Persona 3: Burning Black (In My Lungs) (Akihiko/Shinjiro, 1/1)
Author: Chiara (stonemarionette, zephyrian)
Pairing(s)/Main Character(s): Akihiko/Shinjiro, mentions of S.E.E.S.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~1,700 words
Disclaimer: Persona 3 is property of Atlus.
Spoilers: Through January, albeit brief and kind of vague.
Thanks: SecretBox!
Summary: They take comfort in memories, ghosts.
Maybe there is hope in fragments, that what is lost
can always be filled in by someone who knows.
-David Levithan
Akihiko reminds Shinjiro of Miki.
Shinjiro reminds Akihiko of Miki.
That’s all that matters. While they can, they take comfort in memories, ghosts. Soon, they’ll be old enough to know better.
― ¤ ―
Akihiko wondered if taking SEES’ newest leader along for the ride was a mistake. Barring that one stupid excursion into the slums behind Port Island, Shinjiro and Minato had never really met, and Shinji didn’t take too well to people who tried to be his friend. Aki had learned that the hard way.
In the end, it worked, and with Amada Ken as a bargaining chip, Shinjiro agreed to return.
“Is my room still vacant?” he asked, first. Instead of answering, Akihiko held out the silver case that held Shinji’s Evoker and smiled.
― ¤ ―
Akihiko still goes to the burnt remains of his childhood home, sometimes. The wreckage of the orphanage stands like a charred pillar, blackened by soot and yellowed with age, spearing the flawless surface of the blue sky and fragmenting the clouds.
The rubble extends as far as the eye can see. He thinks it’s beautiful, in some sick, twisted way, as he stands in the long, messy grass in front of the wrought-iron gate. The vegetation at his feet is worn down in the shape of footprints from the number of times he’s disturbed the quiet.
The day he comes back to SEES after a two-year absence, Shinjiro joins Akihiko by the ruins, and they stand together in silence.
― ¤ ―
When Akihiko caught Shinjiro talking quietly with Minato in the darkest corner of the lounge, he was more than a little surprised. He hadn’t expected Shinji to touch the new members of SEES with a ten-foot pole, and yet there he was, with one of Minato’s headphones pressed against his ear.
Aki, amused and pleased, got up from the couch and strode towards the silent pair. When Minato saw him coming, he quickly took his earphones back, ducked his head at Shinjiro, and disappeared up the stairs. Akihiko slowed, confused, and Shinji offered him a wry smirk.
“Were you just,” exaggeratedly, the boxer motioned between where Minato had been sitting and his friend, “socialising?”
Shinjiro scowled at him, but there was no heat in it. “Kid listens to good music,” he said, by way of an explanation.
Shrugging, Aki took a seat next to the older boy and rubbed his wrists, sore and bruised from the latest trip to Tartarus. He should’ve been happy that Shinji was making new friends, but he wasn’t. “Do you even know his name?”
“I don’t need to.”
― ¤ ―
“Why do you come here?” Shinjiro asks, when he finds Akihiko by the gate for the third time. It has rained all night and through the morning, and everything glitters. Something hidden under the debris shines in the sunlight.
Akihiko doesn’t know what to say, so he looks up at the sky quietly, takes a breath, then reaches out and takes Shinjiro’s hand gently in the fresh morning air.
He hopes that’s answer enough for them both.
― ¤ ―
It was purely accidental, but Akihiko blamed Junpei for it until he got smart enough to thank him, instead.
Everyone was celebrating the recent defeat of a Guardian by taking a moment to rest against Tartarus’ bloodstained walls. Junpei, as always, was bragging to Minato about how well he’d delivered the finishing blow, while Shinjiro and Akihiko stood quietly in the corner. The overexcited junior had just leapt off the wall, brandishing his sword and doing a highly inaccurate impression of what had happened, when he tripped over his own feet and stumbled backwards into Aki.
Caught off guard, Akihiko threw up his hands to steady himself as he fell forwards. His palms landed flat on Shinji’s chest, but they weren’t enough to stop him from toppling onto his best friend. For a few seconds, they were pressed firmly together, hip-to-hip and mouth-to-mouth.
Aki pulled back as soon as he’d gathered his wits, red-faced and ready to endure Shinjiro’s stupid remarks, not to mention Junpei’s endless apologies.
Akihiko had heard five rounds of “I’m so sorry, dude!” before he noticed that Shinji had left.
― ¤ ―
They often slept in the same bed as children, huddled under the covers with a flashlight and a mountain of chocolate, pilfered from the kitchen.
The first time they sleep together as adults, it’s after Shinjiro finds Akihiko in front of the gate, on his knees, clenching so tightly at the iron bars that the rust leaves a dark red imprint on his palms. As he takes his best friend’s hand and pries it from the iron, pressing lips against knuckles in the briefest, sweetest embrace either of them has ever known, Shinjiro wonders where it will go from there.
