This city breaks my heart.
"Prom(iscuous) King(dom)"
Tired of being the ugly boy around pretty girls
They never catch me looking because they never look at me
I wish they had X-ray vision instead of magazine measurements
So they could look past the deformities
See my bones and the poetry carved into them
The marrow composed of my passion and sincerity
See the butane pumping through my veins
And my future as a living, breathing Molotov cocktail
My skull is a bank of memories and issues
Please make a deposit; cash, check, or money order
This body is a closet and there's only one skeleton in it
My sex drive turned into a car crash
Wishing this lamppost was your arms instead
Wanting you to open up, but not with your thighs
I don't care if you don't care
Nor do I care if you will ever love me
I just want a one night stand where we sit
And let me penetrate your ears
Submit your full attention to me
And then let me do the same to you
A sixty-nine of intellectual and emotional stimulation
And we'll listen to each other, lights on or off
Though I'd prefer to wear a suit of shadows
So that my looks are no longer a factor
I just want to be a whisper that you wish were louder
Instead of a personality that were a lot prettier
My will to live is writing its own will
Signing off its personal property of damaged goods
Handing out my bar graph row of teeth
My bloated body and emaciated pride
This half-empty body of blood and guts
This leaky head that spills shit all over your carpet
Faulty lungs like clogged bags in vacuum cleaners
And a heart that's more like a rod stuck in the gears
An entire estate of physical and mental flaws
A hundred acres of dirt, trenches, and open graves
Where the only thing that successfully sprouts
Are tumors and bulbs of time wasted
Ya can't sell these things, so just lock them in my old bedroom
Because they're not worth the plastic bag they came in
I'll spare you my schoolgirl mess of confusions
And my greatest hits collection of cliche insecurities
As long as when I ask for some spare change
You change my mind about what's really important to girls
And when I ask for the time
You just give me the time of day, for a change
Oh, ladies
When I say you're on my mind
I mean it in the same way a tick can be
----------------------------------------------------------------
Got this yesterday...
xxxxxxx18xxxxxxx: Did you grow a beard
xBigUglyLoserx: Who is this?
xxxxxxx18xxxxxxx: BEARD... Did you grow one?
xBigUglyLoserx: Unfortunately, I cannot disclose such information until you disclose your identity.
xxxxxxx18xxxxxxx: Never mind.
xBigUglyLoserx: You suck.
xxxxxxx18xxxxxxx: Mature.
xBigUglyLoserx: I've had a beard for like two years.
xxxxxxx18xxxxxxx: Sweet! I just won fifty bucks.
xBigUglyLoserx: Haha. Seriously?
xxxxxxx18xxxxxxx: Yes.
xBigUglyLoserx: Awesome.
xBigUglyLoserx: I'm not allowed to know who this is or why you just won $50, am I?
xxxxxxx18xxxxxxx: Nah.
xBigUglyLoserx: Haha. Fair enough. Enjoy the $50 that I helped you win!
Just a few things today...
- At the vegetarian expo, I saw a girl named Laura that I used to have this HUGE crush on around the same time I had started getting into a relationship with Burgundy. She was pregnant. Very pregnant. It made me sad.
- I talked to this girl on AIM a lot yesterday named Danielle. She's one of the prettiest girls I've ever seen, which is why I messaged her on MySpace. I'm a creep, so I just wanted to tell her that I thought she was pretty. While we talked on AIM, I asked her a lot of questions and basically, she's going through so much tough shit in her life right now. And even though I don't care much about human beings, it made me really sad.
