were all sitting around drinking and I took off to go look at the stars, or when I went out to the Knob or the Lake on my days off that I got a chance to relax and feel like myself again. I don't really know what happened to me that changed me so much. The only time I remember being with the whole group and really myself was around the fire on the night of the pig roast when Heather and Zack were playing Wagon Wheel (I grew quite fond of bluegrass while I was on the mountain) and out of nowhere I just started to sing... I had been singing before but not the way I do when I think others are listening... It was weird and I don't know how exactly to explain it except to say that it was the first time I finally felt completely free to be myself and not caring who heard or how I sounded or anything. I wish I had hit that point sometime in the first week, because I feel like things could have been really different if that had been the case. However, I still had a great time, I got to spend 2 months in the most beautiful forest I've seen here, I got to watch the colors change in a way I've never experienced before, and I got to play in 8 inches of snow on a mountain top in October. All in all, it was a great time, and I hope to go back in April.

On another note, I need to make myself a couple good bluegrass CD's!! I never thought I would grow to love it as much as I did. =)

And tomorrow - Chicago!

So rock me mama like a wagon wheel
Rock me mama anyway you feel
Hey mama rock me
Rock me mama like the wind and the rain
Rock me mama like a south-bound train
Hey mama rock me