Where it goes is they fall into Akihiko’s bed some time later, and someone else’s salt is pooling in their eyes, dripping into their mouths and choking the laughter as it bubbles up through their chest.
― ¤ ―
There was a reason why Akihiko was captain of the boxing team. He had a mean left hook and had never lost a match to date, but that didn’t make him any more prepared for when Shinjiro barged into his room at half-past eleven at night and punched him square in the nose.
“That was for earlier, asshole,” he snarled, rubbing his cheek indignantly.
Aki ran his tongue over his bleeding gums and pressed the back of his hand against his split lip. “You deserved it,” he snapped. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
They argued, as they always did, and Akihiko said a thousand things he didn’t mean, while Shinjiro meant every heated word twice over. Once, the fighting would’ve ended in a silent standoff, arms crossed over chests, matching glare for glare. This time, Shinji grabbed Aki by the shoulders and they ended up tumbling onto the bed, still arguing against each other’s mouths and tearing at the nearest article of clothing, both lost in a heady mix of rage and desire.
― ¤ ―
Akihiko has never been once for romance. He tries his hardest to avoid his screaming, shrieking fan club, though he feels awful every time one of them creeps up on him in the hallway to ask him about the upcoming dance. He’s sent five away so far this year, each running off with her back shaking, shoulders hunched, hands pressed over her eyes, and sniffling so loud he can hear it in his dreams.
But when Shinjiro falls back into his life in a flurry of bad ideas and dangerous drugs, it’s Akihiko that seeks him out; it’s Akihiko that presses up against Shinjiro, body-to-body and hip-to-hip.
Akihiko’s always told not to let his emotions get the best of him, whether it’s by his coach in preparation for an up-coming match, or when Mitsuru stiffly informs him, time and again, of the etiquette that is required of those venturing into Tartarus.
But he finds himself letting all of his barriers down when Shinjiro kisses him.
― ¤ ―
The typhoon found Akihiko in his room, in front of his punching bag, boxing gloves on. The rumbling of the rain outside his window nearly drowned out the obnoxious thwack thwack of his fists hitting the sack, and he suppressed a wince as thunder crackled, painfully close and loud.
Aki remembered so little from the day that caused he and Miki to end up in the orphanage that he couldn’t possibly say for sure, but he wanted to think that the loss of his parents had something to do with the rain.
Otherwise, Shinjiro would often remind him as he curled one hand around the boxer’s neck and drew him close, Akihiko would just have to own up to the fact that he was actually afraid of something.
― ¤ ―
They’re lying on their sides on Akihiko’s bed, facing each other. Shinjiro has one arm wrapped around Akihiko’s middle; the weight is warm and comforting, and their closeness, for once, isn’t stifling. Yet the silence stretches endlessly on, and Akihiko watches Shinjiro’s relaxed face, taking a secret pleasure in the fact that his-his, he repeats, just for good measure-angry, violent dropout gets mellow and quiet when he’s tired.
Then, out of the blue, Akihiko presses a hand to Shinjiro’s cheek and says, “I love you.”
The older boy’s sleep-heavy eyes, half hidden beneath his mane of dark hair, flicker open. “I know,” he says, simply.
They sleep. When Akihiko wakes up, the morning of October fourth is already over, and Shinjiro is gone.
― ¤ ―
“I’m going to kill that Strega bastard!” Junpei.
“We’ll never forget him.” Fuuka and Yukari, together. The former was teary-eyed, but her words still sounded rehearsed.
“Every living thing must eventually die, Sanada.” Aigis. Beside her, the dog barked.
“I’m really sorry.” Minato, calm as ever.
Ken stared up at him and didn’t say anything.
As he matched stares with this small child, incensed grey into dull, sad brown, Akihiko found that he had never hated anyone so much in his life. It seemed ridiculous to have so much enmity for such a little kid. He was tiny, even for a ten-year-old. But that didn’t change the fact that there were times that Aki wanted to grab Ken by the collar and-
He didn’t know how to finish that thought. Mitsuru saw his disquiet, of course, and put a hand on his arm.
“It’ll be okay, Akihiko.”
They both knew it wasn’t what he needed to hear.
And yet, it still did the trick.
― ¤ ―
January comes, and Akihiko thinks he can hear the bulldozers from his bed as they raze the ruins of the orphanage to the ground.
He goes back there the next day. The rubble is gone, a fine layer of dust at his feet. A sign, commemorating the soon-to-be-built shopping centre, stands where the gate once did. Akihiko catches himself being happy that the world won’t get to see it.