- Last night, Jason X and Symphony, like the nigger pussies that they are, decided on a whim to jump my friends Nico and Brianna in Scotia, outside of Dunkin Donuts. This was without any provocation whatsoever. Nico got hit in the face three times. Brianna got scratched up or something by that beast Symphony (who for some reason reminds me a lot of Birdo). Then they drove off in Allen's car, because he's officially all the beauXrichieXcore faggots' xchaffeurx. How pathetic. Anyways, I hate this city and this made me really sad. Because Nico's one of the most kindhearted, genuine people I've met in a while and the last thing he deserved was to get hit by such a total waste of space such as Jason. Him and Brianna are pressing charges, though. Everyone who was present for this fight, including Bob Hood, was outed by name to the police last night subsequent to the assault. Hopefully, karma comes back from its vacation and something finally happens to these total piece of shit. And Allen could get in a lot of trouble, more than he probably even realizes, for being an accomplice and getaway driver. I hate everyone.
- I don't think I'm gonna make enough money to go to Philly this month. This makes me sad. Because I don't think I can handle another single day in this culturally devoid shithole filled with some of the scummiest people to have ever been born. This place isn't a city, and it isn't a town. It's just a tar pit of concrete.
- In the last month or so: Jason Edge has stopped speaking to me, for unknown reasons. Rob has stopped speaking to me because I think drugs are bad. Allen stopped speaking to me because I refused to ditch my plans with Kara for him one night. These things make me sad.
- Even though a lot of things make me sad, I'm happier than I've been in a long time. I'm surviving to the best of my abilities and I think I kinda sorta love life. Well, the concept of life. Not exactly life itself, heh.
This is the prettypretty girl who makes me sad:
I had to post it in here because those freckles destroy me.
What made me die inside today?
The Church of England apologizes to Charles Darwin. lolz. Even though he died 126 years ago, they for some reason think they should apologize now for demonizing his theory of evolution. It's almost like they're mocking him, I swear.
This unholy beast said, quote, "It’s absolutely ludicrous. Why don’t we have the Italians apologizing for Pontius Pilate? We’ve already apologized for slavery and for the Crusades. When is it all going to stop?" Dear Church of England: Just because you think Darwin can hear your apology in Hell doesn't mean that he can. And no, you can't join the club of rationalists just because you're groveling now!
I still gotta write my second Syracuse entry. Fuck, I'm bad at this. :/
Tired of being the ugly boy around pretty girls
They never catch me looking because they never look at me
I wish they had X-ray vision instead of magazine measurements
So they could look past the deformities
See my bones and the poetry carved into them
The marrow composed of my passion and sincerity
See the butane pumping through my veins
And my future as a living, breathing Molotov cocktail
My skull is a bank of memories and issues
Please make a deposit; cash, check, or money order
This body is a closet and there's only one skeleton in it
My sex drive turned into a car crash
Wishing this lamppost was your arms instead
Wanting you to open up, but not with your thighs
I don't care if you don't care
Nor do I care if you will ever love me
I just want a one night stand where we sit
And let me penetrate your ears
Submit your full attention to me
And then let me do the same to you
A sixty-nine of intellectual and emotional stimulation
And we'll listen to each other, lights on or off
Though I'd prefer to wear a suit of shadows
So that my looks are no longer a factor
I just want to be a whisper that you wish were louder
Instead of a personality that were a lot prettier
My will to live is writing its own will
Signing off its personal property of damaged goods
Handing out my bar graph row of teeth
My bloated body and emaciated pride
This half-empty body of blood and guts
This leaky head that spills shit all over your carpet
Faulty lungs like clogged bags in vacuum cleaners
And a heart that's more like a rod stuck in the gears
An entire estate of physical and mental flaws
A hundred acres of dirt, trenches, and open graves
Where the only thing that successfully sprouts
Are tumors and bulbs of time wasted
Ya can't sell these things, so just lock them in my old bedroom
Because they're not worth the plastic bag they came in
I'll spare you my schoolgirl mess of confusions
And my greatest hits collection of cliche insecurities
As long as when I ask for some spare change
You change my mind about what's really important to girls
And when I ask for the time
You just give me the time of day, for a change
Oh, ladies
When I say you're on my mind
I mean it in the same way a tick can be
----------------------------------------------------------------
Got this yesterday...
