the final showdown.
have i actually spent these past years lying to myself? have i convinced myself that god won't help me? i think i have. i think, well actually i know. i have lost my faith. i have lost my heart. i have even lost my mind. i don't have anything anymore. it's just me, being 23 and sleeping on a couch in my old room at my parents house. someone told me that they admired me because i keep pushing forward. i will do that. i'm not going another day ignoring the truth. ignoring the facts that are surrounding my life right now. i drink to much, among other things. i need to break free.
i am an addict. addicted to many different things. i don't want to be one anymore. what happened to me? how did i let my life get so low. i don't know. have you ever heard that old saying "it's always darkest before dawn"? i have. many times.
i hope something happens soon. it's looking pretty dark right now. evil is around me. i feel death. i hope i can make it through this night. i'm sick of feeling dread. where is my happiness? where is my love? where are you, father?
something i'm working on that reminded me of someone who is always on my mind:
"i'll stay right here. i'll never disappear, and i'll be with you...someday"
how many times have i said "someday" to her? it's time to change that once and for all.
i am an addict. addicted to many different things. i don't want to be one anymore. what happened to me? how did i let my life get so low. i don't know. have you ever heard that old saying "it's always darkest before dawn"? i have. many times.
i hope something happens soon. it's looking pretty dark right now. evil is around me. i feel death. i hope i can make it through this night. i'm sick of feeling dread. where is my happiness? where is my love? where are you, father?
something i'm working on that reminded me of someone who is always on my mind:
"i'll stay right here. i'll never disappear, and i'll be with you...someday"
how many times have i said "someday" to her? it's time to change that once and for all.