That night, he discovers that there are no ghosts to take comfort in.
They haunt him, instead.
Pairing(s)/Main Character(s): Akihiko/Shinjiro, mentions of S.E.E.S.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~1,700 words
Disclaimer: Persona 3 is property of Atlus.
Spoilers: Through January, albeit brief and kind of vague.
Thanks: SecretBox!
Summary: They take comfort in memories, ghosts.
Maybe there is hope in fragments, that what is lost
can always be filled in by someone who knows.
-David Levithan
Akihiko reminds Shinjiro of Miki.
Shinjiro reminds Akihiko of Miki.
That’s all that matters. While they can, they take comfort in memories, ghosts. Soon, they’ll be old enough to know better.
― ¤ ―
Akihiko wondered if taking SEES’ newest leader along for the ride was a mistake. Barring that one stupid excursion into the slums behind Port Island, Shinjiro and Minato had never really met, and Shinji didn’t take too well to people who tried to be his friend. Aki had learned that the hard way.
In the end, it worked, and with Amada Ken as a bargaining chip, Shinjiro agreed to return.
“Is my room still vacant?” he asked, first. Instead of answering, Akihiko held out the silver case that held Shinji’s Evoker and smiled.
― ¤ ―
Akihiko still goes to the burnt remains of his childhood home, sometimes. The wreckage of the orphanage stands like a charred pillar, blackened by soot and yellowed with age, spearing the flawless surface of the blue sky and fragmenting the clouds.
The rubble extends as far as the eye can see. He thinks it’s beautiful, in some sick, twisted way, as he stands in the long, messy grass in front of the wrought-iron gate. The vegetation at his feet is worn down in the shape of footprints from the number of times he’s disturbed the quiet.
The day he comes back to SEES after a two-year absence, Shinjiro joins Akihiko by the ruins, and they stand together in silence.
― ¤ ―
When Akihiko caught Shinjiro talking quietly with Minato in the darkest corner of the lounge, he was more than a little surprised. He hadn’t expected Shinji to touch the new members of SEES with a ten-foot pole, and yet there he was, with one of Minato’s headphones pressed against his ear.
Aki, amused and pleased, got up from the couch and strode towards the silent pair. When Minato saw him coming, he quickly took his earphones back, ducked his head at Shinjiro, and disappeared up the stairs. Akihiko slowed, confused, and Shinji offered him a wry smirk.
“Were you just,” exaggeratedly, the boxer motioned between where Minato had been sitting and his friend, “socialising?”
Shinjiro scowled at him, but there was no heat in it. “Kid listens to good music,” he said, by way of an explanation.
Shrugging, Aki took a seat next to the older boy and rubbed his wrists, sore and bruised from the latest trip to Tartarus. He should’ve been happy that Shinji was making new friends, but he wasn’t. “Do you even know his name?”
“I don’t need to.”
― ¤ ―
“Why do you come here?” Shinjiro asks, when he finds Akihiko by the gate for the third time. It has rained all night and through the morning, and everything glitters. Something hidden under the debris shines in the sunlight.
Akihiko doesn’t know what to say, so he looks up at the sky quietly, takes a breath, then reaches out and takes Shinjiro’s hand gently in the fresh morning air.
He hopes that’s answer enough for them both.
― ¤ ―
It was purely accidental, but Akihiko blamed Junpei for it until he got smart enough to thank him, instead.
Everyone was celebrating the recent defeat of a Guardian by taking a moment to rest against Tartarus’ bloodstained walls. Junpei, as always, was bragging to Minato about how well he’d delivered the finishing blow, while Shinjiro and Akihiko stood quietly in the corner. The overexcited junior had just leapt off the wall, brandishing his sword and doing a highly inaccurate impression of what had happened, when he tripped over his own feet and stumbled backwards into Aki.
Caught off guard, Akihiko threw up his hands to steady himself as he fell forwards. His palms landed flat on Shinji’s chest, but they weren’t enough to stop him from toppling onto his best friend. For a few seconds, they were pressed firmly together, hip-to-hip and mouth-to-mouth.
Aki pulled back as soon as he’d gathered his wits, red-faced and ready to endure Shinjiro’s stupid remarks, not to mention Junpei’s endless apologies.
Akihiko had heard five rounds of “I’m so sorry, dude!” before he noticed that Shinji had left.
― ¤ ―
They often slept in the same bed as children, huddled under the covers with a flashlight and a mountain of chocolate, pilfered from the kitchen.
The first time they sleep together as adults, it’s after Shinjiro finds Akihiko in front of the gate, on his knees, clenching so tightly at the iron bars that the rust leaves a dark red imprint on his palms. As he takes his best friend’s hand and pries it from the iron, pressing lips against knuckles in the briefest, sweetest embrace either of them has ever known, Shinjiro wonders where it will go from there.
