(no subject)
Bleh! Bleh, I say!
Life in St Louis has been interesting. And by interesting, I mean intensely frustrating.
Trisha called me today. Last night we had a talk about how we're not dating any more, which I'm more than happy with. She finally figured out that we're way too different and want way too different things out of a relationship to be compatible, and that we're still really good friends regardless and probably will always be. And as she was talking she looked really scared and worried and guilty and that she was hurting me so much by saying it when all I felt was immense, tremendous, huge relief that finally, after all these months, she FINALLY got it.
And today she calls me saying that she has to talk. Um.
Also, she keeps saying that I'm really pretty, which makes me feel weird and self-conscious and also kind of happy, and it's discomforting.
Work is stupid. At least, frustrating. I've got planned three phases to my project. Phase 1: Grow the damn algae in a flask and watch how they grow, and which one grows best. Phase 2: Figure out what mix of chemicals helps them grow the fastest. Phase 3: Genetic engineering, mess around with metabolic genes to see if they can be made to produce more lipids.
So I have the summer to do this, so I figured, what, first half of May for Phase 1, June for Phase 2, probably try to do them in parallel so I can get to Phase 3 before July?
Wrong. It's mid-June already and I am just starting (for the third time) phase 1. It's been so annoying that I'm planning to go into work tomorrow (Sunday) just to get this started as quickly as I can and be done with this part of the project.
I'm starting to learn the c-walk, just because I have very little else to do nowadays. It's pretty tough, takes a lot more athleticism than the melbourne shuffle (which gets me winded too). Instead of shuffling's 2 basic steps, C-walk has three, all three of which takes more coordination and endurance than I have right now, so it's going to be a pretty tough grind to get my skills up to where I can do them competently before I can even think about adding style and flair to it. But I'm learning, and working at it, and if my experience with learning how to shuffle is any gauge, this shouldn't feel too hard once I get it, and I know (and this is what keeps me sane) that it's hard to realize how much I'm improving while I'm struggling to learn it.
I aced the MCAT on friday. Not intentionally; I didn't study for it or anything, but every single question read like a simplified version of any of my exams from my freshman and sophomore year bio major prerequisites, which I guess is what Wash U's bio program is designed for. So my parents are happy and the whole disowning thing is completely forgotten and they're all over me again, and I'm not sure how I feel.
On a whim, I went to Amazon and bought seasons 8 and 9 of Everybody Loves Raymond for my dad for Father's day. I've never bought my parents anything before, but I remembered that that show makes him roll over the floor laughing, and I thought it'd be a nice gesture, and I got a really touching phone call from him coinciding with me telling him of my acing of the MCATs, and it made me feel warm and fuzzy. It's weird.
I think I've been feeling depressed lately, and I think I know why. It's not that there's anything particularly wrong going on, but a general absence of awesome things. Life feels kind of... dull. Work, computer, video games, food, bleh. I feel like I wanna go out and do stuff! Meet awesome people, do things, have fun, see the world, visit people, do something that's totally awesome and in the now. The work that I'm doing right now is completely focused on the future: grad school prospects and career prospects, and I'm doing great at it, but I'm not doing anything for the here and now. Pretty much all I'm doing in my spare time is vegetating, which makes me feel restless and unhappy.
Although Rachael should be visiting in two weeks, and we're going to see Paul Van Dyk in concert at Dante's, which should be awesome. I'm looking forward to it =D
Until then though, life is gonna continue to be blah. Maybe I should find a random country to travel to in the meantime.
Life in St Louis has been interesting. And by interesting, I mean intensely frustrating.
Trisha called me today. Last night we had a talk about how we're not dating any more, which I'm more than happy with. She finally figured out that we're way too different and want way too different things out of a relationship to be compatible, and that we're still really good friends regardless and probably will always be. And as she was talking she looked really scared and worried and guilty and that she was hurting me so much by saying it when all I felt was immense, tremendous, huge relief that finally, after all these months, she FINALLY got it.
And today she calls me saying that she has to talk. Um.
Also, she keeps saying that I'm really pretty, which makes me feel weird and self-conscious and also kind of happy, and it's discomforting.
Work is stupid. At least, frustrating. I've got planned three phases to my project. Phase 1: Grow the damn algae in a flask and watch how they grow, and which one grows best. Phase 2: Figure out what mix of chemicals helps them grow the fastest. Phase 3: Genetic engineering, mess around with metabolic genes to see if they can be made to produce more lipids.
So I have the summer to do this, so I figured, what, first half of May for Phase 1, June for Phase 2, probably try to do them in parallel so I can get to Phase 3 before July?
Wrong. It's mid-June already and I am just starting (for the third time) phase 1. It's been so annoying that I'm planning to go into work tomorrow (Sunday) just to get this started as quickly as I can and be done with this part of the project.
I'm starting to learn the c-walk, just because I have very little else to do nowadays. It's pretty tough, takes a lot more athleticism than the melbourne shuffle (which gets me winded too). Instead of shuffling's 2 basic steps, C-walk has three, all three of which takes more coordination and endurance than I have right now, so it's going to be a pretty tough grind to get my skills up to where I can do them competently before I can even think about adding style and flair to it. But I'm learning, and working at it, and if my experience with learning how to shuffle is any gauge, this shouldn't feel too hard once I get it, and I know (and this is what keeps me sane) that it's hard to realize how much I'm improving while I'm struggling to learn it.
I aced the MCAT on friday. Not intentionally; I didn't study for it or anything, but every single question read like a simplified version of any of my exams from my freshman and sophomore year bio major prerequisites, which I guess is what Wash U's bio program is designed for. So my parents are happy and the whole disowning thing is completely forgotten and they're all over me again, and I'm not sure how I feel.
On a whim, I went to Amazon and bought seasons 8 and 9 of Everybody Loves Raymond for my dad for Father's day. I've never bought my parents anything before, but I remembered that that show makes him roll over the floor laughing, and I thought it'd be a nice gesture, and I got a really touching phone call from him coinciding with me telling him of my acing of the MCATs, and it made me feel warm and fuzzy. It's weird.
I think I've been feeling depressed lately, and I think I know why. It's not that there's anything particularly wrong going on, but a general absence of awesome things. Life feels kind of... dull. Work, computer, video games, food, bleh. I feel like I wanna go out and do stuff! Meet awesome people, do things, have fun, see the world, visit people, do something that's totally awesome and in the now. The work that I'm doing right now is completely focused on the future: grad school prospects and career prospects, and I'm doing great at it, but I'm not doing anything for the here and now. Pretty much all I'm doing in my spare time is vegetating, which makes me feel restless and unhappy.
Although Rachael should be visiting in two weeks, and we're going to see Paul Van Dyk in concert at Dante's, which should be awesome. I'm looking forward to it =D
Until then though, life is gonna continue to be blah. Maybe I should find a random country to travel to in the meantime.