tired of all this day dreaming

[zephus]

i wish i had an explanantion for where i am in my life. i don't see the good in much of anything. every act is futile, every breath is wasted, and every action wrought with guilt. it comes down to the fact that the human race lives to die. every moment of my life is building to my death. then the rotting will commence it its entirety (i am sure it has been taking its toll progressively throughout my existence but in death it will be relentless and not even a face cream or a diet pill will do any of us any good). i see each day through the lense of a list that has yet to be completed and am ashamed when i fail to check off each individual item--even though i know that there will be a whole new list tomarrow. it kills me. it sucks the life from my already dying persona. there a a metaphysical circle that i am now outside of a reality i can no longer touch but is very visible to my imperfect eyes. outside of the circle it is quiet and there is always a trip wire in your path. i think that the paper man in his beat up car with deflated tires wonders with me. he and his son drive around when the sun is in your eyes and there appears to be no heat in their death trap vehicle. last night i had a dream that this cop kept following--a simple explanation why i live in fear. no memories of assistance from the law....syringes and drug dealers the norm on the south side (not in this town of course). i think talking heads put it nicely when they said "we're on a road to nowhere" but the trouble put it more acuratly when they said "nobody laughs anymore."

sine if you read this would you copy that cd for me?