Where it goes is they fall into Akihiko’s bed some time later, and someone else’s salt is pooling in their eyes, dripping into their mouths and choking the laughter as it bubbles up through their chest.
― ¤ ―
There was a reason why Akihiko was captain of the boxing team. He had a mean left hook and had never lost a match to date, but that didn’t make him any more prepared for when Shinjiro barged into his room at half-past eleven at night and punched him square in the nose.
“That was for earlier, asshole,” he snarled, rubbing his cheek indignantly.
Aki ran his tongue over his bleeding gums and pressed the back of his hand against his split lip. “You deserved it,” he snapped. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
They argued, as they always did, and Akihiko said a thousand things he didn’t mean, while Shinjiro meant every heated word twice over. Once, the fighting would’ve ended in a silent standoff, arms crossed over chests, matching glare for glare. This time, Shinji grabbed Aki by the shoulders and they ended up tumbling onto the bed, still arguing against each other’s mouths and tearing at the nearest article of clothing, both lost in a heady mix of rage and desire.
― ¤ ―
Akihiko has never been once for romance. He tries his hardest to avoid his screaming, shrieking fan club, though he feels awful every time one of them creeps up on him in the hallway to ask him about the upcoming dance. He’s sent five away so far this year, each running off with her back shaking, shoulders hunched, hands pressed over her eyes, and sniffling so loud he can hear it in his dreams.
But when Shinjiro falls back into his life in a flurry of bad ideas and dangerous drugs, it’s Akihiko that seeks him out; it’s Akihiko that presses up against Shinjiro, body-to-body and hip-to-hip.
Akihiko’s always told not to let his emotions get the best of him, whether it’s by his coach in preparation for an up-coming match, or when Mitsuru stiffly informs him, time and again, of the etiquette that is required of those venturing into Tartarus.
But he finds himself letting all of his barriers down when Shinjiro kisses him.
― ¤ ―
The typhoon found Akihiko in his room, in front of his punching bag, boxing gloves on. The rumbling of the rain outside his window nearly drowned out the obnoxious thwack thwack of his fists hitting the sack, and he suppressed a wince as thunder crackled, painfully close and loud.
Aki remembered so little from the day that caused he and Miki to end up in the orphanage that he couldn’t possibly say for sure, but he wanted to think that the loss of his parents had something to do with the rain.
Otherwise, Shinjiro would often remind him as he curled one hand around the boxer’s neck and drew him close, Akihiko would just have to own up to the fact that he was actually afraid of something.
― ¤ ―
They’re lying on their sides on Akihiko’s bed, facing each other. Shinjiro has one arm wrapped around Akihiko’s middle; the weight is warm and comforting, and their closeness, for once, isn’t stifling. Yet the silence stretches endlessly on, and Akihiko watches Shinjiro’s relaxed face, taking a secret pleasure in the fact that his-his, he repeats, just for good measure-angry, violent dropout gets mellow and quiet when he’s tired.
Then, out of the blue, Akihiko presses a hand to Shinjiro’s cheek and says, “I love you.”
The older boy’s sleep-heavy eyes, half hidden beneath his mane of dark hair, flicker open. “I know,” he says, simply.
They sleep. When Akihiko wakes up, the morning of October fourth is already over, and Shinjiro is gone.
― ¤ ―
“I’m going to kill that Strega bastard!” Junpei.
“We’ll never forget him.” Fuuka and Yukari, together. The former was teary-eyed, but her words still sounded rehearsed.
“Every living thing must eventually die, Sanada.” Aigis. Beside her, the dog barked.
“I’m really sorry.” Minato, calm as ever.
Ken stared up at him and didn’t say anything.
As he matched stares with this small child, incensed grey into dull, sad brown, Akihiko found that he had never hated anyone so much in his life. It seemed ridiculous to have so much enmity for such a little kid. He was tiny, even for a ten-year-old. But that didn’t change the fact that there were times that Aki wanted to grab Ken by the collar and-
He didn’t know how to finish that thought. Mitsuru saw his disquiet, of course, and put a hand on his arm.
“It’ll be okay, Akihiko.”
They both knew it wasn’t what he needed to hear.
And yet, it still did the trick.
― ¤ ―
January comes, and Akihiko thinks he can hear the bulldozers from his bed as they raze the ruins of the orphanage to the ground.
He goes back there the next day. The rubble is gone, a fine layer of dust at his feet. A sign, commemorating the soon-to-be-built shopping centre, stands where the gate once did. Akihiko catches himself being happy that the world won’t get to see it.
That night, he discovers that there are no ghosts to take comfort in.
They haunt him, instead.