xxxxxxx18xxxxxxx: Did you grow a beard
xBigUglyLoserx: Who is this?
xxxxxxx18xxxxxxx: BEARD... Did you grow one?
xBigUglyLoserx: Unfortunately, I cannot disclose such information until you disclose your identity.
xxxxxxx18xxxxxxx: Never mind.
xBigUglyLoserx: You suck.
xxxxxxx18xxxxxxx: Mature.
xBigUglyLoserx: I've had a beard for like two years.
xxxxxxx18xxxxxxx: Sweet! I just won fifty bucks.
xBigUglyLoserx: Haha. Seriously?
xxxxxxx18xxxxxxx: Yes.
xBigUglyLoserx: Awesome.
xBigUglyLoserx: I'm not allowed to know who this is or why you just won $50, am I?
xxxxxxx18xxxxxxx: Nah.
xBigUglyLoserx: Haha. Fair enough. Enjoy the $50 that I helped you win!
Just a few things today...
- At the vegetarian expo, I saw a girl named Laura that I used to have this HUGE crush on around the same time I had started getting into a relationship with Burgundy. She was pregnant. Very pregnant. It made me sad.
- I talked to this girl on AIM a lot yesterday named Danielle. She's one of the prettiest girls I've ever seen, which is why I messaged her on MySpace. I'm a creep, so I just wanted to tell her that I thought she was pretty. While we talked on AIM, I asked her a lot of questions and basically, she's going through so much tough shit in her life right now. And even though I don't care much about human beings, it made me really sad.
- Last night, Jason X and Symphony, like the nigger pussies that they are, decided on a whim to jump my friends Nico and Brianna in Scotia, outside of Dunkin Donuts. This was without any provocation whatsoever. Nico got hit in the face three times. Brianna got scratched up or something by that beast Symphony (who for some reason reminds me a lot of Birdo). Then they drove off in Allen's car, because he's officially all the beauXrichieXcore faggots' xchaffeurx. How pathetic. Anyways, I hate this city and this made me really sad. Because Nico's one of the most kindhearted, genuine people I've met in a while and the last thing he deserved was to get hit by such a total waste of space such as Jason. Him and Brianna are pressing charges, though. Everyone who was present for this fight, including Bob Hood, was outed by name to the police last night subsequent to the assault. Hopefully, karma comes back from its vacation and something finally happens to these total piece of shit. And Allen could get in a lot of trouble, more than he probably even realizes, for being an accomplice and getaway driver. I hate everyone.
- I don't think I'm gonna make enough money to go to Philly this month. This makes me sad. Because I don't think I can handle another single day in this culturally devoid shithole filled with some of the scummiest people to have ever been born. This place isn't a city, and it isn't a town. It's just a tar pit of concrete.
- In the last month or so: Jason Edge has stopped speaking to me, for unknown reasons. Rob has stopped speaking to me because I think drugs are bad. Allen stopped speaking to me because I refused to ditch my plans with Kara for him one night. These things make me sad.
- Even though a lot of things make me sad, I'm happier than I've been in a long time. I'm surviving to the best of my abilities and I think I kinda sorta love life. Well, the concept of life. Not exactly life itself, heh.
This is the prettypretty girl who makes me sad:
I had to post it in here because those freckles destroy me.
What made me die inside today?
The Church of England apologizes to Charles Darwin. lolz. Even though he died 126 years ago, they for some reason think they should apologize now for demonizing his theory of evolution. It's almost like they're mocking him, I swear.
This unholy beast said, quote, "It’s absolutely ludicrous. Why don’t we have the Italians apologizing for Pontius Pilate? We’ve already apologized for slavery and for the Crusades. When is it all going to stop?" Dear Church of England: Just because you think Darwin can hear your apology in Hell doesn't mean that he can. And no, you can't join the club of rationalists just because you're groveling now!
I still gotta write my second Syracuse entry. Fuck, I'm bad at this. :/