Best Show in the Galaxy, a Doctor Who fanfiction
Title: Best Show in the Galaxy
Genre: Humour
Characters/Pairing: Doctor/Master, three anonymous Time Lords
Rating/Warning/Spoilers: PG/ Dialogue only story/ Only if you haven't watched the old Master episodes.
Summary: "Tonight on Gallifrey 1: You saw them grow up, you saw them fall in love with each other and you witnessed their epic break up. Now watch as Gallifrey's favourite renegades confront each other again!" - Three producers of the Gallifreyan TV talk about the most epic and complicated love story in Time Lord history. Provides as well retcon for certain serials and the true reason for the end of the Last Great Time War.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Best Show in the Galaxy
*on a nice sunny day on Gallifrey*
“Have you heard? Koschei is on his way to Earth!”
“So what?”
“...”
“...”
“What?”
“I think he is too young to remember...”
“Too young to remember? We are talking about the most epic love story in the universe, I don't care how young he is!”
“So, it's good?”
“Are you kidding me? If we broadcast this it'll be the best soap opera in Time Lord history!”
“Well, you better go and tell Theta his Ex is back. And we prepare the cameras.”
*some time later*
“We are in trouble!”
“Why?”
“They both will be on Gallifrey soon!”
“And that's a problem?”
“Rassilon, I don't care how old you are, just catch up on them, will you?”
“If they find out that we are broadcasting their relationship, we are all dead!”
“Quick, bring out a special announcement! Tell everyone not to tell them!”
“And you think that'll work?”
“Oh, then make it a game or something. Tell everyone, tell them...oh, I don't know, that they should all pretend not to know who the Master is or something. And whoever talks is going to be a special guest in the remake of 'The Death Zone'. Just hurry!”
*some time later*
“Do you think we went too far? I mean a good chunk of the universe just for our entertainment?”
“And won't that kill their UST?”
“Just wait.”
*some time later*
“Ah, I see what you meant.”
“Yes. I just wished they would tune it down a bit. More innuendo and we will have to raise the rating.”
“At least it was worth a part of the universe.”
*again some time later*
“Ouch, that seems to be it then.”
“No one can possibly survive that.”
“Just you wait.”
*some unspecified time later*
“Huh, so he really is indestructible?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“You know what they say about Time Lords in love, or hate, or whatever.”
*some time...oh you know*
“Quick, get them both out of there. Different planets preferably!”
“But, but...!”
“We can't bring hot Cheetah!Sex on prime time!”
“Oh, all right...”
*some time later, again*
“Can they be more blatant? He wants my body, indeed!”
“Yes...How come we are still allowed to broadcast this?”
“I just told the High Council, he wants his regenerations, not, you know.”
*not a very long time later*
“Is the TARDIS jealous? He really should send her to inspection. Really, I wouldn't allow my TARDIS to grow a consciousness.”
“Definitely jealous. I just wonder of whom...”
“Am I the only one who thinks it's slightly kinky that he is now inside his TARDIS?”
“No.”
“No.”
*Nearly at the end of the Last Great Time War *
“So the High Council brought him back?”
“Does that mean we can broadcast again?”
“If so, we must raise the rating, reunion scene and all that!”
“We can't...”
“Why?”
“The High Council does not want them to meet each other, until the war is over.”
“Why? Are they mad?”
“No, they just think, if they allow them to meet, we will surely lose the war, because those two will be occupied with another kind of fighting...”
*At the very end of the Time War*
“Who left the copy of the specials laying around?”
“Me...Why?”
“You stupid idiot!”
“What happened?”
“He found it. He saw it!”
“Oh, crap!”
“I guess that's bad?”
“Bad? Bad? We are all going to die now thanks to you!”
due to technical problems we are now unable to broadcast
Genre: Humour
Characters/Pairing: Doctor/Master, three anonymous Time Lords
Rating/Warning/Spoilers: PG/ Dialogue only story/ Only if you haven't watched the old Master episodes.
Summary: "Tonight on Gallifrey 1: You saw them grow up, you saw them fall in love with each other and you witnessed their epic break up. Now watch as Gallifrey's favourite renegades confront each other again!" - Three producers of the Gallifreyan TV talk about the most epic and complicated love story in Time Lord history. Provides as well retcon for certain serials and the true reason for the end of the Last Great Time War.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Best Show in the Galaxy
*on a nice sunny day on Gallifrey*
“Have you heard? Koschei is on his way to Earth!”
“So what?”
“...”
“...”
“What?”
“I think he is too young to remember...”
“Too young to remember? We are talking about the most epic love story in the universe, I don't care how young he is!”
“So, it's good?”
“Are you kidding me? If we broadcast this it'll be the best soap opera in Time Lord history!”
“Well, you better go and tell Theta his Ex is back. And we prepare the cameras.”
*some time later*
“We are in trouble!”
“Why?”
“They both will be on Gallifrey soon!”
“And that's a problem?”
“Rassilon, I don't care how old you are, just catch up on them, will you?”
“If they find out that we are broadcasting their relationship, we are all dead!”
“Quick, bring out a special announcement! Tell everyone not to tell them!”
“And you think that'll work?”
“Oh, then make it a game or something. Tell everyone, tell them...oh, I don't know, that they should all pretend not to know who the Master is or something. And whoever talks is going to be a special guest in the remake of 'The Death Zone'. Just hurry!”
*some time later*
“Do you think we went too far? I mean a good chunk of the universe just for our entertainment?”
“And won't that kill their UST?”
“Just wait.”
*some time later*
“Ah, I see what you meant.”
“Yes. I just wished they would tune it down a bit. More innuendo and we will have to raise the rating.”
“At least it was worth a part of the universe.”
*again some time later*
“Ouch, that seems to be it then.”
“No one can possibly survive that.”
“Just you wait.”
*some unspecified time later*
“Huh, so he really is indestructible?”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“You know what they say about Time Lords in love, or hate, or whatever.”
*some time...oh you know*
“Quick, get them both out of there. Different planets preferably!”
“But, but...!”
“We can't bring hot Cheetah!Sex on prime time!”
“Oh, all right...”
*some time later, again*
“Can they be more blatant? He wants my body, indeed!”
“Yes...How come we are still allowed to broadcast this?”
“I just told the High Council, he wants his regenerations, not, you know.”
*not a very long time later*
“Is the TARDIS jealous? He really should send her to inspection. Really, I wouldn't allow my TARDIS to grow a consciousness.”
“Definitely jealous. I just wonder of whom...”
“Am I the only one who thinks it's slightly kinky that he is now inside his TARDIS?”
“No.”
“No.”
*Nearly at the end of the Last Great Time War *
“So the High Council brought him back?”
“Does that mean we can broadcast again?”
“If so, we must raise the rating, reunion scene and all that!”
“We can't...”
“Why?”
“The High Council does not want them to meet each other, until the war is over.”
“Why? Are they mad?”
“No, they just think, if they allow them to meet, we will surely lose the war, because those two will be occupied with another kind of fighting...”
*At the very end of the Time War*
“Who left the copy of the specials laying around?”
“Me...Why?”
“You stupid idiot!”
“What happened?”
“He found it. He saw it!”
“Oh, crap!”
“I guess that's bad?”
“Bad? Bad? We are all going to die now thanks to you!”
due to technical problems we are now unable to broadcast